[Intrepid Homoludens]

Trepsie plans to move to 'Frisco
Fa la la la la la la la la
Then you guys come and we'll disco
Fa la la la la la la la la

That big R, he's such an asshole
Fa la la la la laaa la la laaa
It's his loss, I'm gone - delightful!
Fa la la la laaa la la la laaa

[Maquisard]

Actually, I'm sorry, but no amount of cowbell can help this stink-bomb.

[RLacey]

Originally Posted by Mares

Actually, I'm sorry, but no amount of cowbell can help this stink-bomb.

It can, but they will need to explore the room.

[Fairygdmther]

Scottsie's got a brand new lover
Fa la laa la la laaa la la laaa
How it goes we'll soon discover
Fa la la laaa la la la laaa.

Trepsie's love has dumped him over
Fa la laa la la laa la la laaa
At Frisco Joe's he'll roll in clover
Fa la la la laa la la la laaa.

Ben and Mira love each other
Fa la laa la la laa la la laaa
Neither one will love another
Fa la la la laa la la la laaa.

Lynsie

[Sage]

Hey hey hey! Let's not jinx it! It's taken me almost forty years to find a vacation destination I like, and I don't want to have to give it up because someone there might come to hate my guts. If it happens, it happens...no pressure.

[Fairygdmther]

Originally Posted by Thrift Store Scott

Hey hey hey! Let's not jinx it! It's taken me almost forty years to find a vacation destination I like, and I don't want to have to give it up because someone there might come to hate my guts. If it happens, it happens...no pressure.

I'm sorry, I was just teasing you. I didn't mean to pressure you at all.

Lynsie

[Sage]

Originally Posted by Fairygdmther

I'm sorry, I was just teasing you. I didn't mean to pressure you at all.

Lynsie

I meant no pressure from my end, not from friends and family.
My Mom constantly says she just wants me to find a nice guy and settle down.
My co-workers are bound and determined to hook me up, and although their hearts are in the right place, they cannot remember "Scott's Rule Number One" to save their lives.

[samIamsad]

Originally Posted by Thrift Store Scott

My co-workers are bound and determined to hook me up, and although their hearts are in the right place, they cannot remember "Scott's Rule Number One" to save their lives.

"Do not fart in hot tubs?" , that means: *seriously* confused.

[Sage]

Originally Posted by samIamsad

"Do not fart in hot tubs?" , that means: *seriously* confused.

I thought I had posted my rules here before. My bad. Anyway, for future reference here they are-

Scott's Rules:
Number One- Guys seeking to be anything more than "just friends" with Scott must have discernible facial hair.
Number Two- Everything else is negotiable.

[Fairygdmther]

Originally Posted by Thrift Store Scott

I thought I had posted my rules here before. My bad. Anyway, for future reference here they are-

Scott's Rules:
Number One- Guys seeking to be anything more than "just friends" with Scott must have discernible facial hair.
Number Two- Everything else is negotiable.

I don't believe you've posted those before - at least I've not seen them. I suppose that you're safe saying that. Then if you should fall for a clean-shaven guy, you can always point to his eyebrows and lashes.

Lynsie

[Intrepid Homoludens]

Sheesh, my facial hair is still discernible after I shave.

[Sage]

Originally Posted by Fairygdmther

I don't believe you've posted those before - at least I've not seen them. I suppose that you're safe saying that. Then if you should fall for a clean-shaven guy, you can always point to his eyebrows and lashes.

Hehe! You sound like my co-workers!
Lashes and eyebrows are a given, and therefore do not count. I'm talking about moustaches, goatees, or beards.
Yes, I have been told many times that there are perfectly nice guys out there who shouldn't be eliminated simply because they happen to be clean-shaven, but I just can't bring myself to think of them in a naughty way.

[Fairygdmther]

Well, Trep, time to grow that Fu Manchu beard!

Lynsie

[Intrepid Homoludens]

Actually I can't. I've done goatees before but it can never grow to a Fu Manchu length. It simply curls and gets bushy.

Sometimes, though, if I'm in the mood (or too lazy ) I don't shave (except above the lips). I've been told I look particularly sexy with a five o'clock shadow and a shaved head (and I've been chased because of it ). Which is weird because I feel more....I dunno, dirty. Like I need to shave. LOL!

[Ninth]

Originally Posted by Intrepid Homoludens

Trepsie plans to move to 'Frisco
Fa la la la la la la la la

Completely off-topic.

Is Frisco the same as San Fransisco? That's what I had been assuming for some times, but then I discovered that there was an actual Frisco in California.
It reminds me of Hoagy Carmichael in "To have and have not".
"Where he says his home's in ('?)Frisco where they ship the rice, but it's really in Tennessee."

And also...
"I need someone to love me.
Need somebody to carry me home to San Fransisco, and bury my body there."
Burying of body aside, this seems appropriate.

[Intrepid Homoludens]

I'll be moving to San Francisco, but not to be buried .

[Jeysie]

Sounds like you're the exact opposite of me, Scott. While I have no problems with body hair (in fact, that's part of the reason I like redheads ), I just don't like facial hair.

Though admittedly it's less that I don't like the aesthetic of facial hair (a well-groomed moustache and/or beard can be very nice to look at) and more that every time I've kissed a bewhiskered fellow it has felt like kissing a steel wool pad. Bleh.

Getting back on topic, I could go on for pages why I dislike Christmas, but I'll try to limit myself to just one page. ;P

Number one: Crass commercialism.

I don't work in retail any more (thank the Powers), but I've spent several Christmases as a cashier, including two years at Toys R Us. And I've seen sides of people I never, ever wanted to see.

