[mag]

Originally Posted by Fairygdmther

I think the most important thing is to be yourself

Sincerity, huh? I can fake that.

mag

[Sage]

Originally Posted by Jeysie

(chuckles at Scott)

I feel strangely better now, thanks.

Trep:

So there's no hope for someone who's naturally honest, straightforward, friendly, practical, and simple, and thus, well, kind of boring and not at all suited for a "mysterious, aloof, sultry, hard-to-get" charade?

Heh. Now that I think about it, I was a bit incorrect that men don't pay attention to me. It's more like men *my own age* don't pay attention to me.

In the span of the past few weeks I've had two separate fellows, one of them just today, both more than old enough to be my father, offer to give me a ride from the bus stop. One of the fellows also completely puzzled me by telling me I was "pleasant-looking" when at the time I was pacing back and forth frowning and muttering in a fit of irritation over the bus being 30 minutes late yet again. (I would think that a description of "looking like you were about to throttle somebody" would have been more accurate.)

This isn't the first time men way too old for me have expressed interest in me. Yet men my own age don't find me interesting. Why is this, I wonder?

Peace & Luv, Liz

*horning in and answering a question directed at Trep* Because men of a certain age have the wisdom and experience to appreciate the real and permanent wonderful qualities you display rather than the false and fleeting shallow flashiness that some women depend on to attract equally shallow young boys.

ScottMate

[Fairygdmther]

Originally Posted by mag

Sincerity, huh? I can fake that.

mag

And no one will ever notice. Riiiiiiiight!

Lynsie

[Jeysie]

Scott: That's a nice sentiment... erm, is there anything I do to work with that with the younger fellows so I can find a date without having to wait two decades until I'm old enough to date the men who find me attractive?

Peace & Luv, Liz

[mag]

Originally Posted by Fairygdmther

And no one will ever notice. Riiiiiiiight!

Don't mock me. It's pretty much the best shot I've got.

mag

[samIamsad]

Originally Posted by Jeysie

erm, is there anything I do to work with that with the younger fellows so I can find a date without having to wait two decades until I'm old enough to date the men who find me attractive?

By the time you're old and grumpy - eh, I mean, experienced and wise, it will be the opposite way. You'll be having some fun with the hot, young lads and enjoying the envy of your friends! Sister, you've got some serious joy to look forward to.

[Intrepid Homoludens]

Originally Posted by Jeysie

Heh. Now that I think about it, I was a bit incorrect that men don't pay attention to me. It's more like men *my own age* don't pay attention to me.

In the span of the past few weeks I've had two separate fellows, one of them just today, both more than old enough to be my father, offer to give me a ride from the bus stop. One of the fellows also completely puzzled me by telling me I was "pleasant-looking" when at the time I was pacing back and forth frowning and muttering in a fit of irritation over the bus being 30 minutes late yet again. (I would think that a description of "looking like you were about to throttle somebody" would have been more accurate.)

This isn't the first time men way too old for me have expressed interest in me. Yet men my own age don't find me interesting. Why is this, I wonder?

Scottsie's wisdom is spot on.

I assume you're in your 20s, am I right? I'll tell you right now, a lot of guys around your age are looking for things in a woman different from men 10, 20 years older than they. Conversely, there are some older men merely looking to screw a younger woman (just like a lot of 20something guys ). Also, remember that the younger you are, the more insecure you feel. What do a lot of insecure men try to do to ease their insecurities? They screw young attractive women (not all the time, there are other things, like owning very expensive cars, etc.). What do confident men do? Other things.

(and yeah, I know this partly from talking to my many lady friends and to some of my older male friends)

[Fairygdmther]

Jeysie - is it possible that you're not looking in the right place for the kind of guys who would like you? I don't know where you meet guys that you're interested in, but some places like colleges, and bars are the places where only the "right" type of sexy girl is sought after. There are guys your age who would appreciate your qualities, but maybe not where you're looking for them. You may need to be creative here. Talk to the guys in the Home Depot store, volunteer to help out at a shelter and talk to some of the guys working there. Look where you might find a guy with stability and maturity.

Lynsie

[Intrepid Homoludens]

Again, spot on. If you want to meet someone you like, go where they congregate.

[em-deecee]

"Hi. I'm David." has always worked well for me.

[Jeysie]

Sam: (chuckle)

Nice thought, but I'm not any more attracted to men significantly younger than me than I am men significantly older than me. I find I can only be attracted to a man if I feel like I'm on close to equal footing with him emotionally and intellectually.

Lynsie: I don't go to bars or nightclubs... I don't drink, and I find crowds uncomfortable. So far I've just met guys wherever I happen to go in my normal travels... the mall, the bus stop, work, concerts, etc.

