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Text Adventure Playthrough #7: Christminster
Should we try climbing the wall before we run after the parrot again? I’m afraid that once Edward gets it back, he’ll just go back to his room to work on his essays, and we won’t be able to cross the river anymore. 
Earthen Path
A bird table stands near the wall.
>climb wall
(the brick wall)
You clamber ungracefully but successfully up the wall, but you discover that the top of the wall is studded with broken glass. You climb down hurriedly.
>n
Bee-loud Glade
>nw
By the River, on the East Bank
The elegant clock tower above the college chapel dominates the skyline to the west.
Edward Forbes stands here.
A punt floats next to the bank.
A parrot sits half-hidden among the branches of the laburnum tree.
>give peanut to edward
“That’s an excellent idea,” says Edward, reaching for the peanut. But just at that moment, something seems to disturb the parrot, and it takes wing, flying away to the northwest.
Edward watches the parrot as it disappears with an expression of dismay. “Come back, Polly,” he calls.
>get in punt
The punt rocks alarmingly, and it is only by sheer good fortune that you do not tread on the hem of your skirt and tumble into the river.
Edward climbs into the punt.
>z
Time passes.
Edward picks up the punt pole.
>z
Time passes.
Edward plants the punt pole into the river bed and prepares to set out.
>z
Time passes.
With seemingly effortless ease, Edward pushes off from the bank, poles the punt out into the river and heads downstream for a minute or so. With a final graceful manoeuvre, he brings the punt to rest against the west bank.
By the River, on the West Bank (in the punt)
Here, the lawn descends to the edge of the river, which flows torpidly from south to north as though made indolent by the summer heat. A path leads north to a line of trees.
Edward stands here in the punt.
>get out
You get out of the punt.
By the River, on the West Bank
A punt floats next to the bank.
Edward puts down the punt pole and gets out of the punt.
>n
Arboretum
A parrot perches on a branch high up in the elm tree.
Edward Forbes enters from the south.
>give peanut to edward
Edward takes the peanut from your hand and waves it at the parrot, which peers down at the morsel suspiciously. “Come here, Polly,” he calls, and the parrot hops up and down a little on its perch, as though the choice between freedom and food is a tricky one. Then it spreads its wings and glides down to land on Edward’s shoulder, where it greedily pecks at the peanut.
Edward beams triumphantly.
Somewhere in the distance, the clock of Biblioll College chimes the half-hour.
[Your score has just gone up by one point.]
Not sure if serious about the crying, but I’ll do it anyway.
I’m not sure either, but King’s Quest VII had a puzzle that involved Valanice’s ability to cry on command whenever she looked at Rosella’s comb, so it wouldn’t be the first time in the history of adventure gaming.
After all, this game cut all ties with reality when it had us break a random stranger’s window on the off chance that it might yield a feather—which we needed to tickle a don. Having Christabella start crying whenever she thinks about Osiris wouldn’t be the most far-fetched thing the game has done. 
You didn’t try to make Edward cry.
> kiss edward!
I also feel we should try to get more response from characters. Why not start a conversation instead of the boring z-command.
Go to Whiterspoon. Let’s pump him dry.
Butter my buns and call me a biscuit! - Agent A
You didn’t try to make Edward cry.
Seriously? Have you every made someone cry by telling them to?
But if you insist.. no, it doesn’t work.
“Shh!” says Edward. “I’ve nearly caught Polly, don’t distract me now!”
> kiss edward!
>kiss edward
I wouldn’t, if I were you. The shock might be too much for him.
“My goodness, the time,” says Edward agitatedly. “I must, I must, get back and write my essay, otherwise my life will not be worth a farthing.” He sets off as fast as he can walk, the parrot wobbling on his shoulder.
Edward Forbes goes to the southwest.
I also feel we should try to get more response from characters. Why not start a conversation instead of the boring z-command.
You two are in charge of thinking up commands, not me.
Go to Whiterspoon. Let’s pump him dry.
>sw
College Gardens
The elegant clock tower above the college chapel dominates the skyline to the west.
Edward Forbes stands here.
Edward Forbes goes to the southwest.
>sw
Second Court
The elegant clock tower above the college chapel dominates the skyline to the northwest.
Edward Forbes stands here.
Turmeric sits here.
Edward Forbes goes to the west.
You suddenly realise that you look very silly wearing the bee-keeper’s veil, and you remove it.
>w
Archway between the Courts
Edward Forbes stands here.
An announcement is stapled to the south wall.
Edward Forbes goes to the west.
>w
First Court
The elegant clock tower above the college chapel dominates the skyline to the northeast.
The gate is closed, but a little wicket gate stands open.
Edward Forbes stands here.
Edward Forbes goes to the southeast.
>se
“B” Staircase, Ground Floor
Edward Forbes stands here.
