[feisar]

Ive worked for this company for just over a year now. I really like my work and everything, but ive always been outcast and not really allowed to feel anything but an outsider because of my age. Ive never let the horrible people dictate me and stop me doing the job I want.. Its never really affected me before, I see it as them cutting their own noses off in spite.. but its got a lot worse.

I work as part of a small team of 5, we are isolated from the rest of the company, there are around 90 ppl at the site, and 12,000 people in the entire company so its a fairly big employer and is respected, stable and been around in its current form for over 30 years... although no-one has ever checked to see if i was okay

Recently someone I work with made a mistake, they signed the last of something open and didnt get anyone to order some more, we ran out and all hell broke loose. This person made lots of lies up to blame me for it, even though their signature was in the book. Because this person is kinda the ringleader they belived her instead of me..

She talks about me as soon as my back is turned but wont say anything to my face. I thought she was my friend and used to be the only person i got on with there.. But she always has someone shes picking on, first she made this guy leave (he was really unstable), then she turned on someone else and it wasnt working so shes turned to me..

Everyone has started being vicous to me. No-one will communicate with me, I'll say something and they'll ignore me. This morning from 6am till 8am I was with this woman who wouldnt talk to me, she kept throwing things about, swearing, huffing and i was shit scared. They dont let me have a break either, I work 40/43 hours a week without a single teabreak and always have done. I have no contact with anyone outside these 5 people, dont know anyone in the company and there isnt anyone impartial I can go to for help..

Like my brother was out in Iraq in the army, my other brother used to be a in the milatry police the group he wouldve been in if he was still in there were killed out there. My mum was having a nervous breakdown over my brother out there.. the ppl i work with knew this.. so they put all the radios onto radio5 constant Iraq coverage and made a long running joke about me getting sent out there and being killed.

One of those 5 ppl is like a manager type person, he saw i was upset on friday but did very little to help and carried on the jokes.. The current plan is to see him about it the next time hes in on tuesday and then if he does nothing find out the address and write to head office :/

Its really horrible, I cant cope anymore and I dont know what to do and Ive got to go there tomorrow

Sorry this message is long/badly written :/ I have Broken Sword to make things seem better than they really are!!

Im not really sure how to approach things or what to do to deal with the situation :'(

[Starflux]

((((((((Feisar))))))))
What an awkward situation. You are right to confront them, and hopefully they will listen. If not, maybe you'll get some help from higher on in the company...

[feisar]

im worried if i talk to someone then they will get in trouble and make things worse for me.. but then they couldnt really get a lot worse and i just want an end to it now :/

[Starflux]

If they would be sensible persons they would be able to see this coming. And maybe they'll respect you more if you come up for yourself. Make the stand.

[Intrepid Homoludens]

feisar, this isn't high school anymore. Your damn job's at stake. I'm actually surprised you're complaining about it here instead of already having done something about it. It also sounds like you're not telling us everything about the predicament....like your own attitude? Or how you handle stressful things on a professional level? You have some work to do, so stop bitching and do it:

* Know who your immediate supervisor is, and who his supervisor is, and so on. Establish very good relationships with all of them. Know what they love, know what pissess them off.

* Faithfully keep a work log of any questionable incidents and/or comments incited by anyone on your team. Let your supervisors - and your co-workers - know that you are keeping a log. Conversely, record any outstandingly good incidents and/or comments.

* Establish a great relationship with your team members who are more friendly to you. Hang out with them often, bring them chocolates, ask them for advice (especially personal ones) to show them how important you think of them. TALK TO THEM, feisar.

* Find out one way or another the detailed work habits of the those people who make the most trouble for you.

* The reason why you're the biggest-ass scapegoat IS THAT YOU LET YOURSELF BE ONE. Come on feisar, I've seen you overcome great obstacles before. Don't revert back to being a weakling.

* And finally - this is THE MOST FUN - read THE ART OF WAR BY Sun Tzu. I LOVE that little book, so wicked and cunning, yet so wise and elegant. Also, if you're feeling extra nefarious, read THE PRINCE by Niccolò Machiavelli.

feisar, you know I love you ((((( feisar ))))), but for God's sakes will you PLEASE start kicking other people's asses instead of letting them kick your own from now on?!! They pick on you because you make yourself look weak. Are you weak, feisar? I've never known you to be anything but strong. If I were in your shoes I'd have smeared their bloody entrails on the walls months ago, and hey, I look even more delicate than you do (never underestimate the profound force of big mind in small body).

