[Intrepid Homoludens]

You know I do love you, samsie. I'll party with you, even if the rest of the world doesn't give a shit.

[Intrepid Homoludens]

On a more serious note, I personally think cynicism is bullshit and overrated. I prefer to think of myself as wise (which is a far different world). Thus, V Day may have had capitalistic origins (hell, what occasion doesn't anymore?) but that doesn't mean we should abandon any true and deep sentiment to express affection towards each other, at this time or any other time.

If we needn't wait for this day in February to do that, then why aren't there more loving threads here at any other time of year? And why wait til V Day to complain about it when you can whine any time you like? Taken in that sense, it's as if the cynics actually need V Day for that purpose.

[Lee in Limbo]

Except for Rob, who really does complain about it year round.

Me? I'm all about sharing the good love vibe year round. If I were more productive, I'd always give personally drawn greeting cards, but other than that, I see no reason to grouse about giving flowers, cards or sweets to people you love and cherish. It's your own sentiment and your own sincerity that are being measured here, not the companies who make the toys. Either you care enough to let someone know you love them, or you don't. Nothing else is relevant.

And as for the 'commodification of love', well, that's where definitions come into question. But regardless, if the love you give is from the heart, how you give it shouldn't be questioned. Most of us can't make stuffed animals, write and draw cards or create and package chocolates. They may be stereotypical gestures, but if you mean it, so what?

The only people who bitch about this holiday are people who are too afraid to admit to someone that they love them. Fear of rejection? Perhaps. But it's gutlessness that leads them to grouse about anyone else being less inhibited. Suck it up, buttercup. Life's too short. Get over it.

[RLacey]

Oh, wait, that's right... I'm just wrong again.

Silly me.

[Melanie68]

If you don't like it, you don't like it. However, we are the masters of our own happiness. Whatever effect Valentine's Day has on you is up to you (I am speaking in general terms) and you alone. You all want to hate Valentines, fine. The only person you'll be making miserable is yourself*.








* Spoken by someone who has made herself miserable in the past and not just with Valentine's day...

[bulldog]

Originally Posted by samIamsad

They want you to fall in love with the idea of being in love. 'Cause nothing says "I love you" better than flowers and chocolates and cards.
I found this "present" linked to on another board in another thread on the same topic. Don't click if you don't want to.

You are a naughty boy, that was great.

Originally Posted by samIamsad

Let's meet here on Wednesday and party like it's 1968!

Did you send out invites? Do you need beer? I can do a beer run for ya.

Originally Posted by Intrepid Homoludens

You know I do love you, samsie. I'll party with you, even if the rest of the world doesn't give a shit.

*slaps Trep on the behind*

Hey honey want to dance?

Originally Posted by Melanie

If you don't like it, you don't like it. However, we are the masters of our own happiness. Whatever effect Valentine's Day has on you is up to you (I am speaking in general terms) and you alone. You all want to hate Valentines, fine. The only person you'll be making miserable is yourself*.
* Spoken by someone who has made herself miserable in the past and not just with Valentine's day...

Well said Mel

[Meche]

I hate it too.....I want to cut Cupid's head off.

[Not A Speck Of Cereal]

V-day to me means selecting a card that is so hard to find, amongt the fruity and flowery cards that don't say what I mean. I want more cards with nothing on them, so I can say what I mean!

[Sage]

Originally Posted by RLacey

I hate Valentine's Day. I hate it. It's a day designed purely to swell the coffers of the chocolatiers, florists and card producers while making single people feel second rate.

As much as you like chocolates and candies in general, I'd have thought you would look forward to the annual February 15th half-off sales on premium candy assortments in heart-shaped boxes.

Originally Posted by RLacey

It also makes it very hard to buy birthday cards, and I know several people with birthdays in the middle of February.

Speaking as someone who has a birthday just before Christmas, as a person who was practically grown before he knew there was any kind of wrapping paper except Christmas paper, and as a person who has continuously heard "Since your birthday and Christmas are so close together I got you one gift for both"...trust me, there are worse problems to have.

[Squinky]

Originally Posted by Intrepid Homoludens

I prefer to think of myself as wise (which is a far different world).

And I prefer to think of that statement as arrogant.

Originally Posted by Sage

As much as you like chocolates and candies in general, I'd have thought you would look forward to the annual February 15th half-off sales on premium candy assortments in heart-shaped boxes.

I don't know about Robert, but that's what I look forward to. That, and Pi Day, which is only twenty-eight (or twenty-nine, if it's a leap year) days after VD Day.

[Ninth]

All these red roses and chocolate boxes make me feel a bit sick in anticipation.

Not that I hate it, exactly. What's there to hate? It's just completely useless.

[Melanie68]

Originally Posted by Squinky

I don't know about Robert, but that's what I look forward to. That, and Pi Day, which is only twenty-eight (or twenty-nine, if it's a leap year) days after VD Day.

You mean there's a whole day dedicated to Magnum PI? Will wonders never cease! My German teacher in high school had a crush on Tom Selleck.

Mel

[Intrepid Homoludens]

Originally Posted by Squinky

And I prefer to think of that statement as arrogant.

Sorry you think that way, but there are things I have personally been through that, had I chosen to become cynical about it, would have seriously destroyed me inside like acid (and I was already screwed up to start). In other words, mind your own damn business, you don't know me, okay?