The door to B2 stands open.
Edward Forbes goes upstairs.
>w
Professor Wilderspin’s Study
You can see Professor Wilderspin here.
I’m not sure what Karlok wanted to ask him about, but here are a few ideas:
>ask about elixir of life
>ask about spittle of lune
>ask about bible
>ask about latin
>ask about simon noble
>ask about wine
>ask about myrrh
Ideas for stuff we might want to do afterwards, in no particular order:
(1) Bother Edward some more; there has to be a point to getting the parrot back.
(2) We’ve searched one of the bad guys’ room, but what about the other one, the geometer (Jarboe?). Let’s see if we can talk to him, break into his flat, or something.
(3) Go back to the cellar and try to get the wine. First thing to do is to feel in the dark for the light switch, I guess.
(4) Can we see if it’s possible to get back the gooey thing, either in the shed (on the floor?) or by scraping it off the damn cat? I’m not happy we’ve lost this, because we’re going to need some myrrh sooner or later.
Oh, and can we check the time whenever we’re in one of the courtyards? I know it’s half past something, but I can’t remember which hour.
>ask wilderspin about elixir of life
Wilderspin ignores you and gets on with his marking.
>ask wilderspin about spittle of lune
Wilderspin ignores you and gets on with his marking.
>ask wilderspin about bible
Wilderspin ignores you and gets on with his marking.
>ask wilderspin about latin
Wilderspin ignores you and gets on with his marking.
>ask wilderspin about simon noble
Wilderspin ignores you and gets on with his marking.
Ideas for stuff we might want to do afterwards, in no particular order:
(1) Bother Edward some more; there has to be a point to getting the parrot back.
Edward Forbes’s Room
A poky and unbeautiful attic room, not improved by the broken glass all over the floor from the broken window. There is an unmade bed jammed up against a tiny desk, and a door leads out to the west.
The door to B5 stands open.
Edward Forbes sits at his desk, furiously writing.
An unstable table supports a gas ring that must be a terrible fire hazard.
“Hey!” says Edward, seeing you enter. “You can’t come in here, I’m not supposed to have women in here at all.” When he sees that you’re not about to move, he goes on: “Well, you can come in then, but be quiet and don’t tell anyone or else I shall be in terrible trouble.”
“Awk!” squawks the parrot.
[Your score has just gone up by one point.]
(2) We’ve searched one of the bad guys’ room, but what about the other one, the geometer (Jarboe?). Let’s see if we can talk to him, break into his flat, or something.
“C” Staircase, First Floor
A small white box is attached to the wall near to the door to C3.
>knock on c3
“Go away!” comes an angry shout from inside.
>open c3
It seems to be locked.
>break c3
You knock loudly, but you hear no-one stir inside the room.
(3) Go back to the cellar and try to get the wine. First thing to do is to feel in the dark for the light switch, I guess.
>hide in alcove
You get into the alcove.
>z
Time passes.
The cook finally makes his decision, muttering to himself. “Perhaps the 1931 Haut Medoc…” He selects a bottle from the shelves, and walks back to the ladder, looking around himself suspiciously.
You shrink back into the shadows, and he doesn’t notice you. He turns out the light, climbs the ladder, and you can hear him closing and locking the hatch. Instead of breathing a sigh of relief, you suddenly feel very scared. What if he doesn’t come back? What if you’re trapped in here?
It is now pitch dark in here!
>feel for switch
You can’t see any such thing.
>get wine
You can’t see any such thing.
(4) Can we see if it’s possible to get back the gooey thing, either in the shed (on the floor?) or by scraping it off the damn cat? I’m not happy we’ve lost this, because we’re going to need some myrrh sooner or later.
Turmeric sits here.
>x turmeric
This is a fat and contented ginger tom. A portion of his left ear is missing and he has a scar on his nose.
Garden Shed
This wooden shed is where the college gardeners have their tea-breaks and shelter from the rain. It’s deserted now. A door leads out to the south.
>x floor
You see nothing special about the floor.
Oh, and can we check the time whenever we’re in one of the courtyards? I know it’s half past something, but I can’t remember which hour.
>x clock
The clock tower is a tall and elegant spire above the college chapel. The clock only has an hour hand, so you cannot be completely certain of the time, but it appears to be a little after half past three in the afternoon.
> look
> look at Witherspoon
> ask W about himself
> show him ALL the books
Butter my buns and call me a biscuit! - Agent A
I don’t know if you guys want me to mention when I discover something… but the Master’s Lodging door is unlocked now, meaning we can access the telephone. Could have been triggered by a time shift. Or not…
Edward Forbes’s Room
A poky and unbeautiful attic room, not improved by the broken glass all over the floor from the broken window. There is an unmade bed jammed up against a tiny desk, and a door leads out to the west.
The door to B5 stands open.
