[Melanie68]

I always find that a challenge. When you need support from someone, how do you make sure you aren't draining them? When I'm in an especially down mood, I tend to avoid people because I don't want to be too much of a burden but that's not good either. I guess having a support system where you aren't always using just 1 or 2 people is important. That and learning to recognize when you're in your own little pool of self pity and find ways to get out of it yourself.

[Squinky]

Oh man, yeah, I agree completely. Whenever I make a really close friend, I have this weird tendency to start treating him/her like my shrink. I really gotta stop doing that.

[Jelena]

Originally Posted by rlpw

Please don't hit me.

Oh, but I'm ever so nice!

Originally Posted by bulldog

I was in that same type of situation a few years ago, you did best, cut the friendship ties, and move on with life. If she was really a friend to you then everything wouldn’t come back to her and what she wants. You have plenty of friends and friends that care about you, you are better off with out her.

Thanks Bulldog. I don't mind being a listener at all. But when I first discovered we actually had a one way communication I was both surprised and hurt. It really works so much better if there's some kind of balance in the end.

Originally Posted by Melanie68

I always find that a challenge. When you need support from someone, how do you make sure you aren't draining them? When I'm in an especially down mood, I tend to avoid people because I don't want to be too much of a burden but that's not good either. I guess having a support system where you aren't always using just 1 or 2 people is important. That and learning to recognize when you're in your own little pool of self pity and find ways to get out of it yourself.

I have two close friends to whom I share both the fun and the hard times. It works well since it's a balance when it comes to giving and taking. We go back more than 20 years and we know each other almost too well. One of them predicted my burnout long before I knew I was heading that way.
But I agree that some things are good to be able to deal with on ones own.

[Fairygdmther]

Originally Posted by Intrepid Homoludens

Anyh000z...



I've been back from San Francisco (returned Monday evening). My experience there is almost beyond words, but I'll throw a few around as impressions - atmospheric, romantic, haunting, bustling, crisp, soothing, enveloping, necessary, intense, moody, lazy, intoxicating, and.....marvelous.

I've made two new frieds. T, the indie filmmaker, with whom I had the most amazing time on a Friday night tikki bar hopping, and who exhibits a sweet boyish screwed up sense of humour parallel to my own. The other new friend is N, an executive in the pharmaceutical industry, an extremely private and secluded man, sensitive, intuitive, intellectual, and otherwise unreachable, even invisible, to those who operate on mainstream frequencies. He and I dined at this superb little Italian place tucked away in Russian Hill and populated by its neighbours, a Woody Allen crowd, and we talked of things most people never do, because they're blithe or scared.

Those of you here whose address I have will receive a postcard soon. If you do not, expect one from L.A.

Got your postcard today, Sweetie, thanks!

[bulldog]

I got my post card to.....all though I'm confused...... I thought you were going to take a naughty picture of yourself and send that to me

Oh well thank you for the post card I glad that you thought of me while you were away

[Not A Speck Of Cereal]

Originally Posted by Jelena

[rant]
I think I just ended a no-good friendship today by writing an answer to an e-mail I got the other day. Lately I've been evasive towards this person and I've been hesitating for a long time to speak out that I haven't got enough energy to stay friends with her. She sucks out all my energy when we meet. I feel reduced to being a pair of ears.
I really don't think she has noticed the imbalance in our friendship. She takes but hasn't much to give, unless it somehow leads the discussion back to her and her problems.
Anyway, without having been rude I hope my message got through to her.
[/rant!]

I did that once. I had a divorce, a move, and other life changes to blame it on, and so took the opportunity to get one or two negative people out of my life. One especially.

I emailed several friends and acquaintances saying that I was going to incognito for awhile to figure out my life, was signing off, they wouldn't hear from me for a long while, looking for a positive change, yada. Everyone who replied to me gave me fair wishes (many of which I've kept in contact with)... except The One.

The One sent a bizarre email back, accusing me of things, protesting and ranting. He claimed similar 'positive' changes in his life as well, but I just couldn't believe him. The years of dishonesty and deceit had been too much for me. I realized I could never trust him. Hell, he lied to himself, his family, everyone. I finally realized that he was dependent on me and some others for an audience of his diatribes, a group influenced by his fabricated tales of past affairs.

It's been 10 years now. He's tried to contact me once or twice. I have email rules that junk anything from him.

[Intrepid Homoludens]

Originally Posted by Lynsie

Got your postcard today, Sweetie, thanks!

You're welcome.

Originally Posted by bullsie

I got my post card to.....all though I'm confused...... I thought you were going to take a naughty picture of yourself and send that to me

I forgot to bring my camera.

Oh well thank you for the post card I glad that you thought of me while you were away

You're welcome.