I guess part of my problem is that my hobbies are all either solitary or tend to draw older crowds... like barbershop, for instance. (shrug)

Where does one go to meet geeks, anyway?

Peace & Luv, Liz

[Fairygdmther]

Originally Posted by em-deecee

"Hi. I'm David." has always worked well for me.

That says to me that you are comfortable in your own skin and confident. If you say it with a smile, I'm sure it works well for you.

Lynsie

[Sage]

Originally Posted by Fairygdmther

That says to me that you are comfortable in your own skin and confident. If you say it with a smile, I'm sure it works well for you.

Lynsie

He's also being modest. The man meets and make friends with more people in a week than I do in a year.

ScottMate

[Fairygdmther]

Originally Posted by Jeysie

Sam: (chuckle)

Nice thought, but I'm not any more attracted to men significantly younger than me than I am men significantly older than me. I find I can only be attracted to a man if I feel like I'm on close to equal footing with him emotionally and intellectually.

Lynsie: I don't go to bars or nightclubs... I don't drink, and I find crowds uncomfortable. So far I've just met guys wherever I happen to go in my normal travels... the mall, the bus stop, work, concerts, etc.

I guess part of my problem is that my hobbies are all either solitary or tend to draw older crowds... like barbershop, for instance. (shrug)

Where does one go to meet geeks, anyway?

Peace & Luv, Liz

You go where the geeks go - to computer stores and game stores.

Lynsie

[Intrepid Homoludens]

And online. You're 1/3 there already, Jeysie.

[Wormsie]

Originally Posted by Intrepid Homoludens

Need some more pointers?

It was so obvious what he wanted of me. And he wasn't young and cute or even my type, not even physically. And besides, back then I wasn't single.

[Ninth]

I usually do small talk, and, depending on whether the conversation feels like taking off or not, I keep trying or not.

On a side note, I was in my favorite gaming store the other day, and a pretty young woman was asking a seller advice about myst like adventure, and the guy told her stupid things like "yeah, they all recent, so they're all good", etc...
So after he went I asked the girl if she wanted some advice, and showed up my l33t AG skills.

EDIT: So it's all about creating opporunities, sizing them, and then let the conversation flow. I used to suck at that, but thanks in part to the necessity of communicating for my job, I'm beginning to feel more at ease.
Of course, by some interesting paradox, these skills have appeared right after I met my girlfriend, rendering them pretty useless in the day to day life. Well, I can meet some new friends, but I have already too many of them (in fact, I don't have many friends, but since I like to spend a lot of time with each of them individually, that takes up plenty of my time).

[Swordmaster]

Originally Posted by Mattsius

I'm much better at starting a conversation with a male than a female. Around women I get very shy and don't really know what to say. [...] I ask stuff like where you’re from, when you moved here (everyone are new uni students so they've moved here from somewhere), in what part of town you live, do you like it there and so forth. [...]

As for talking to guys that's mostly not a problem. You can talk about sports, the army (one evening I sat for hours and talked to a guy about it, so it works really well) cars, computers, politics (it's quite easy when I'm surrounded by political science students) etc. There's always a topic that interests both.

It's too bad you can't discuss politics with women... Or what are you trying to say?

[Ninja Dodo]

"What are you drawing?"

A girl asked me that on the train yesterday. What I was working on at the time wasn't particularly interesting, just some planning drawings for an animation, but I showed some of my other drawings and we got talking for a bit until the train arrived at her destination and she had to leave...

[Jazhara7]

Originally Posted by Ninja Dodo

"What are you drawing?"

A girl asked me that on the train yesterday. What I was working on at the time wasn't particularly interesting, just some planning drawings for an animation, but I showed some of my other drawings and we got talking for a bit until the train arrived at her destination and she had to leave...

Heh. Somebody asked me that, when I was doing my art homework sitting on the window sill of the neighbour town's castle ruin, during the medieval fair. I was dressed appropriately for the fair (well, enough as not to be *too* out of place, when sitting somewhere. You can walk around the fair in normal clothes, but it makes me feel weird sitting in the old great hall of the castle (which doesn't actually have a roof any longer, and is also missing the major part of one wall) in normal clothes. So I donned a plain long skirt, a wide shirt (which somebody dyed darkish green blue, with some other colours in it as well), and a silk headscarf, just to blend in a little.

It also turned out to be a good choice for sitting down, not only because the windows are a bit set back. There was a stand of a guy making musical instruments there, and occasionally they played on them. Really nice. (it reminded me a bit of TLJ. I was tempted to buy a bone flute, but I never got to ask the price - I had to flee when the Kiepen-Kasper started his performance, and hordes of children came into the old hall.)


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