[feisar]

'trep u r so right. thanks

[Intrepid Homoludens]

Of course I am, darling! I'd send you my copy of THE ART OF WAR by Sun Tzu, but it's packed away with all my other books at my sister's house. Go and get a copy for yourself! I guarantee you'll be grinning so evilly the other passengers on the bus will start inching away from you. Self-empowerment gives me a hard-on. It'll do the same for you, baby.

[Starflux]

omg! I had planned on reading it a long time ago, but can it be gotten that simple? Is the internetpage you gave the entire book? How can I acquire it, maybe in a bookstore?

[Phil25]

My piece of advice comes from personal experience and my dealing with shitheads. I agree with 'Trep's advice about keeping a strong front and there's no other way of showing that then looking like you don't care. Nothing gets on somebody's heels like a person who doesn't act like you want them to. They treat you like shit, you come in everyday smiling, no matter what you feel, you keep smiling till they stop. They crack a joke about you, just give an ol' shiteatin' grin and I'll bet dollars to diamonds that they'll be infuriated just cause you're not feeling like they want you to.

BTW Trep, those links rock, I've been meaning to read The Prince for a while now.

[Intrepid Homoludens]

Originally Posted by Flux

omg! I had planned on reading it a long time ago, but can it be gotten that simple? Is the internetpage you gave the entire book? How can I acquire it, maybe in a bookstore?

No, Flux, don't read it off the Internet. Go to the bookstore and get your own copy. This book is perfect during bus rides and short trips, the book itself is thin. When you apply the wisdom to the problems of your life, it's almost scary to see them go to work kicking ass. I love so many of the passages!!

24. "Attack him where he is unprepared, appear where you are not expected."

2. "To secure ourselves against defeat lies in our own hands, but the opportunity of defeating the enemy is provided by the enemy himself."

16. "The consummate leader cultivates the moral law, and strictly adheres to method and discipline; thus it is in his power to control success."

[twifkak]

WTF, feisar. It's situations like that that make me reconsider my stance on the death penalty.

Or just listen to Trep.

[Starflux]

Wow! Next time I'm in Amsterdam I'll visit the American Book Centre or Waterstones and find it! I already read some of the passages on the internet, and loved it!

,,O divine art of subtlety and secrecy! Through you we learn to be invisible, through you inaudible; and hence we can hold the enemy's fate in our hands."

[jaf]

Feisie

[Intrepid Homoludens]

LOL It just occurred to me how fierce and disciplined you are whenever you talk about PS2 games and post weekly charts, feisar, and yet in your professional and personal life you're cluttered and unfocused. Boy, you need to transfer some of that fierceness and discipline over. Gaming and talking about gaming alone will not see you through life, it should be never be an escape from the pressures of reality - instead it should be both retreat and augmentation for life.

[Starflux]

Hear, hear!

[feisar]

hmm.

Today i got things sorted

My supivisor was really worried about me, and i talked with him for a bit, handled it well and i think its sorted. I think i can take this in my stride, at least now i know what the people i work with are really like, and go on from here making sure it doesnt happen again..

[Intrepid Homoludens]

Congratulations, my good man. Now, cultivate those good relationships and see what good things they bring, not only to you but to everyone. wooHOO!

[feisar]

btw this is kinda a side note but it made me chuckle:

my employers have been working on a new range for a number of years now, the advertising campaign for the launch has cost more than £6 million.

Sharwood's is one of our biggest brands and the UK leader in asian cooking and has been around since 1889, this new range features an ad where people try out this new range of cooking sauces with some friends of theirs and wake the neighbours up.. the voiceover calls it "deliciously rich", that everyone should have a go at it and the tagline for the company is "stir up some passion"..

the new range is called "Bundh", which translates as arse in one of the very countires that sauce is based on the cuisine from. So basically the ad now seems like one massive inndueno for anal sex and we sell product called arse!! and they arent going to change the name!!

Its since been all over the news and seriously damaged their credibility, which is interesting as they are about to float on the stock market again and are looking for investors..

[Intrepid Homoludens]

LMAO!!

.........But does it taste any good?

[Tamara]

LOL! Honestly .. how did they come up with the name in the first place if they didn't know what it meant ..

Also, I like Sharwood's Mango Chutney a lot