[Not A Speck Of Cereal]

Originally Posted by Not A Speck Of Cereal

I did that once. I had a divorce, a move, and other life changes to blame it on, and so took the opportunity to get one or two negative people out of my life. One especially.

A post in another thread made me remember another major purge I had when much younger. I was a side-kick for a guy, and I very slow to realize that he depended on me for superiority.

Seems like everytime I returned to LA, he'd find me and I would take my place by his side.

The last time, I was walking down the Strand in Hermosa Beach and he was sitting on the wall, saw me coming. He dropped his skateboard on the pavement and scooted away from me a few feet ... only to make the dramatic turn around to see me in hopes of locking eyes, commence the hugging and resuming of the relationship.

But I recognized him from behind first and turned to say something meaningless to my walking companion, ignoring him. In my peripheral vision, I saw that he sat back on the wall and watched me walk past in silence.

I think I made my point, but he might have assumed that I didn't notice. I don't care, either way.

[Kolzig]

Disappointments only make one stronger, I guess.

Like I had announced earlier, my plan was to conquer Europe in the last weeks of May. As it turns out, I couldn't gather enough money for my travelling budget. Bills started gathering and I just had to push my plans to later date.

The good thing is that August-September sounds a lot better actually. By then I've finished with my summer job and the budget thing is in much better order. Also I won't be under so much pressure as I'm now. Too bad that it's still not clear where my friend will be after the summer. I know he won't be in Spain, that's for sure.

I have sold lots of my things, but there's still at least a ton of stuff to sell.
At the moment I have only two goals that need to be reached in the next few months.

1) University entrance exams in June, I need to read and know two books really well.

2) My job as a vendor invoice admin at Wärtsilä, work really hard during the next 3-4 months. Who knows, maybe they'll want me to stay there as an hourly helper after summer.

[Intrepid Homoludens]

Good luck with your plans, Kolzig. Someday soon I'll get to go back to Europe once again. This time I want to see Germany.

[Panthera]

I got the newest download from Norman yesterday, and chose to "restart later" when that option came, and turned the pc off some time after.
Today I can't start Windows. The pc goes through the loading, the black windows screen, and reaches the blue screen with "windows is loading". After just standing there for ages (without sounding like it's thinking), it finally goes to the log-in screen. I log in, no matter what account, and it loades the backround image, and nothing else.

I got a warning message some days ago from Norman about the newest update, stating that if I had a server and was connected to a network, I had to do some changes before the update, but I didn't think much of it, because as far as I know, I'm not connected to a network, I have internet through the University in Oslo.
I don't really know what to do now, especially as I can't get my pc to go to the menu where I can choose safe mode.
I've tried F4 and ctrl+S and none of those work. Any other buttons that can open that menu? It might be my keyboard that makes it impossible to press F4, it has the f-buttons as secondary buttons, nad I have to press a button on the left side of them to activate F-buttons. (Keyboard is called Smart office Keyboard from Microsoft)

I tried calling the Norman support and discovered that it would cost me 4$ per minute! Then I called my bank - postbanken, not because they could do anything, but because they're the ones providing me with Norman, and the reason why I have to pay for the support.
She said that there was nothing they could do, but she contacted their technical support, which said that it was probably a problem with my XP. Going to the Norman support forum, there's at least ten other people having problems after this last update, most of them have networks and servers, but also some private pcs. And I didn't do anything else yesterday, and haven't gotten a windows update in ages, so I don't think windows can just suddenly deciede to not work, out of spite.

I told her this, and she said I quote "maybe you should talk to someone who knows something about computers!" That was just so.. I had problems not stopping myself from crying there and then. I need my pc before I go to Bodo this afternoon (going to my boyfriends littebrothers confrimation), I've tried everything I can think of - written a post on the Norman support board, even tried to call their pay service and not getting through, and she just says, "well, our data guy says that it's probably XP, so maybe you should talk to someone who knows something about computers".

I've owned this stupid pc for two years, and never had access to any support for it, it's still working, even though I've had to learn some things the hard way, but my opinion apparently doesn't mean squat..

Just AAARGH..

[jacog]

Try F8

[samIamsad]

Pantsie, have you tried the "fail save" option? I dunno if it's called exactly like that, I'm running the bloody thing in Germon after all, but if you press F8 when your rig's booting up Windows, you get to a menu that gives you options.

edit: what jacog said!

Then there's also the possibilty to re-install the OS or just try to fix the current installation, which actually doesn't take THAT long.

[Panthera]

Originally Posted by jacog

Try F8

I had tried F8 before, but I'd apparently not pressed at the exactly right time. After trying four times I finally got it to safe mode mow. Gonna try the "fix" someone said on the Norman forum.
Why does it have to be so hard to get it to that menu? Thanks..

