Adventure Gamers - Forums

And we made it!

>pee in bottle
You do.  Obviously I didn’t watch.  I’m disgusted but proud of your perseverance.

>write
You write a second paragraph.  Then a third.  You’re past a thousand words within a few hours.  You decide you want to finish the entire section.  You do.  Not your best prose, but that isn’t the point.  Julia and the zombies have long gone when you finish, which you are thankful for when you need to run naked out to the car.

You rehearse what you want to tell me all the way home.  Instead, there’s a note on the door:

  Gone.  Sorry.

  Violet

You had to have known I was going to leave you anyway.  All the clues were there.

“SURPRISE!” thirty people jump up and shout when you open the door.  Good thing you were covering your [bother] with the pages you wrote.

One hour and three drinks later, you aren’t even that embarrassed.  I pull you into the kitchen and kiss you.

“You said you wanted something twisted for your birthday.”
“I was thinking more along the lines of you in peculiar lingerie.”
“I spent much of today hyperventilating thinking it was too cruel.”
“I figured out some important things today.  So, at worst, it was an extremely instructive cruel.”
“I’ll still understand if you’re angry.”
“You’re the one who’s going to be angry.  I have to tell you something about the snowglobe.  And the origami trophy.  And—”

I put my hand on your chest to stop you.  “I’ve a confession that supersedes yours.”

I open up my laptop and show you.  On my screen is your office, as seen from the vent above the door.

Of course you’re bewildered.  I explain: “When I was hiding your birthday present, I rigged a camera up there.  Not to spy!  Or, not to spy like that. I needed to know when you were coming home for the party.  I thought it would just be you at your computer.  I didn’t know you’d end up naked and peeing in a soda bottle.”

“I spent the entire day imagining that you were watching me,” you say.  “Maybe it only worked because you actually were.”
“Watching you break everything was maddening,” I tell you, “but I’m still here.  I understand, even.  Sort of.  So long as you understand that you’re only getting store-bought presents for a while.”

We’ve reached the hard part.  “I’m committed to this, budgie.  But I don’t know what we’re going to do with you.”
“No, Violet.  What are we going to do with you?  My turn is done.  It’s the only fair thing.”
“You’ve been miserable.  You’ll be happier this way.”
“I’m already happier.  Today made it so clear.  This is not what I’m meant to be doing with my life.  I know, I’ve spent six years in graduate school, I should be crying right now.  Instead I feel wonderful.  I love you so much.”

Me too, wallaroo.

Three weeks later we are holding hands in the supereconomy section of a flight to Australia.  My brother is lending me money to open a curiosities shop.  He’s found you a job at a comic book shop until you decide what’s next.

* * *

I know it’s not precisely Plan A, but we are happy and unstuck.  This is winning.  What now?  I understand if you just want to QUIT now that the merry glow of victory is upon us.  But you can also UNDO the last turn, RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, or (bonus!) view some of the so-called AMUSING things you might’ve missed.

>

I forgot to mention the last-try line when we finish: (you are my FAVORITE!)

Do we want to know what AMUSING things we missed? Of course we do.

>  amusing
Apparently a tradition in these games is that a victorious player is allowed to view a list of humorous things they may’ve missed on the path to triumph.  While I remain nonplussed that a stranger has turned one of the more emotionally complicated days of my romantic life into a “text adventure” game, I’ve resolved to be a sport about it.  Forthwith, then, let me review some possibly-overlooked highlights of our neuroses:

1.  ABOUT, CREDITS, and COPYRIGHT were also written by Actual Me.

2.  On your computer, you can OPEN BROWSER (multiple times), OPEN E-MAIL (ditto), and OPEN CHAT (eek).

3.  Various commands commonly implemented in other games have their own responses here, including QUIT, BUY (something), SING, SCORE, SECRETS, TOPICS, TIME, SORRY, NORMAL, SHORT, VERBOSE, THINK ABOUT something, REMEMBER, CRY, WAVE, and the traditional magic word XYZZY.

4.  After you SHAKE THE GLOBE, EXAMINE IT for a few successive turns and/or EXAMINE THE FIGURINE.

5.  Some things you may have missed examining along the way: ME, JULIA (once she’s around), LIQUID, GUNK, THREAD (then take something), GUM a second time, ZOMBIE (couple of times), PIRATE, CEILING, WALL, and FLOOR.  Also, the notebook has several pages to READ and its lenticular cover changes messages when you examine it.

