[Huz]

Originally Posted by tabacco

Stop thinking about where the damn ball is and just take a swing at it!

I just have to echo this excellent post by Tabacco. You're overthinking everything and worrying too much about possible negative consequences. I was going to make that observation in my last post, but forgot. EVERYTHING you attempt can go wrong, but you have to TRY to find out.

I hope you will take all the advice in this thread into consideration. I have lurked here for a long time and seen lots of people greatly improve their lives thanks to the advice and support of Trep & friends. I can also think of at least one person who was stuck in a rut for years (until recently) by stubbornly ignoring what was excellent and practical advice. Your current attitude reminds me of her.

We're not getting at you, we just want you to succeed! But as per your wishes, this is my last post on the subject...

[Maquisard]

Jeysie, not to join in what Mortie called "Jeysie bashing", but if my circumstances were that dire, I wouldn't be too proud to consider moving back in with my family, even as a thirty-something. That could alleviate the costs of renting, possibly even get you in a better neighborhood where you may be able to have a personal mode of transportation...I know how much this culture values individualism, and this may be far out there, but that's my two cents as a guy from a culture that's into practicality.

[Manhunter71]

Oh my god!!

I really wasn't expecting such a large response from this thread
but your replies have been very touching, and helpful

Mira - I always wanted to be an archaeologist! - when I was at school my favourite subject was history, and I had been obsessed with mythology from a very young age
Unfortunately I was dissuaded from following this path by a careers advisor who visited my school. He said that jobs in archaeology were almost impossible to find and that it was very likely I would never participate in a dig unless I was an exceptional grade A student
As I was only 15 at the time, I took this to heart and consequently never followed my dream

Jeysie - I really feel for your situation, but I don't think an online degree is a bad thing - employers may want a degree but they usually don't care where it comes from
Obviously money or lack of it plays a major part of the equation, but get a crappy job, anything that pays a wage which enables you to follow your dream - that's what I'm doing right now. I've got 3 local newspapers in front of me and I'm going to apply for anything that pays a reasonable wage so I can resume my studies

[RLacey]

Originally Posted by Jeysie

Trep: I've thought about getting a degree online, but like I said, I know several business owners and recruiters and everything, and none of them take online stuff seriously. They want traditional certs from well-known brick-and-mortar places.

That surprises me. Having completed one of those mail-in degrees shows a far greater level of self-motivation and dedication than when you're sitting in a university working to a (relatively) detailed timetable.

[Intrepid Homoludens]

In others words, Robsie, you call bullshit on that excuse not to get a degree, eh?

[RLacey]

No, because I don't know how employers in her area take such degrees, or how reputable the system of online degrees in the US is.

Certainly, though, the Open University in the UK is a reasonably respected institution.

[Stoofa]

Jeysie: I was in a very similar situation to what you are in now. I know EXACTLY how you feel. Sometimes it is hopeless! What I ended up having to do was be patient and wait for something to happen. I waited for NINE YEARS. I waited through all of the pecking by my friends (who only wanted the best for me but didn't understand my situation) and by my family (who like to tell me what I should be doing but would never hork up a dime to help me out with it) and now I finally have my opportunity.

Nine years is a very long time, and I did give up. My opportunity to better myself (a decent paying job) only came up 2 years ago, but I was so stuck in my "giving up" mode that I didn't realise that it was my ticket out of dullsville.

All you can do for now is to try to be as content as possible in the situation that you are in. Do you need to get that last year of high school before you go to college? Maybe that is an easier thing to aim for than university. I took a high school course again when I was 20. I was working in a pet store and my low grade in calculus nagged and nagged at me until I finally signed up for the course and upgraded by high school transcript. I studied at the store in between stocking tonnes (literally) of animal feed.

Unfortunately you probably will have to indebt yourself in order to go to school. That's just how it's done these days. I try not to think about how much debt I'm going to have once I'm finished, but at least I'll be doing something I really love and not selling people junk or fixing someone's computer.

[Jeysie]

Lacey: The problem is that non-geeks... non-geeks in my area, anyway, do not take online stuff at all seriously, or computer stuff at all, for that matter.

For instance, my roommate is always ragging on me because I help my online friends out with computer-related projects. This despite the fact that he spends lots of time on his computer doing projects for his offline friends. To him online stuff isn't "real" and isn't worth anything, and most of the non-geeks I've talked to express similar opinions. And unfortunately there are a lot more "non-geeks" in my area than there are geeks.

But then, you folks haven't believed any of the other empirical evidence I've had, so I guess you'll tell me this is all in my head, too and I'm just imagining what other people specifically tell me.

Trep: I very seriously don't appreciate your cheap shots. All you're doing is making me feel more like crap, because again, everything obviously works great for everyone else on the planet, even though when I try it, it doesn't work, so I'm the freak. I already said several times I'm sorry I said anything, so I don't see why you can't just drop it. Unless you're purposefully trying to make me not come here any more, of course.