"Woo". I've gotten into safe mode, tried what they said on the Norman forum:

1. Start the computer in Safe Mode.
2. Open the Configuration Editor, navigate to Norman Virus Control|On-access scanner (local users)
3. Under Exclude from scan, select Files on network drives. Save.
4. Boot in Norman mode

And end up getting this:
When I click on my "Konfigurasjonsredigering" - Configuration Editor, I get this error message: An unexpected error occured in Norman Virus Control.
Module: Nvccf.exe
Location: Nvcct0A.ccp(373)
Time stamp: Mars 15 2007
Error code: 00000002
Error text: File not found

Wonder where my file went..

Edit 2: Oh, look, it doesn't want to turn itself off either.. But I managed to forward the two e-mails I needed, so the crisis is off.. I'm just not looking forward to reinstalling (or reparing) windows and installing everything again, which it looks like I have to do if Norman doesn't come with a fix. All my programs are installed on C, but fortunatly all my documents and pictures and such are on my D drive, and all my installed games/save files on G.

[rlpw]

Originally Posted by Panthera

I had tried F8 before, but I'd apparently not pressed at the exactly right time. After trying four times I finally got it to safe mode mow. Gonna try the "fix" someone said on the Norman forum.
Why does it have to be so hard to get it to that menu? Thanks..

"Woo". I've gotten into safe mode, tried what they said on the Norman forum:

And end up getting this:
When I click on my "Konfigurasjonsredigering" - Configuration Editor, I get this error message: An unexpected error occured in Norman Virus Control.
Module: Nvccf.exe
Location: Nvcct0A.ccp(373)
Time stamp: Mars 15 2007
Error code: 00000002
Error text: File not found

Wonder where my file went..

Edit 2: Oh, look, it doesn't want to turn itself off either.. But I managed to forward the two e-mails I needed, so the crisis is off.. I'm just not looking forward to reinstalling (or reparing) windows and installing everything again, which it looks like I have to do if Norman doesn't come with a fix. All my programs are installed on C, but fortunatly all my documents and pictures and such are on my D drive, and all my installed games/save files on G.

Can't you get to your system restore and set it to a point before you ugraded Norman? It should be in programs>accessories>System Tools>System Restore. And then get rid of that and get AVG It's a lot better

[Panthera]

some of the people on the Norman forum said that I should just uninstall Norman, and install it again. I'll uninstall it when I come home, but I'm not sure if I'll reinstall..

I've reached Bodo, staying here until the Seventh, and attending my bf's littlebrothers confirmation on Saturday.
After that I'm going to Horten for three days to babysit Kattinka (my grandmother's cat) while she's on a bus-trip.
(Hmm.. I think I've become way to dependant on Firefox 2's corrections.. :S)

[Intrepid Homoludens]

Panth, I'd just uninstall Norman, reinstall it, and click on 'restart now' and see what happens. My guess is that there's some stupid bug in Norman, for which a patch is hopefully available. Also, PLEASE let the Norman reps know that it's fooked up like that so they can work on it to prevent others from experiencing what you did.

[Jatsie]

I'm annoyed, I've been watching the local election results on television, after doing my civic duty and voting for the Conservative and Unionist Party, only to discover that my local council is one of those not counting the ballots until tomorrow! Gah, I don't like to be left in suspense.

[Spiwak]

So I've been gone for a while, as probably three of you noticed. I've been really busy with schoolwork this semester, as well a new girlfriend. I probably mentioned it at some point but I took a photography class and it turns out I loved it. I really impressed my photo professor, who at the end offered to write recommendations for me, and even mentioned that next time she and her husband are having a big show they want to interview as a possible assistant. Which would be pretty fucking amazing. Andrea Robbins and Max Becher are in New York galleries, Jesus.

Also, I caught up with my film teacher from last semester and she thought my final essay, which was on Wilder's Apartment and Double Indemnity, was amazing. Which is pretty cool. I like that I did so well in the two classes I wanted to do well in.

Now that my first year at the University of Florida is done, I need to figure out life-shit. Like where I'm going to live next year, and what job I want. I'm moving closer to having to figure out what I want to do with my life....photography or maybe critique? I still would like to try directing, but I'm so fucking afraid of it; I definitely don't have the balls for it. It was hard for me just to get someone to model for photographs. And I pussied out of going through a critique in front of everyone in my photo class, opting to go later with a much smaller audience. Man, what a pussy.

[Fairygdmther]

Don't berate yourself, it takes time to build up confidence. What about directing are you most afraid about? It's okay to make mistakes, especially while you're still learning, because then you can learn how to avoid them. Try to do the directing, you may find it isn't for you, but if you don't try now, while you have the opportunity, you may always wonder if it might have been right for you.

FGM