[squarejawhero]

That's right! Drinking stories. However, this thread, and it's important, isn't about alcoholism. Whilst I realise it's important to mention for the kids drinking is bad for you and can become addictive (for various reasons), leading to alcoholism, this thread is about the sort of story where you start -

"OMFG I got so drunk last night I woke up next to an ostrich" or something.

Not that this has ever happened to me. It's also for I-got-so-drunk I nearly killed myself stories. Like this one!

Take one wine advisor named SJH at Oddbins. Add another chum. Add a wine tasting evening. When they're suitably merry, mix in some more friends arriving from another wine tasting evening with more wine. Mix red and white wine and watch the results.

When they're ready, get an inebriated mate with a credit card, and head off into Wimbledon Village to a wine bar. Add small amounts of snacks, more wine, a couple of pints. Stir in some champagne. Aaaaand relaaaxxxx...

By now your wine advisor should be so drunk that any form of coherence is completely lost. He should somehow find his way home to an angry girlfriend, as he's forgotten to call her.

By now, your wine advisors stomach should be asking to empty itself.

REPEATEDLY.

EVEN WHEN IT'S EMPTY and there can't be anything else in there except human innards.

For a dash of embaressment, take some fresh sprigs of ambulance. Your wine advisor, still incredibly drunk despite continuous vomiting, will resemble a pathetic mess of sick, dribble and half-digested food.

This might not mix well with the paramedics, who may mock you mercilessly, get angry and leave in a fit.

For the next 24 hours, said wine advisor will not be able to eat or digest anything, even water.

... and that's the LAST TIME I'VE EVER GOT DRUNK. As in really drunk. I get tizzy now, but boy, after that, I'm careful!

C'mon, what's your story?

[Melanie68]

As mentioned in the Absinthe thread - Jack Daniels.

I helped type a paper for an ex-boyfriend. As a thank you, he gave me a fifth of Jack Daniels. Later that night I opened it and started making Jack and Cokes (I had never had whiskey before). I proceeded to get very drunk, get sick numerous times (toilet, sink) and managed to

Spoiler:

sleep with someone I normally wouldn't have slept with.

Managed to get sick even more and wake up the next morning with the worst hangover of my life and I still regret that night. I could have killed myself had I not gotten sick and gotten rid of it.

Seven years later I thought I'd try a Jack and Coke one more time. The bartender managed to fill the glass 3/4 of the way with Jack and the rest Coca-cola. I had two of those and got extremely drunk but not to the extent as before. No embarassment on that night and I have never had that CRAP again and I have never gotten that drunk again. That swore me off whiskey as well.

*shudder* to think of it now. And my lesson has been learned.

Edit: I hope someone else posts cuz SJH and I are going to look bad if you don't.

[wael]

I have 135 stories like these (I spent 6 years in the navy and sailed directly to Ukraine after that) how should I begin, chronologically, the most dangerous, the most disgusting, the most sexual?

[Fairygdmther]

Start anywhere you like! In any order...We love good stories!

Lynsie

[squarejawhero]

Disgusting is a good start.

I'm trying to remember my student days. Oh... the... lack of memories. Like the time I drank a bottle of gin (already drunk) with a bunch of other students. Couldn't get the taste out of my mouth for a week.

I've also had a nasty prank pulled on me once, but it was funny. Every had a pint of dishwater?

[saucyminx]

I can get high on coffee...

[SCRUGAtes13]

Originally Posted by Melanie68

Edit: I hope someone else posts cuz SJH and I are going to look bad if you don't.

well what if you had done something so bad that you just couldn't post it because it might hurt a certain someones feelings? don't feel bad about experience (or EP for the dedicated AG), it is a vital part of who you are now. chin up.

here's one story about drink. when me and nutty went cyprus we bought a large bottle of vodka and a large bottle of ouzo about half way into the holiday. there were many bars and restaurants and such but we still didn't get drunk once. not even once. it was only me who had a little bit of the stuff and afterwards i read a passage of Treasure Island to nutty before bed, then we went to sleep.

but don't get me wrong the holiday was great but WTF?! is this normal behaviour for people our age? i want to wake up next to an ostrich for christs sake!

[samIamsad]

The amazing student days?