I think any dissertation on Christmas in Retail has to start with The Day After Thanksgiving, right?

I can remember at Toys R Us in particular, being forced to wake up at 4AM (and I am about as far away from being a morning person as you can possibly get, I should note, so that is just inhuman for me) to go to work for 5:30AM. Now, living as I do in Western MA, winter weather in the early morning is usually very dark and somewhere in the single Fahrenheit digits for temperatures. We're talking freakin' cold here. Yet I get there at 5:30, and there is already a huge crowd of people standing around waiting for the store to open at 6AM, and most of them got there long before I did.

So we have all these people, who have a day off, voluntarily waking up at ungodly hours to stand around for an hour and a half or more in single-digit temperature darkness for the sole purpose of... buying toys. Furthermore, when I pass these people to go in the door I have to open my coat and flash my nametag or they start getting ugly. (I'm serious about this, sadly!)

Then finally at 6AM we open the doors. And for those of you who are game show fans, it's like watching an episode of Supermarket Sweep. People literally running in the door!

And then from there it turns into a battle zone. I've seen employees (and customers) sporting bruises because somebody shoved them or even knocked them over. I've seen literal fistfights and screaming matches between customers. I've seen things like the Girls Toys' Department Head, who was one of the most genuinely friendly, cheerful, helpful, and sweet people I've ever known, getting screamed at by a customer and accused of "ruining Christmas for her sick child" because we sold out of some toy her kid wanted. (Right, like it's *our* fault that the customers buy the toys as fast as we put them on the shelves? )

Meanwhile I spend 12 hours standing behind my register ringing up an endless line of customers. And when it's all over we all get to spend another 2-3 hours cleaning up the utter carnage.

Of course, while The Day After Thanksgiving is the condensed flash point, this sort of behavior continues in fits and spurts until Christmas is over.

Of course, that only leads into Returns Week, where you get to spend a lot of time being screamed at by customers because of things like, why can't we return electronics without a receipt? (like this is a surprise?), why can't we return this Lego set that has no packaging whatsoever and is completely put together? (this actually happened), what do you mean you're a toy store and you're positive this set of power tools wasn't bought here?, etc, etc.

For a holiday that's supposedly about peace, love, and joy, it sure seems to turn people into ravening, rabid monsters from Hell.

Number two: Christmas Carols

OK, so, almost every retail store you go into, they're playing Christmas Carols. In fact, most of them play the same set of Carols... I guess they all buy their reels from the same company or something.

In fact, maybe you even work in a clothing store, like TJ Maxx. Which has a loop reel of 12 songs about a half-hour long. And you work 8 hours shifts, 5 days a week for the holiday. So you do the math. 8 hours = 16 half-hours. The music starts The Day After Thanksgiving up until Christmas Eve. So you figure, that's about 4 weeks, times 5 days a week, 20 days, times 16 half hours... you hear the same 12 songs 320 times. (No, seriously, this also actually happened.)

So then you go home and turn on the radio, and they're playing Christmas Carols. And you turn on the TV, and some stations take the holiday off, and they play Christmas Carols. And you hear your doorbell ring, and there's a group of people standing outside your door that sing Christmas Carols at you.

FOR THE FREAKIN' LOVE OF SANITY, MAKE IT STOP!!!11!!1

Number three: Pressure!

I'm the kind of person where, if I see something I think somebody I care for will like, I'll just buy it for them and give it to them, even if there's no special occasion. If my friend's been saying he wants Virtual Butt-Kickers From Hell 23.125 for the X-Box 3600 but can't find it, and I happen to see it on a shelf one day for not too much money, I'll just buy it and give it to him just because.

So, for me, Christmas is nothing but a big pressure-cooker where suddenly I have to buy a gift for someone, even if I don't currently have the money or I currently have no idea what to get for them. Multiplied by all my friends and family at the same time.

Even worse is that they all have to buy me something too, sometimes leading to situations where I bought someone a lame gift or no gift at all just because I couldn't think of what to get them or I didn't have the money (I mean, I worked in retail, it pays s***), which makes me feel guilty and horrible, and then they buy me a really awesome gift, so then I really, really feel really guilty and horrible. Which of course is the whole reason that Reason Number One up there with people turning into rabid beasts even happens, because everyone else has the same problem.

Number Four: Disruption.

OK, so. The buses don't run, so I can't go anywhere. The stores all close, so I can't buy anything. My job is closed, and while that does mean a day off, it also means that work is going to get backed up so when my job opens again I'm going to have a gigantic pile of many days' worth of work to do instead of the usual smaller and less-horrifying daily pile. Regular shows are preempted for Christmas Specials, marathons, or Christmas Carols. Radio is all Christmas Carols. Oh, and then there's all the parties and visits you have to coordinate. For someone like me who thrives on routine and hates surprises and spontaneous stuff, the holidays produce a desire to crawl into a straightjacket and cry.

I could go on further, really, but this rant is more than long enough already...

Peace & Luv, Liz

[samIamsad]

Originally Posted by Jeysie

I'm the kind of person where, if I see something I like somebody will like, I'll just buy it for them and give it to them, even if there's no special occasion.

<official proposal>Marry me!!!!!1 </official proposal>

[Jeysie]

SadSam:

Well, you see, with this whole gift-buying thing, too bad I have no idea what you might like. And no money. Because it's Christmas, natch, and I had to spend all my money on forced gift-buying. You understand, I'm sure.

anyway, though! Do you want me anyway?

Peace & Luv, Liz

[RLacey]

*adds two more names to the Official AG Partnersâ„¢ list*