[Not A Speck Of Cereal]

Originally Posted by undeaf

I wish for a bridge between greenland and iceland.

Granted. Your new bridge is made of ice and goes over the north pole, into Siberia, through China, over the Himalayas, turns left for Australia, then crosses the Pacific to arch over Central America, finally crossing the Atlantic to meet Iceland somewhere near Vik.

Unfortunately, many sections melt before you can complete your journey.

I wish I had a frying pan made of solid gold.

[bulldog]

Granted

You have a frying pan of gold, but you told all your friends about it so one of them broke into you house and stole it and now you are broke and depressed.

I wish my headache would go away

[seebaruk]

*shazam!*

Your headache magically vanishes. Unfortunately this is because your head just fell off.

I wish I had a twelve inch penis, instead of this fucking enormous thing

[SoccerDude28]

*poof*

You have a 24 inch penis. The next time you have sex, it breaks.

I wish I can get any girl I want by just closing my eyes and thinking about her.

[Squinky]

*poof* The only girl you can think about is me.

I wish we were all asexual.

[undeaf]

*PFFFFSHSHSHSH*
We are now all asexual. But, in order to prevent extinction, theocrats and ultranationalists all over the world seize power and coerce everyone into not accepting it, and work frantically on a cure.

I wish for planetary rings around the earth, ones even more stylish than saturn's.

[bulldog]

*Poof*

We now have styles gold rings around the world and we are now known as the "Groovy Planet". But the gold rings block the sun and our plant starts to shut down.

I wish I had a tan

[Not A Speck Of Cereal]

*shimmer* <pop!>

A tan you have, as marvelously deep as you can imagine, but unfortunately, it's very orange and green.

I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony.

[Squinky]

*glimmer* The world sings "(They Long To Be) Close To You" in perfect harmony... on infinite loop.

I wish it wasn't raining.

[SSH]

*kachiung!*

It starts hailing...


I wish that owls were less hooty

[Melanie68]

*bippety boppety boo*

The owls are less hooty but now the waitresses are all A cups instead thus lessening your enjoyment of the wings ( Do you have Hooters in Scotland?)

I wish my house was clean.

Edit: I can't believe I linked to that site.

[Squinky]

*ping* Your house is now completely empty, thanks to the help of some very talented burglars.

I wish I had a swimsuit calendar featuring attractive male AG forum members.

[tsa]

Pling! It's in your hands. You flip the apges and you are very disappointed to find out that they are fat, old, greasy-haired buggers with missing teeth and fluffy beards. Some of them are women.


I wish I had a swimsuit calendar featuring attractive female AG forum members.

[undeaf]

You're only suppesed to violate the spirit of the wish, not the letter of it!

*CH-CHSHSHSH*
The two of you have the calendars you requested, but they show the subjects being tortured. A few of the subjects almost appear to be enjoying it.

I wish a third party candidate would win the next US presidential election.

[MoriartyL]

*Ba-da-da-dum!*

The American people are so fed up with their politicians that they elect someone they've never heard of who's on the ballot, just for spite. The winning candidate is a Mr. William Featherton, who so happens to be a bald eagle. Though artists everywhere rejoice for the symbolism, America collapses within the week.

I wish platformers were more popular.

[tsa]

Kazingggg!! You're back in the 1980's, without internet, and you have to play Pitfall on a Commodore 64 with no speed loader and only a cassette drive, on a very old second-hand colour TV.


I wish the seventh Harry Potter was out already.

[Intrepid Homoludens]

Originally Posted by tsa

I wish the seventh Harry Potter was out already.

*kapeesh* You are suddenly one of Miranda Priestly's twins, each of whom has her own personal manuscript of the as-of-yet unpublished book, delivered via courrier from Andy Sachs. Unfortunately you now have to live the rest of your life as the daughter of the most ruthless fashion magazine editor in the world and all the stress that comes with it.

I wish people possessed manners and composure these days.

[tsa]

Originally Posted by Intrepid Homoludens

*kapeesh* You are suddenly one of Miranda Priestly's twins, each of whom has her own personal manuscript of the as-of-yet unpublished book, delivered via courrier from Andy Sachs. Unfortunately you now have to live the rest of your life as the daughter of the most ruthless fashion magazine editor in the world and all the stress that comes with it.

Wow thanks Intrepid, that makes me 30 years younger again! And I will never see my mother (well hardly ever) so who cares she's an arrogant... person

Originally Posted by Intrepid Homoludens

I wish people possessed manners and composure these days.

Pladimmm, you're back in the late nineteenth century. Soon you are bored by the slow pace of life and the neverending niceties people exchange. The lack of an AG website makes you nuts...


I wish the sky was pink instead of blue.

[MoriartyL]

*foop*, you're colorblind!

I wish there were an enforced internet-wide law dictating that all forum posts must be well-constructed essays.

[Intrepid Homoludens]

*blech!!* You are now in 17th century France, but with internet, and you either must outwit your peers to win the King's favour or be cast out of Versailles forever and live amongst the smelly illiterate peasants. With NO internet access.

I wish people stopped believing in a god.