[tsa]

Originally Posted by Squinky

Well, as I said, I already knew that. I haven't been living under a rock, you know. I just don't understand why it would have been necessary, except as a jab at me and my stupid idealism.

(And no, the fact that he's the same age as my parents doesn't mean I should automatically respect every word he says. Respect, in my eyes, needs to be earned.)

I think we'll have to let you wallow in your misery for a while Squinky. Come back when you feel better.

[Intrepid Homoludens]

I agree totally.

[tsa]

Originally Posted by Intrepid Homoludens

But I hadn't told you the whole story.

Wow, and what a story it is! You were famous. Isn't that also why you left? I was 'famous' for a while for something I'd invented at work, and I didn't like that at all. Suddenly you have many 'friends' who all want something from you.

[Intrepid Homoludens]

Maybe I was a little famous but it would have been on a very, very local level. My old professors in the fashion department at art school put another notch on their proverbial wall for another job well done which was me. Other students envied me and some of those students who I studied design with resented me. As for myself, I just wanted to stay productive. I wanted to create. I didn't care about fame if it landed on my lap and I certainly didn't care about making tons of money. I just wanted to create.

I left because I didn't want to be known as the designer of So-And-So Company. I wanted to earn my own renown based on my own pure ideas (with due respect, of course, to my bosses' philosophy as per their company).

Today that energy looks to be focused on new things for me. It's hard, though, because I really am starting from scratch again. You yourself know how that feels. And we both know, once again, a little bit of Squinky's frustration with trying to stay grounded yet true to one's self in the world. But that shouldn't mean that we mustn't get excited about what new things we've produced or new ideas we have. It simply means that in a way we're back at square one and some of the rules have changed and others have not.

[Jatsie]

I like when Squinky gets grouchy, she's feisty.

Dolphins jump through hoops and they still get caught in tuna nets. *mmmn, dolphin-mayo sandwich* I'm not sure what the moral of this story is...

[Intrepid Homoludens]

....Squinky is a dolphin.

[Jatsie]

It's that cute little bottle nose.

[tsa]

Originally Posted by Intrepid Homoludens

Maybe I was a little famous but it would have been on a very, very local level. My old professors in the fashion department at art school put another notch on their proverbial wall for another job well done which was me. Other students envied me and some of those students who I studied design with resented me. As for myself, I just wanted to stay productive. I wanted to create. I didn't care about fame if it landed on my lap and I certainly didn't care about making tons of money. I just wanted to create.

I left because I didn't want to be known as the designer of So-And-So Company. I wanted to earn my own renown based on my own pure ideas (with due respect, of course, to my bosses' philosophy as per their company).

Today that energy looks to be focused on new things for me. It's hard, though, because I really am starting from scratch again. You yourself know how that feels. And we both know, once again, a little bit of Squinky's frustration with trying to stay grounded yet true to one's self in the world. But that shouldn't mean that we mustn't get excited about what new things we've produced or new ideas we have. It simply means that in a way we're back at square one and some of the rules have changed and others have not.

Well said Trepsie. I have nothing to add

[Squinky]

*smiles at Jatsie*

[Squinky]

Addendum to last night's sparring match: Trep, tsa, I'm sorry. I, too, neglected to tell you the whole story. Truth is, I had a dream job once, too. It was at Telltale Games. I don't know whether you already knew that. It was just an internship, and I mostly worked on that CSI game everyone hates, of all things, but I loved the working environment, because my creativity was encouraged, and I was mentored by people I liked and admired. It just fit. Unfortunately, that ended, and I haven't had another internship or part-time job like it since. So, that's where all the frustration stems from; I feel pressured to find another working environment (perhaps the very same one, hopefully) that fits me in exactly the same way, and I'm scared that I won't, and that I'll spend the rest of my life wondering what might have been, so to speak. Seeing an advisor isn't going to tell me anything I don't already know. Hope that sheds a little more light on my situation.