6.  Some of the ways to achieve less happy endings to the game are to BURN PILE, insist on trying to OPEN DOOR once Julia is around, MOVE STOOL TO CORNER and STAND ON STOOL, MAKE LOVE TO JULIA, either EXAMINE BOOK too many times or carry the book too many turns, and THROW WASTEBASKET AT PEN.

7.  Much miscellany, a few examples of which are LOOK UNDER DESK, SWALLOW GUM and KEY, DELETE BROWSER or CHAT, BURN COASTER/PLATYPOD/CACTUS, PUT SQUARE IN POUCH, OPEN VENT, ASK VIOLET ABOUT SOMETHING, PUT KEY IN PILE (after cable is in cabinet), RIP CABLE, do anything to the JACK, PUT things in NOSE, KICK something, CLIMB BOOKCASE, TAKE VIOLET, and SLIDE KEY UNDER DOOR.

8.  As (bonus!) easter eggs, WARREN EGG presents all the Warren Tim Harried tracks, JULIA EGG presents all the main events across the hall, and PETNAME EGG greets you with one of my petnames.

I’m debuting a new line of stainless steel numbats at the shop and won’t keep prattling.  My husband has sworn off the Internet and so can’t type this himself, but he wanted me to tell you hello and that, even though he’s sometimes wistful about not finishing his Ph.D., it was plainly for the best.

Epilogically yours,
Violet

Now what, honeytoast?  Shall we UNDO, RESTART, RESTORE, or just QUIT?

>

wilco - 20 September 2016 08:42 AM

Aaaaahhhh, it’s a romantic ending Nice

Hm. I don’t know. Imaginary or not, she’s huuuuuuu!

Creppy Violet was spying, good thing we broke all her stuff!

What’s it with developers and their obsession with vents…

Thanks Karlok, interesting game

It was okay, not as interesting as I thought. The writing was amusing, but the puzzles are really not all that good.

Yeah, I want to interact with Julia too, but I’ll have to restart the game for that.
Here are some things from AMUSING I can still do:

>sing
Remember when you tried to sing “Livin’ on a Prayer” at Lucy’s karaoke party and the police came?

>score
I hope you’re not expecting some lame joke about how you can score with me all you want after you get your writing done.

>secrets
I shoplift lipstick sometimes.  Only lipstick.  I don’t know why I do it.

>topics
Eek, honeytoast.  If you’re casting about for another dissertation topic at this point, we’re in even more trouble than I thought.

>time
Remember when you declared you would no longer wear a wristwatch “as a protest against the commodification of time”?

>sorry
Being my berry smush means never having to say you’re sorry.  Please do write today, though.

>think about Julia
Ick.  That better not be something you do often.

>think about Violet
Yes, lorikeet, I wonder how you are able to do anything else.  Still, obsessing about my loveliness isn’t going to get your writing done today.

>wave
You’ve a super cute little wave.  I’m not sure if it really accomplishes much right now, though.

Primrose sings about how she has a special purple pen that she uses when she writes about boys. 

>xyzzy
That time on the sixth floor of the library:
“Violet, that was—that was—”
“Magical?”
“How did you do that?”
“Any sufficiently awesome girlfriend is indistinguishable from magic.”

Here’s the Julia egg. I think we missed only the 5 or 6 last ones.

>julia egg
1.  Somebody is coming up the stairs.  I thought you said no one ever comes in on the weekend?

2.  Two voices in the hallway: a man and Julia.  Julia hasn’t been in her office in weeks.  She shows up on a Saturday?

3.  Julia is here to sabotage you.  I’m sure of it.  She’s in her office across the hall now, talking loudly with her door open.

4.  The dude with Julia sounds like the one she was flirting with at Lucy’s party.  Remember?  He was scrawny and said his parents owned a hotel in Milwaukee called “The Historic Pfister.”

5.  I don’t know why I confided in Lucy about our problems.  I should have known she would tell Julia.

6.  You are distracted by Julia laughing inauthentically and telling Historic Pfister “You are so clever.”

7.  You are distracted by Julia talking about her abs.

8.  You are distracted by Julia saying especially loudly “...You could use mine to calculate pi…”*

9.  You are distracted by Julia going on loudly about how you get a discount if you get both tongue piercings at the same time.

