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Text Adventure Playthrough #10: Bureaucracy
>give beezer card to man
[taking the Beezer card out of the wallet first]
The delivery man makes an imprint of your Beezer card with his portable Imprint-O-Mat, gets you to sign a ridiculous form (which you notice in passing contains a larger number than there are things in the known Universe) and hands the card back to you.
“Thank you,” he says, depositing the bag at your feet. “If ever your future pet-feeding plans call for llama food, I hope you’ll think of Chowmail. Have a nice day!”
The man closes the front door. You can hear him whistling a cheery llama-food delivery tune as he walks away.
>
The man closes our front door? That’s pretty forward of him.
>w
>take all
(better grab the llama food first, in case we get hungry!)
>take all
The bag of llama treats: Taken.
>w
Back Room
You see a table and a combination telephone/answering machine here. On the table you see a hacksaw, an address book, a small case, your Boysenberry computer, a letter and your passport.
>take all
The hacksaw: Taken.
The address book: Taken.
The small case: Taken.
Your Boysenberry computer: Taken.
The letter: Taken.
Your passport: Taken.
The combination telephone/answering machine: You probably should leave the machine where it is, in case you get an important message.
>
>x bag
>open bag
>x treats
>eat treats
>x hacksaw
>x adress book
>x passport
>x case
>x computer
>x letter
PROM, NAPOL, PROM! - The Rise of the Golden Idol
>x bag
It’s a closed bag of Llamex(R) brand High-Fibre Llama Treats (with New! Improved! Spillproof SuperSack(TM)!).
>open bag
You open the bag of llama treats. The bag is full of Llamex(R) brand High-Fibre Llama Treats.
>x treats
You see nothing special about the Llamex(R) brand High-Fibre Llama Treats.
>eat treats
You’re not even hungry.
>x hacksaw
You see nothing special about the hacksaw.
You’re beginning to feel normal again.
>x address book
This is a closed loose-leaf address book. In common with many loose-leaf address books, most of the pages are loose and have fallen out. There are only two or three left. Most of these are stuck together with jam, chewing gum or an unpleasant combination of both.
>x passport
You flip open your passport, glance to make sure your French visa is still readable, shudder at the picture, wonder if you really look like a dead llama, and close the book.
>x case
It looks as if the small case is closed.
>x computer
This is the remarkable Boysenberry laptop computer, made by a subsidiary of your old employers, the Deep Thought Corporation of America. There are no operating controls of any sort, not even an on/off switch. All you see are a tiny screen, a keyboard, a modular jack and a slot for program cartridges.
[The word “Boysenberry,” and
the symbol of a partially
digested purple berry, are
trademarks of the Boysenberry
Business Engines Corporation.]
>x letter
This is the same letter included (at the last minute and at great expense) in your Bureaucracy package.
>
>open case
> look in case
>x telephone
PROM, NAPOL, PROM! - The Rise of the Golden Idol
Shall we go to the travel agency mentioned in the letter?
Or do we need to do anything here? I guess the telephone/answering machine is here for a reason.
>open case
You open the small case.
You see an adventure game cartridge and an eclipse predicting cartridge inside.
>x adventure game cartridge
It’s an adventure game cartridge for your Boysenberry computer.
>x eclipse cartridge
It’s an eclipse predicting cartridge for your Boysenberry computer.
>x telephone
There are certain answering machines which exert a malign influence. They attract rude and inexplicable messages. They intimidate at least 30 per cent of callers, so that half the time you get just an irritating “click” and your blood pressure goes up. This is one of those machines. It has a button marked Playback messages.
>
> press button (to playback messages)
...I hope this won’t mess with our blood pressure too much.
>press button
—- Type any character for next msg—-
You hear click followed by a dialling tone.
[Your blood pressure just went up.]
—- Type any character for next msg—-
The machine says: “Jones here. I’m the new tenant of your old house. There’s a whole bunch of mail been arriving here for you. Urgent stuff from the Fillmore Fiduciary Trust. You know what I thought? I thought ‘Do the right thing, Jones. Forward the guy’s mail.’ Then I found out about the termites. Then I found out about the nightly roach-dance. So I thought ‘Rats.’ I’ve returned your mail to your bank. Sort it out yourself.”
—- Type any character for next msg—-
You hear click followed by a dialling tone.
[Your blood pressure just went up.]
—- Type any character for next msg—-
You hear click followed by a dialling tone.
[Your blood pressure just went up.]
—- Type any character for next msg—-
The machine says: “Hi there! Mr Barty Slartfast? Boysenberry Users’ Group here. Just a reminder about our next meeting. We’ve got this insanely great adventure in, it comes in this blue box and, well, you’re an income tax inspector and you’re on this, uh, bridge, and, um… well, tell you about it at the meeting tomorrow evening at… hello? Hello?”
—- Type any character for next msg—-
The machine says: “You have won $25,000! Oops, you’re not home, are you? Oh well, too bad. I’ll call the alternate winner.”
—- Type any character for next msg—-
You hear click followed by a dialling tone.
[Your blood pressure just went up.]
—- Type any character for next msg—-
You hear click followed by a dialling tone.
[Your blood pressure just went up.]
—- Type any character for next msg—-
The machine says: “Look, just because I’m paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get me.”
>
[Blood Pressure: 135/87]
...I hope this won’t mess with our blood pressure too much.
(we were warned)
I am so sorry.
I like Mr Jones.
Can we play this game on our computer? Or watch an eclipse or something?
PROM, NAPOL, PROM! - The Rise of the Golden Idol
I like Mr Jones.
Can we play this game on our computer? Or watch an eclipse or something?
Haha the latter suggestion is oddly specific. Let’s try both.
Okay, so inserting either cartridge crashes the game with a “stack underflow” message, so erik might have been right… however I managed to get it working on a different interpreter so we’re good for now *fingers crossed!*
>insert eclipse cartridge into computer
The eclipse predicting cartridge slips into your Boysenberry computer with a thrilling little click…
BCDOS 1.0
All diagnostics completed
Press any key to boot…
Your screen goes blank.
>
(the other cartridge just boots up another instance of the game within the game)
I don’t think we have time-travel capabilities, so we’ll just have to imagine seeing the eclipse.
I’ll suggest one (edit: ..or four) more move(s) and then I’ll wait for other people to get on board. I’d like to try and release some of that systolic pressure, after I sent us down that aggravating tunnel of recorded messages.
>meditate
>take a nap
>smoke a bowl
>hum a melody
>eat a salad
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