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Text Adventure Playthrough #10: Bureaucracy
>offer waiter to work in kitchen
[This story can’t understand the word “work” when you use it that way.]
[Your blood pressure just went up.]
>hit waiter
Oh no. Oh boy, no. Definitely not. You want to mess with this guy, you’re on your own. Count us out altogether.
>
Violence is never the answer. 
My psychic brain cells are guessing that door leads to the kitchen.
>s
PROM, NAPOL, PROM! - The Rise of the Golden Idol
>s
You slither out the back way, wondering why you never see any live dogs hanging around this restaurant.
Alley
This is an overgrown, grassy alley, surrounded by a tall creosoted fence. An open back door leads north; there’s a gap in the fence to the south. The exit leads west.
The waitress you met in the restaurant is standing nearby. Beside her is a mysterious-looking man in Deep Thought Corporation coveralls, whispering into a walkie-talkie that’s blue in colour.
The two freeze at the sight of you. “It’s him!” hisses the waitress. Before you can speak or move, they slink around a corner and disappear.
Somebody slams the back door shut.
>
Huh? The waiter didn’t even try to stop us? Weird.
>x fence
>x gap
>s
PROM, NAPOL, PROM! - The Rise of the Golden Idol
>x fence
It’s just your average unclimbable fence. There does seem to be a body-sized gap in it.
>x gap
It’s just your average unclimbable fence. There does seem to be a body-sized gap in it.
You’re beginning to feel normal again.
>s
You squeeze yourself through the gap.
Behind Mansion
You’re in the back garden of a mansion. You can enter the house through a door to the west, and there’s a gap in the fence to the north.
A recording of an instrumental version of “Yesterday,” which should help Paul McCartney pay for Give My Regards to Broad Street is playing in the mansion.
>
>w
PROM, NAPOL, PROM! - The Rise of the Golden Idol
>w
The screen door is closed.
>open screen door
You open the screen door.
>w
Porch
Welcome to the porch. It is a porch. Doors from this porch lead south and east. The overall effect is rather porchy.
You can hear an instrumental version of “Yesterday,” which should help Paul McCartney pay for Give My Regards to Broad Street playing in the mansion.
A macaw with a missing right wing is watching you from a perch in the corner. Under the perch you see some mail.
>x macaw
The macaw stares back at you, then bellows, “Nuke the whales! Nuke the whales!”
>x mail
You’ll have to pick it up first.
The macaw looks at you with one eye, then the other.
>get mail
As you reach towards the mail, the macaw yells obscenely and drives you back.
>
That is a very 80s reference.
I don’think it’s in our power to nuke any whales (phew), but the macaw might have more realistic demands.
>talk to macaw
VP joke: the macaw doesn’t have a right wing, but nuking whales doesn’t sound very left wing to me.
VP joke: the macaw doesn’t have a right wing, but nuking whales doesn’t sound very left wing to me.
That connection didn’t occur to me!
I’m having flashbacks to the parrot in Starship Titanic. Deranged birds must be a theme in Douglas Adams games.
>talk to macaw
The macaw doesn’t respond.
>
VP joke: the macaw doesn’t have a right wing, but nuking whales doesn’t sound very left wing to me.
I’m having flashbacks to the parrot in Starship Titanic. Deranged birds must be a theme in Douglas Adams games.
It’s random whether the parrot is missing the left or right wing, but apparently the “Nuke the whales” line is shown in either case. (Some of the other messages differ, though.)
I vaguely remember a reviewer musing that both Bureaucracy and The Guild of Thieves, which were released in the same year, each had a macaw. He wondered if it had anything to do with Anita Sinclair paying a visit to Infocom some time before, or if it was just a funny coincidence.
It’s been ages since I played The Guild of Thieves, but as I recall it there were no other similarities between the two birds.
For the sake of orientation:
>s
(check out the scene)
>n
>e
(check out the scene)
>w
>s
Trophy Room
This is the trophy room. You’d expect to see defunct lions, or at least school debating awards, but don’t. The reason why is a technical secret. Exits lead north and west.
A recording of an instrumental version of “Yesterday,” which should help Paul McCartney pay for Give My Regards to Broad Street is playing in the mansion.
A painting of Ronald W. Reagan is hanging on the wall.
A dowdy matron is sitting beside the radio. Her ear trumpet is pressed directly against the radio’s speaker. She has an elephant gun on her lap.
As you walk into the room the matron peers balefully in your direction and raises the elephant gun. “Robbers!”
>x matron
You see nothing interesting about the matron.
The radio begins to play “I Write the Songs,” backed by too many clarinets.
You assume one of three things must be true: the matron is too old to actually shoot you with the elephant gun, you are fast enough to get out of her way in time or this is all a bad dream. However, the bullet you receive right between the eyes convinces you that you were unfortunately wrong on all three counts.
Death
You are dead.
[Your blood pressure is 0/0, in 110 moves. Your status is Defunct. Your score is 2 out of a possible 21, making you a Victim.]
Do you want to RESTORE a previously saved position, RESTART from the beginning, or QUIT?
[Type RESTORE, RESTART or QUIT.] >restore
[RESTORE completed.]
Porch
Welcome to the porch. It is a porch. Doors from this porch lead south and east. The overall effect is rather porchy.
A recording of an instrumental version of “Yesterday,” which should help Paul McCartney pay for Give My Regards to Broad Street is playing in the mansion.
A macaw with a missing right wing is watching you from a perch in the corner. Under the perch you see some mail.
>
You are dead.
[Your blood pressure is 0/0>
Haha, that happens.
>e
(check out the scene)
>w
?
>e
Behind Mansion
You’re in the back garden of a mansion. You can enter the house through a door to the west, and there’s a gap in the fence to the north.
A recording of an instrumental version of “Yesterday,” which should help Paul McCartney pay for Give My Regards to Broad Street is playing in the mansion.
>w
Porch
Welcome to the porch. It is a porch. Doors from this porch lead south and east. The overall effect is rather porchy.
You can hear “I Write the Songs,” performed on common household appliances playing in the mansion.
A macaw with a missing right wing is watching you from a perch in the corner. Under the perch you see some mail.
>
I think it’s time for a map.
I would have loved to join this playthrough, but I really can’t find the time at the moment. Maybe I’ll read the whole thread afterwards and pretend I was part of it.
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