[~Dr._Zoidberg~]

This is actually SamNMax. I don't like alt. accounts, but I can't make threads under my own name and I want anyone who has me on their ignore list to hear this.

I'm so sorry for acting so strange. One of my best friends died a week ago and I'm just not the same. I'm in shock and I just can't believe it. I don't know what to say. I wish I said this earlier so some of you could understand and help me out. If I didn't wait this long, I wouldn't be in the position I am right now. I said I didn't want to be apart of this "family" before, but it's what I need the most now. I hope you can all overlook my stupid behavior and give me a little support.I don't know if I can ever get over this. I know it sounds corny, but if life is a game, I don't feel like I can win. I don't think I've ever needed help this badly, and I never thought any of you could ever give me it. But now, I hope you can.

And on another note, don't hate me Tabacco. I was begging for this one, but now, I think I have a right to be "angsty." I've always felt a lot of tension between us and now, let me tell you that whatever shit I sturred up in the past, the present, or in the future, on your forums, I'm sorry about it.

I'm sorry. I wish I could take it back.

[Intrepid Homoludens]

(((((SNM)))))

EDIT: I'm sorry, I can't say anymore than a hug right now. I'm going through a horrible stint right now. big R hasn't come home. This is the second time he's done this, not coming home and NOT calling me to say he's all right. You have no idea how much I'm hurting right now, feels like he's punishing me for things I didn't do.

I'll post later for you, SNM.

[Lucien21]

Sorry to hear about your friend Sam

We all go through hard time and that is when we need friends and family the most.

I know everyone here is mostly just words on a screen and sometimes can feel like intangible friends that you don't really know.

However given half the chance most of the people here will go out of their way to help a fellow forumite.

A rare quality in this day and age.

Sorry if I snapped at you the other day and I understand what you might be going through having lost a friend myslef when I was about your age.

Heres to putting it all behind us and moving forward.

[Intrepid Homoludens]

I can't f#&king sleep!

I'm sorry, SNM. I didn't know. How could I, you never told me, never told us.

[AFGNCAAP]

I can't really speak on behalf of Tabs, but it is my understanding that any temporary retraction of some of our posting privileges is just that - temporary. A way to give you time to come to terms with yourself, if you prefer. You are welcome here. (If you weren't, the staff wouldn't take any "half-solutions" against you, I'm sure you are aware of that.)

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Hold on there, man.

[Hammerite]

Sam, I know how you feel.
A friend of mine who I knew since I was 4 died recently and I'm sorry to hear about your friend.

[Melanie68]

I'm really sorry about your friend. I'm never good at writing condolences but know that I'm thinking of you. Take care of yourself and remember there are lots of people turn to if you need it.

[Intrepid Homoludens]

It's funny, I'm hurting something awful right now in my life. But I shed a tear for SNM's hurting, too. It's like I'm suddenly this f#&king perpetual waterfall of tears for all the world's sadness all of a sudden.

Oh god, Melsie, how Buddhist of me.

[RLacey]

Sorry to hear about your troubles, SamNMax.

(((SNM)))

[Maquisard]

Wow, and here I was advocating the position that yours was normal behaviour, and that friendly jabs are the way to communicate with a hormones-gone-wild teenager.

I see now that I was wrong, that you actually have reasons for doing the things that you do, and that some of my "friendly jabs" may have been in bad taste.

Sorry, bro. I can't identify with how you must feel at this moment. I think that saying a prayer on your behalf is the most proactive thing I can do for you. Let me get to it.

Appriciate it.

[Fairygdmther]

Sam, hon, I'm sorry to hear about your friend's death. It's never easy, whether you're two or 102. You're never ready for it. One of the hardest parts is that you'll never get to talk to them again.

Give yourself room to think about your friend, and cry. Friends are very special people, and losing one is terrible. One thing that helps is to do something in your friend's name - like saying something nice to someone every day, and in your mind you will know you are doing it for your friend. It kinda helps you and it makes you know you'll never forget this person.

It will be a while before you stop thinking of your friend constantly, but you will "get used" to the fact of his/her death. But right now, you need to mourn. You need to cry and go over all the things in your mind that made him/her your friend. Take your time, and when you are ready to let go a bit, you'll know.

Come here and talk whenever you want - you DO have friends here, too.

Lynsie

[Toefur]

Sorry mate.

[SoccerDude28]

Hey Sam you have my condolences as well. I hope you feel better soon. It's really tough to lose someone you love. I know coz I have also lost someone special before. Hang in there.

[seebaruk]

Hey marra, I'm really sorry to hear about your loss. I lost two good friends at your age too. It's never easy to understand, but the most important thing to remember is that you have people who care about you. Take care matey, and here's hoping you have a good holiday.

[Manhunter71]

S&M - I know we havent really been close, and that I have posted some unsavoury age related comments about you, but right now I really feel for you
I had a friend who died in a car crash when I was in the sixth form at school so I have some idea about where you're at right now.

Luckily for me, I've had 15 years to get over it, and although I still miss her, I've been able to carry on and make something of my life, which I know she would have wanted me to do

I think that what I am trying to say is that no matter how bad you feel right now, things will get better - believe me


And, by the way, you should have just told us from the start what was going on in your life instead of acting the way you did and alienating yourself from 90% of the forum

[samIamsad]

Oh, boy. Life's an ass, k? Kick and scream and bring this mothafu**a down. I'd recommend to listen to Thursday's "Full collapse" but perhaps that's a bit too much EMO for you. It's an awesome album with an even more awesome song called "Understanding in a car crash" on it and has nothing to do with the crappy happy_college_boys_cash_in_on_faked_sadness formula (The "My girlfriend left me out in the cold and I'm so brooooken so I'm going to screaaaaaaam" crap) you associate with that kind of thing.

The broken watch you gave me turns into a compass
It's two hands still point to the same time 12:03, our last goodbye

Awesome.

Originally Posted by AFGNCAAP

I can't really speak on behalf of Tabs, but it is my understanding that any temporary retraction of some of our posting privileges is just that - temporary. A way to give you time to come to terms with yourself, if you prefer.

I highly doubt that.

I still can't get over this. I thought I would by now, but I just can't.

[Gknight]

Terribly sorry for the loss of your friend. Take care of yourself.

[Dasilva]

Maybe you should take a break. And let everything blow over.