I already get enough of this shit from my roommate, thanks. And he wonders why I'm so depressed and frustrated with my life, because nothing I do works right and I get told that it works just fine for everyone else.

[RLacey]

Can you clarify what you actually mean by an "online" degree? The OU works almost entirely like a standard degree course, except you work from home and post in work. At least, I think that's how it works...

[Maquisard]

Yeah, it can be a real college (with a physical location) that offers online courses.

[Stoofa]

Originally Posted by Jeysie

Lacey: The problem is that non-geeks... non-geeks in my area, anyway, do not take online stuff at all seriously, or computer stuff at all, for that matter.

For instance, my roommate is always ragging on me because I help my online friends out with computer-related projects. This despite the fact that he spends lots of time on his computer doing projects for his offline friends. To him online stuff isn't "real" and isn't worth anything, and most of the non-geeks I've talked to express similar opinions. And unfortunately there are a lot more "non-geeks" in my area than there are geeks.

But then, you folks haven't believed any of the other empirical evidence I've had, so I guess you'll tell me this is all in my head, too and I'm just imagining what other people specifically tell me.

I believe you! I see it all the time. It's just like how people you meet online aren't "real" people and don't have "real" feelings. Sometimes I feel like I live in an entirely different world than non-geeks. Luckily my family is populated by total nerds (dad, 2 brothers in law, step-mum, and now my sister is turning into a massive nerd to my delight).

It can be really lonely and depressing when no one around you shares your interests. I didn't have any friends at school either. I was too shy, too quirky, too cynical, blah blah blah. I have friends now but most of them don't understand the things that I'm interested in beyond knitting. Like right now I am obsessed with fish and aquarium keeping. I could talk about that ALL DAY LONG but no one else is interested. I felt so sad and crabby about it, here I was so excited about this topic and no one else shared my enthusiasm. By the time I actually talked to a knowledgable fish keeper I was so FULL of fish excitement that I think I scared him a little. It's the same with Blythe dolls. I love them, but people think I'm a weirdo for having dolls. That's why the internet is so fantastic, it brings people with odd interests together so you can geek out with them about it for hours. Geeking out face to face is better, but we can't always have what we wish for unfortunately. Now if only I could find a group of fun people to play Pictionary and Scattegories with me for hours every Saturday night....

[Intrepid Homoludens]

Originally Posted by Jeysie

Trep: I very seriously don't appreciate your cheap shots. All you're doing is making me feel more like crap, because again, everything obviously works great for everyone else on the planet, even though when I try it, it doesn't work, so I'm the freak. I already said several times I'm sorry I said anything, so I don't see why you can't just drop it. Unless you're purposefully trying to make me not come here any more, of course.

Make you feel like crap? Excuse me? Try this. Ten years ago, because of a stupid mistake I made, I nearly died. This experience f#&ked me up inside for the next 8 years and if you think you have self esteem problems you have nothing on me. Nothing. I was a walking cesspool of depression for years, and I don't think it's quite over yet. But I am willing to fight back because, like Stoofa, I'm sick and tired of it.

If I had been like you back then I would have ended up dead. And seriously, if I were in your shoes I would scream bloody war against my misery and fight to champion it.

So if you can't appreciate the support and encouragement we're offering you then I strongly suggest you stop reading this thread. No one is forcing you to, you know. It's your choice to wallow in yourself, just as much as it's a choice to never give up and get over it.

[SakSquash]

[Intrepid Homoludens]

I'll take the closest man.

@ Jeysie - I apologize for upsetting you. However, I do not apologize for the all the encouragement and support I've offered you. Those are genuine. Why should I regret trying to help you? That is the topic of this thread after all. Deep down inside you know I mean well. I've gone through my own personal hell, and it pains me to see someone else suffering through resignation, like I had done in the past.

The truth is that I can't drop it, as you insist I do. Because I care, simply put. And so if you can't take it, you don't need to keep checking back on this thread. You may even put me on your ignore list if you like. It would be the first time someone did so because I simply cared about them.

[tabacco]

Originally Posted by Stoofa

Like right now I am obsessed with fish and aquarium keeping. I could talk about that ALL DAY LONG but no one else is interested. I felt so sad and crabby about it, here I was so excited about this topic and no one else shared my enthusiasm. By the time I actually talked to a knowledgable fish keeper I was so FULL of fish excitement that I think I scared him a little.

I keep fish :p

[Stoofa]

Originally Posted by tabacco

I keep fish :p

*looks crazy eyed and rabid*

REALLY?

[tabacco]

Er... no.

(Yes)

[Intrepid Homoludens]

I love salmon.

[Stoofa]

Originally Posted by tabacco

Er... no.

(Yes)

TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT.

Er.

I mean....

Do you keep marine or fresh water fish?
How many tanks do you have?
What size are your tanks?
What kind of substrate do you use?

[Intrepid Homoludens]

Good going, tabs. Now you got her started.