Edward Forbes sits at his desk, furiously writing.
An unstable table supports a gas ring that must be a terrible fire hazard.
Somewhere in the distance, the clock of Biblioll College strikes four o’clock.
>w
“B” Staircase, Second Floor
The door to B5 stands open.
>d
“B” Staircase, First Floor
A small white box is attached to the wall near to the door to B4.
>d
“B” Staircase, Ground Floor
The door to B2 stands open.
>w
Professor Wilderspin’s Study
You can see Professor Wilderspin here.
>l
Professor Wilderspin’s Study
This study is a comfortable room, brightly lit by a window looking onto First Court to the north. Wilderspin’s desk is positioned under the window for best use of the light. There is a large unlit fireplace in the west wall, and there is an exit to the east.
You can see Professor Wilderspin here.
>look at wilderspin
Wilderspin is tall and bewhiskered, and you might guess his age to be about fifty. He is wearing a long black gown, and sitting at his desk, marking exam papers. He is carrying “The Reign of Akhenaten”.
>ask wilderspin about himself
Wilderspin ignores you and gets on with his marking.
>show men of biblioll to wilderspin
(first taking “Men of Biblioll”)
Professor Wilderspin is unimpressed.
>show the clavicula to wilderspin
(first taking “The Clavicula”)
(putting the bee-keeper’s veil into the handbag to make room)
Professor Wilderspin is unimpressed.
>show letter substitution ciphers to wilderspin
(first taking “Letter Substitution Ciphers”)
(putting the peanut into the handbag to make room)
Professor Wilderspin is unimpressed.
>show lab book to wilderspin
(first taking the lab book)
(putting the peanut into the handbag to make room)
Professor Wilderspin is unimpressed.
F..k Witherspoon.
> x desk
> x papers
> x window
> x fireplace
> look in fireplace for burnt papers, something, anything helpful
Go to Master’s Lodge
Have you looked up Arkwright in the Biblioll book?
Butter my buns and call me a biscuit! - Agent A
Professor Wilderspin’s Study
You can see Professor Wilderspin here.
>x desk
You see nothing special about the desk.
>x papers
You can’t see any such thing.
>x window
You see nothing special about the window.
>x fireplace
Since it’s summer, there’s no fire in the fireplace, and the grate has been mostly cleaned of ash. The fireplace is flanked by two brass griffins.
>x griffins
The griffins stand by the fireplace, one to the left, the other to the right. They are made of brass, are about two feet high, and have only one eye each.
>search fireplace
You find nothing of interest.
Go to Master’s Lodge
Master’s Lodgings
On the mantelpiece is a telephone.
A small white box is attached to the wall near to the mantelpiece.
Have you looked up Arkwright in the Biblioll book?
Post #239.
Did we ever get to talk to Edward (about anything other than his essays or parrot)? I don’t think so.
So let’s get back to his place and:
>x gas ring
>x desk
>ask about malcolm
>ask about honey
>ask about myrrh
>ask about wine
>ask about elixir of life
>ask about spittle of lune
>ask about latin
>ask about bible
>ask about parrot
>ask about window 
>ask about tears
>x gas ring
The gas ring is currently switched off.
>x desk
You don’t need to refer to that.
>ask edward about malcolm
“I can’t say I know Doctor Spencer,” says Edward. “Since he teaches chemistry and I’m studying history.”
>ask edward about honey
Edward is so deeply buried in the writing of his essay that he doesn’t hear you.
“Awk!” squawks the parrot.
>ask edward about myrrh
Edward is so deeply buried in the writing of his essay that he doesn’t hear you.
“Ark!” screeches the parrot.
>ask edward about wine
Edward is so deeply buried in the writing of his essay that he doesn’t hear you.
>ask edward about elixir of life
Edward is so deeply buried in the writing of his essay that he doesn’t hear you.
>ask edward about spittle of lune
Edward is so deeply buried in the writing of his essay that he doesn’t hear you.
“Awk!” squawks the parrot.
>ask edward about latin
Edward is so deeply buried in the writing of his essay that he doesn’t hear you.
>ask edward about bible
Edward is so deeply buried in the writing of his essay that he doesn’t hear you.
>ask edward about parrot
“A gorgeous creature, isn’t it,” says Edward, ruffling the bird’s feathers.
“Ark!” screeches the parrot.
>ask edward about window
Edward is so deeply buried in the writing of his essay that he doesn’t hear you.
>ask edward about tears
Edward is so deeply buried in the writing of his essay that he doesn’t hear you.
Oscar, do you have a save from before we threw the gum at the cat? If so, can you go back and try throwing literally everything we had at him? I want to make sure that losing the gum was the only option.
(And thanks for everything, by the way. Trying to turn our half-baked ideas into actual commands, and typing all of them, is a lot of work. 
)
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