[Squinky]

This forum game is based loosely on this and a suggestion by undeaf. I'm posting a random adventure game-like scenario, complete with inventory items and everything. Your job is to use what I've given you to dream up an interesting solution to said scenario. After a few posts, I'll choose my favourite out of the bunch, and the person who wrote it gets to make up the next scenario, and so on. Got it? Good.

You are a boy in junior high, and you must ask the girl of your dreams to go to the school dance with you. Your inventory items are as follows: a paper clip, a Victoria's Secret catalogue, a BB gun, a half-eaten sandwich, and a rolled-up pair of socks.

[Maquisard]

She's down the hall, and a jock is chatting her up. Use BB gun on jock. Walk towards her. On your way down, someone says "Boy, you sure smell!" Use socks. Walk even further towards her. Beset with anxiety, you can move no further. Walk to bathroom. Use Victoria's Secret catalogue with stall. Phew, tension relieved. Whoops, the button on your pants fell off. Pants are a new inventory item. Use paper clip with pants. Move towards girl. You can think of nothing to start a conversation with. Suddenly the girl says, to no one in particular, "Boy, I sure am hungry." Use sandwich with girl. The rest will sort itself out.

[Lucien21]

Find nearest phone and order slinky black dress from Victoria secret.

Using the paper clip, the half eaten sandwich and the socks you fashion an elaborate mouse trap.

Placing it in the basement after avoiding the janitor you catch a mouse in the sock.

Wait until girl goes into restroom and let mouse out.

After hysterical screaming, rush to the rescue shoot mouse with BB gun.

She would obviously be grateful for saving her life so ask her to dance using slinky dress to entice her. (Either wearing it- Hey it's the 00's you could be Female, or giving it to her to wear)

[Jatsie]

Go to housekeeping department, finding the door locked from the inside, slide catalogue under the door, unfold paper clip and use it to nudge key out of the lock, pull magazine and retrieve key. (I sensed you included those items just for that adventure game cliche, hehe) Use key to unlock door, move down corridor towards shelves stacked with bottles. Use socks with drain cleaner. Return to location of girl. Remove pellet container from BB gun. Throw sandwich at girl's legs. Shake pellets. Talk to girl, "Rattlesnake! Run into that classroom" Follow girl. Use socks with girl's mouth. Girl is unconcious from fume inhallation. End of Act 1.

[Giligan]

Get arrested by school security for carrying a BB gun. While walking to police car, use paper clip on handcuffs before you reach the car, or you'll have to reload last checkpoint. Once free, use rolled-up socks (preferably gym socks, used) on police officer. Steal car keys from unconscious police officer and do donuts in stolen police car on city hall's front lawn. Not in-game, of course, lest the adventure gamers complain of it having action elements. While in jail, use Victoria's Secret catalogue with sandwich to write memoir about your difficult childhood, and how you rose to become the person you are despite being a bystander with nothing more than an opportunity and inventory items, then appear on Oprah after you've gotten out of jail. Woo girl with money that you've gotten from your book deal.

[Panthera]

When the girl has gone to her class, bend out the paper clip and lock up her locker.
Take two BB gun bullets out of the BB gun and put them on the front of the rolled up socks (I'm assuming the socks are grey, since no colour was given), and take the tomato slice out of the half-eaten sandwich, and fashion it into a tail that you fasten on the other side of the rolled up socks.
Put the sock rat into the back of her locker, and put the Victoria Secrets magazine so that it's the first she sees when she opens the locker.

Wait until her class is finished.

When she opens the locker and reacts to the magazine, go inconspicuously over to her and say. "You shouldn't compare yourself to those ladies, they're fake and artificially manipulated, while your beauty is real, you're the most beautiful girl I know of, and I've had a crush on you ever since I saw you that first day at school"
Before she manages to say anything, pretend to see the rat, draw your BB gun and put several bullets in it. Take the magazine from her, wrap the rat in the magazine, and dispose of it in the nearest trash can.
After she's done thanking you, ask her carefully if she might think about going with you to the school dance.

[SSH]

Go to girl, Talk to girl. Select "ask to dance" dialogue option. Girl appreciates not being part of some convoluted scheme and says yes.

[Hammerite]

*takes note*

[Squinky]

Oh man. These are all great. I loved SSH's straightforward approach and Jatsie's brilliant use of asphyxiation; however, I'm afraid that I'm going to have to choose Giligan as the winner, for sheer convolutedness and a well-placed jab at adventure gaming purists.

Giligan, you're up next!

[Giligan]

I win? Really! I win! YES! W00t!