10.  You are distracted by Julia talking about her [bother].  I can’t believe you dated someone so crass.

11.  You are distracted by Julia saying especially loudly, “Impressive, huh?  When I was in high school my guidance counsellor recommended that I become a contortionist.”

12.  You are distracted by Julia saying especially loudly, “It’s not so much that I’m double jointed as just very determined.”

13.  You are distracted by Julia saying especially loudly, “Sure, she’s cute.  If you can get past the mole.”

Hey!  Watch it, Julia.

14.  You are distracted by Julia saying “She makes things that look like summer camp crafts and tries to convince people they’re art.”

I wonder if I’d get away with it if I killed her right before my flight leaves tomorrow morning.

15.  You are distracted by Julia loudly saying “I bet when they first hooked up, she was like, ‘Would you like to see my didgeridoo?’”  (That has to be the most gallingly inept fake Australian accent I have ever heard.  She sounds like a Norwegian parakeet.)

16.  You are distracted by Julia laughing and mock-shrieking “Or maybe, ‘Touch my kiwi!  Touch my kiwi!’”  Ugh.  How can someone almost have her Ph.D. and not know that kiwis are New Zealand, not Australia?

17.  You are distracted by Julia saying especially loudly, “You’ve been working out.  I’ve noticed.”

Oh no.

18.  You are distracted by Julia squealing, “Wait, it’s your birthday, too?  Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

19.  You are distracted by a startled grunt from Historic Pfister.  I do not believe this is happening.

20.  You are distracted by Historic Pfister making noises perhaps best characterised as mewling.

21.  You are distracted by Julia saying, “Wait, if today is the 24th, and you are 24, that makes this your golden birthday.”  Well, then.

22.  You are distracted by Historic Pfister’s shrieking attempts to summon a deity.

23.  You are distracted by Historic Pfister saying excitedly, “Okay, now you’re a princess, and I’m a ninja!”

24.  You are distracted by Historic Pfister making a noise that doesn’t sound very much like a ninja, unless there is an order of yodelling ninja I don’t know about.

25.  You are distracted by Historic Pfister making contented little yelping sounds.

Aha, I can still make love to Julia.

>make love to julia
If that’s what you want, then I’ve nothing to say.



    *** I hope you get a disease ***



We don’t have to end this way.  You can UNDO the last turn.  You can also RESTART or RESTORE a saved game.  If you’d rather finish breaking my heart, then by all means, QUIT.

Aha, so that useless purple thread in the vent did indeed come from Violet’s sweater!
Puzzle pieces clicking into place… 

I figured out early that we had to take our clothes off to stop the itching (surprised it took you guys so long), but then I was convinced we would block our window with those clothes, not with unfolded origami. And I would’ve peed on the cactus.

TimovieMan - 20 September 2016 06:49 PM

I figured out early that we had to take our clothes off to stop the itching (surprised it took you guys so long), but then I was convinced we would block our window with those clothes, not with unfolded origami. And I would’ve peed on the cactus.

You said you’d participate, made it clear you didn’t like the game much, and dropped out. I have no problem with that. You can of course do as you please, I wouldn’t want anybody to participate against their will. But now you come back to gloat. And that is not okay.

You can pee in several objects, btw.

Karlok - 20 September 2016 07:25 PM

You said you’d participate, made it clear you didn’t like the game much, and dropped out. I have no problem with that. You can of course do as you please, I wouldn’t want anybody to participate against their will. But now you come back to gloat. And that is not okay.

You can pee in several objects, btw.

I said I’d participate. I never said I didn’t like the game much, just made a few comments that you took as me not liking the game. I didn’t drop out, I just couldn’t catch up in time due to a new job and a sick kid. I fail to see how I’m gloating now. Why? Because I mention I figured out the clothes-thing early? I’d never have found the origami solution.

Jumping to conclusions and being judgmental, THAT’s not okay.

TimovieMan - 20 September 2016 07:32 PM

I said I’d participate. I never said I didn’t like the game much, just made a few comments that you took as me not liking the game. I didn’t drop out, I just couldn’t catch up in time due to a new job and a sick kid. I fail to see how I’m gloating now. Why? Because I mention I figured out the clothes-thing early?

Please. You want me to spell it out for you? I’m not going to. You understand perfectly. 

Karlok - 20 September 2016 07:45 PM

Please. You want me to spell it out for you? I’m not going to. You understand perfectly.

Please don’t get into an argument with the Administrator. They never end well.