I still maintain that it does more harm than good to offer help when people don't ask for it (particularly when one doesn't know the whole story), and that Speck's comment was completely unnecessary (I admit, a lot of his posts tend to rub me the wrong way in the first place, so if it were someone else, I don't think I would have reacted as strongly). I don't however, want anyone to think that I'm a stubborn kid who thinks she's too smart to listen to people who have been there. I do listen; why do you think I get along so well with Lee, among others? And I know that you all know what I'm going through (hell, a few days ago, I was sifting through the archives, and found Trep saying the exact things to Kingz five years ago), and that you're sick and tired of watching us young'uns going through the very same pitfalls in life and being just as annoying as you were at that age. And you know what? I know I don't understand, and that 42-year-old Squinky with her Cruella DeVil hair is going to want to come back and whack me repeatedly with her cane for being so stupid right now. But I'll go through it all, and I'll learn from experience. It's not the end of the world. My earliest expiry date is still 23 years from now, at least according to a Ouija board my friends and I played with back when I was 12.

I just wanted a place to vent in the meantime, where I wouldn't have to worry about being judged. Like I said, isn't this what this place is for?

[Melanie68]

Yes it is a place to vent. But it ISN'T a place to insult people or call them assholes. Period.

[Jatsie]

I'd like to be caned by Cruella de Vil Squinky.

I mean...

er...

*exeunt*


As a small child I always wanted to be like Cruella, she was so fabulous, those high heels, the wonderful outfits, that long elegant cigarette holder poised between her slender fingers, the way she commanded such obedience. I should have known I was gay back then... Wait, didn't I just leave? *vanishes*

[tsa]

Thanks for your comments Squinky. But you know that friendly people will usually offer help, even if you don't ask for it. I actually liked our sparring match of this morning (for me it was morning). It made me realize that I was the same as you when I started work about 12 years ago, and that I'm in a similar situation right now, as I said before. Knowing that other people are having similar problems as you takes part of the burden away.

And it takes a lot to get me angry with someone. You almost managed it. You can consider that a compliment Squinky. Not many people get as far as you

[Giligan]

I think I'll go hide from adulthood and responsibilities like jobs.

[Jatsie]

Good idea, become a lady of leisure like me.

[Giligan]

You mean like, kill you and steal your identity?

[Jatsie]

Well I suppose you could, I wouldn't exactly be in a position to complain if you did, but do you really want to be a gay Englishman? You do realise you'd never be able to wear those awful plaid shirts again...

[Squinky]

Originally Posted by Melanie68

Yes it is a place to vent. But it ISN'T a place to insult people or call them assholes. Period.

Actually, I meant to imply that he was acting like an asshole rather than outright calling him one. But that aside, is it the word you have a problem with, or the sentiment? I'll be more than happy to change the word to a less offensive version, but the feeling still stands. I was insulted by his remark, and felt the need to point it out. Simple as that.

Originally Posted by tsa

But you know that friendly people will usually offer help, even if you don't ask for it.

I know. I just sometimes wish they wouldn't, especially in cases where it does more harm than good. There's probably some personality or cultural difference at work, here.

[Giligan]

Originally Posted by Jat316sob

Well I suppose you could, I wouldn't exactly be in a position to complain if you did, but do you really want to be a gay Englishman? You do realise you'd never be able to wear those awful plaid shirts again...

Well, I could and say I'd suddenly gone straight, decided to adopt an American accent, and wear midwestern-American clothing styles... actually, this is sounding a bit too ambitious for me.

[Melanie68]

Originally Posted by Squinky

Actually, I meant to imply that he was acting like an asshole rather than outright calling him one. But that aside, is it the word you have a problem with, or the sentiment? I'll be more than happy to change the word to a less offensive version, but the feeling still stands. I was insulted by his remark, and felt the need to point it out. Simple as that.

Both the word and the strong sentiment bother me (especially as a moderator). You can't really post in a vacuum here. If you don't want to hear others advice and need a public place to vent, you also have your own blog to do that on. You can also discuss what's going on in this blog thread, but to expect that no one is going to respond or maybe give you advice seems a little naive to me.

You could have easily said his remark felt insulting. There's a hell of a big difference in discussing how you're feeling (feeling insulted) and telling someone they're acting like an asshole. For this forum, I won't tolerate the latter. If Speck's posts really bother you that much, you can always put him on ignore.