You're one of the creators of an adventure game that was amazingly popular upon release for amazing graphics, even though roughly 98.7& of all people who bought it couldn't finish it because it was too complex and difficult. Said failing persons usually say their copy of the game was broken, like mine, so that's why they didn't finish it. Anyway, you are standing on the front steps of a major film company building. Your mission is to get inside, past the stereotypically stubborn secretary, up to an executive's office, and convince him to finance a movie version of this old game. Your inventory items consist of a tire iron, a broken computer speaker, a pen, and a grilled salmon filet.

[SSH]

Look at pen, see it is monogrammed. Read monogram: "Terry Pratchett". Realise who you are, having forgotten with your Alzheimers. Spot TV listings magazine. Read magazine, realise that a TV movie of "The Colour of Magic" is on Sky over easter. The end!

[Squinky]

Try each of your inventory items on the secretary. No matter what you do, you get kicked out of the building. Talk to the starving film student sitting on the front steps. She agrees to make your movie in exchange for the salmon. The movie then goes on to enjoy success at several student film festivals and winds up being far better than anything a major studio could ever produce.

[ShadeJackrabbit]

Combine TIRE IRON, PEN, and BROKEN SPEAKERS to get FIXED SPEAKERS.
Plug FIXED SPEAKERS into STEREO RADIO.
Use SALMON FILLET to get SALMON CHUNKS.
Use SALMON CHUNKS in EARS.
Turn VOLUME NOB on STEREO to full.
Turn on STEREO.
Take KEYS from UNCONSCIOUS SECRETARY.
Take PENCIL from behind SECRETARY'S BLEEDING EAR.
Use KEY on ELEVATOR DOOR.
Enter ELEVATOR.
Press TOP FLOOR BUTTON.
Enter OFFICE.
Threaten EXECUTIVE with PENCIL to obtain MOVIE DEAL.

[Giligan]

Good ones. However, with respect to the cynical nature of SSH's entry, and the wishful thinking of Squinky's, I give the award to Shaderabbit, who is obviously the only person in this entire thread besides me who understands how annoying adventure games can be. Congrats, Shade! You're up next.

[ShadeJackrabbit]

Hmm... this will be an interesting one:

You are in a completely bare cell except for a video camera in the upper right corner and a blast-sealed door with a small slit for looking through. A guard comes by every 10 minutes, real-time. You must escape the cell. Your inventory consists of a twig, a rubber duck, a marble, your clothes, a floppy disk, and 2 used tissues.

Also, you will be shot if the guard sees you doing anything strange. (How? I don't know. It shouldn't matter to the player. The point is that you die.)

[Lucien21]

Look through slot to see when the guard go past.

As soon as he has gone past USE clothes to tie them into a rope and combine with rubber duck.

Throw Rubber Duck rope device at video camera.

Climb rope and USE used tissues to smear lens of camera.

Door Opens. Guard shoots you.

Reload.

Push floppy disc through slot.

Door Opens. Guard shoots you.

Reload.

Throw Marble at video camera. It smashes the lens.

Door Opens and guard comes in slips on Marble lying of the floor and drops gun.

Click on Guard to start Arcade sequnce "MONKEY KOMBAT" lose fight, die.

Reload


Throw Marble at video camera. It smashes the lens.

Door Opens and guard comes in slips on Marble lying of the floor and drops gun.

Click on Guard to start Arcade sequnce "MONKEY KOMBAT"

Use Twig to poke eyes out of guard.

Use clothes to tie guard up. Push Used Tissues in guards mouth to gag him.

Leave room with Rubber Duck to protect modesty.

Next up... Stealth sequence to escape prison.

[Squinky]

Take off your clothes and use them as pretty curtains with which to decorate your cell. Play with the rubber duck whilst happily singing the Rubber Duckie song from Sesame Street. The guard comes in on his 10-minute interval, aims his gun at you, then, as a result of some kind of existential crisis, turns around and shoots himself in the head. You're free to go!

[RLacey]

Snap the twig in half. Two halves make a (w)hole, and you walk through it.

[Squinky]

Originally Posted by RLacey

Snap the twig in half. Two halves make a (w)hole, and you walk through it.

This one is terrible to the point of being absolutely brilliant.

[ShadeJackrabbit]

Okay... Let's see....

RLacey's one definitely has wit to it, but it doesn't seem very realistic for an adventure game. Though... there was an old book which used this as a solution.

Squinky's is good, but it lacks that thin hold on reality that every adventure game has. (I mean, even the most ridiculous puzzle has SOME hold in reality.) I might've chosen it, but it would've been nicer to have some sort of reason behind shooting himself.

Lucien's sounds suspiciously like Monkey Island. I think it had the best example of rediculous, but somehow still possible, logic. Lucien, you win.