Originally Posted by bullsie

*slaps Trep on the behind*

Hey honey want to dance?

It would be my pleasure, dear.

[Intrepid Homoludens]

Originally Posted by Limbsie

Me? I'm all about sharing the good love vibe year round. If I were more productive, I'd always give personally drawn greeting cards, but other than that, I see no reason to grouse about giving flowers, cards or sweets to people you love and cherish. It's your own sentiment and your own sincerity that are being measured here, not the companies who make the toys. Either you care enough to let someone know you love them, or you don't. Nothing else is relevant.


And as for the 'commodification of love', well, that's where definitions come into question. But regardless, if the love you give is from the heart, how you give it shouldn't be questioned. Most of us can't make stuffed animals, write and draw cards or create and package chocolates. They may be stereotypical gestures, but if you mean it, so what?

Yes, this is exactly how I feel. If the feeling, the sentiment, is very real and must be expressed no matter what, why wait for any designated day to express it? And if that day happens to be V Day, whose influence excites it that much more, it surely doesn't necessarily 'sell out' the feeling because the feeling is already there to start.

The only people who bitch about this holiday are people who are too afraid to admit to someone that they love them. Fear of rejection? Perhaps. But it's gutlessness that leads them to grouse about anyone else being less inhibited. Suck it up, buttercup. Life's too short. Get over it.

While that may be true for some people I don't necessarily see it as indicative of the psychology of all those - including myself - who think V Day, like Christmas, commodifies heartfelt sentiments. If anything, I personally think that sometimes days like this are needed by some to help inspire expressiveness anyway.

Today at work, for example, there was this young man who entered the museum carrying a bouquet of roses and a little Valentine teddy bear. He asked me if I had seen a young blonde woman in a USC logo sweatshirt chaperoning a group of gradeschool kids in the halls. I knew exactly what his plan was, but I told him I hadn't seen her. I asked him if she was expecting him there, he said no. He left the roses with me in case she turned up and then he went to look for her. As he walked away I saw that he was carrying a picnic basket, and it was around noon time. My colleague and I both melted at the thought and wished and we were the ones who were lucky enough to be the recipient of such thoughtfulness.

Now, did this young man need to wait for it to be V Day to do this for the woman he loved? No, not necessarily. However, does the fact that it's around V Day dilute his love for her, that he meticulously planned to surprise her with an elaborate romantic lunchtime picnic complete with roses? If he had waited for summer to do this, the florist from whom he had bought the roses, the gourmet foodstore from where he purchased the ingredients for the picnic, would still have benefitted from his patronage, even if it had been a bit later in the year. What ultimately mattered was that he loved her and he wanted to show it.

[Hammerite]

mutters enviously about valentine's day

[Intrepid Homoludens]

Don't worry, Hammsie. Love seems to happen when you least expect it. Til then, you needn't keep thinking about being on the outside looking in, just live and enjoy yourself and feel as alive as you possibly can. It's that that will inevitably draw people to you.

[Squinky]

Originally Posted by Intrepid Homoludens

In other words, mind your own damn business, you don't know me, okay?

And what, you think you know me?

It was a mistake to start this thread. I'm sorry.

[Intrepid Homoludens]

I make no presumptions about you, Squinky. I merely observe.

And no, I don't think it was a mistake to start this thread if it turned out to have us qualifying and quantifying what love means in such a commercial, consumerist age. I do agree with you in terms of it being commodified. It certainly made me think, at least. And it makes me appreciate love in perhaps a new way. However, I'm sorry if the thread turned differently from what you originally expected.

[Sage]

Originally Posted by Intrepid Homoludens

Don't worry, Hammsie. Love seems to happen when you least expect it. Til then, you needn't keep thinking about being on the outside looking in, just live and enjoy yourself and feel as alive as you possibly can. It's that that will inevitably draw people to you.

Trep is absolutely right, you know. It happened to me.

[SnorkleCat]

I can see both sides of this....when I was younger I had the typical knee jerk reaction to reject anything that I perceived as mainstream (such as Christmas, Valentines Day, television, Hollywood movies) etc...Being older now, I don't feel the need to be "fashionably cynical" at all. It passes. But I also don't feel any pressure whatsoever to act in the expected ways or express the expected sentiments...I think it's most important to just be oneself and appreciate the people (and animals) around us whenever and however seems suitable. I like celebrating things now and will do anything if we can have cake and a fun time together.

Sure, Valentines Day can make you very aware that you're single...I remember being in Glasgow by myself during Valentine's Day one year and feeling kind of lonely about it for the first time. It was even worse there, because they were touting it as the "City of Love" and the birthplace of St. Valentine or something... but if you're happy being single as most single people claim they are, then this should not bother you at all. If however, it DOES bother you and you feel kind of lonely and you don't like it, then it's time to find someone. This is kind of funny I suppose, but it was right around Valentine's Day that I signed up for an online dating site, and met my husband (jacog)...yes, yes SUPER dorky thing to do I know, but he had done exactly the same thing and it worked out for us....

My view is this...if something really bothers you, there's usually a personal reason why it bothers you. For example, I used to hate Christmas, but that's probably because I grew up in a pretty dysfunctional family where holidays were always to be dreaded. I can't help but feel that some of the V Day backlash comes from loneliness.