Oh je, da war mal so 'ne oberpeinliche Geschichte an irgend 'nem Sylvester. Eigentlich war's ziemlich nett, so insgesamt. Bis zum verhängnisvollen Wodka.Brechreiz an der Theke. Nicht gut für ein paar Menschlein, die um einen rumstehen. War aber irgendwie dann leider Campusgespräch. Konnte den Laden danach nicht mehr betreten, ohne darauf angesprochen zu werden. Ach was, so schlimm war's dann doch nich'. Trotzdem...

(Sorry, but this one's just too awkward to tell it in a way that you'd even understand it.).

[SCRUGAtes13]

what's a Menschlein?

[squarejawhero]

You must've been drunk, as Babelfish has been infected by your alcohol-fuelled camaraderie-

Oh ever, there was times so ' ne upper-embarrassing history on possibly ' nem Sylvester. Actually war's rather nicely, so altogether. Up to the fatal Wodka.Brechreiz at the bar. Not well for a few people flax, which around a rumstehen. However somehow then unfortunately was Campusgespraech. Could not the shop any longer enter without to it to be responded. Oh which, so badly war's then nevertheless nich '. Nevertheless...

[SCRUGAtes13]

i used a much better translator than you but it seemed mine was also a bit screwed. just post it sam, and tell me what the hell a Menschlein is!

[samIamsad]

Originally Posted by SCRUGAtes13

what's a Menschlein?

Cutiefication (is that even a proper noun? what the heck! I don't care! ) of the noun Mensch (human). Like ,errr <trep>humansie</trep>, or something.

Originally Posted by squarejawhero

You must've been drunk, as Babelfish has been infected by your alcohol-fuelled camaraderie-

OH yes.

Spoiler:

And other people had to suffer when I felt the urge to throw u.... Their clothes, too. There, I said it. Remember, like I said, this happened at the big New Year's eve party at our campus pub (RIP).

[Ninth]

I was in a trip in China with my parents. Last stop was Hong Kong.
For a few days, I had taken the habit of going down to the hotel bars with another youth from the group, and we would drink a little.
But that last day, I overdid it. Really. (Vodka+Baileys, Pina Colada, Tequila, and then Vodka+Baileys again)

So the next morning my father woke me up banging on my hotel door. I opened the door in a haze, and he said: what are you doing, it's almost noon? And... eww!! "What's that smell? Did you throw up?" And I said "no!" But I was wrong, of course, as we both realise quickly.
Anyway, so we took of to visit the city because I was felling almost ok. Well, serious hangovers and boats (to cross to Hong Kong) don't get along well, and to make a long story short, we had to get back to the hotel veeery fast, and I spend the day lying down in a bed in a hotel room, unable to move a finger without feeling atrocious pain in my stomach. Of course, that was the room where every other person in the group had stored their luggage, which means that they all could see me in my misery. And my parents weren't happy. Oh no...
I think it took me 12 hours to get better.

That the most extreme story I have. Usually I keep my control quite well.

[RLacey]

I feel very isolated from this thread, because I don't like alcohol and so don't get drunk, and thus have none of these amusing stories to tell ...

[Melanie68]

Originally Posted by RLacey

I feel very isolated from this thread, because I don't like alcohol and so don't get drunk, and thus have none of these amusing stories to tell ...

Consider yourself lucky. It wasn't fun.

I would direct this to Jeysie as well. Too much alcohol-and you can do stupid things.

[Sage]

Originally Posted by Melanie68

Consider yourself lucky. It wasn't fun.

I would direct this to Jeysie as well. Too much alcohol-and you can do stupid things.

Heed those wise words from a wise woman. She knows whereof she speaks.
Every time I drink tequila, I'm overcome with the uncontrollable urge to do my Linda Ronstadt impression. Me singing "Silver Threads And Golden Needles" is a sight people don't soon forget, nor will they let me forget it either.
Kids, don't let this happen to you.

ScottMate

[Huz]

Originally Posted by RLacey

I feel very isolated from this thread, because I don't like alcohol and so don't get drunk, and thus have none of these amusing stories to tell ...

Vodka and coke, man.

Just don't try vodka and coffee, it's a killer. I don't get drunk enough to do things I regret - luckily(?) I vomit all over the place before I get to that stage, so as I am quite keen to avoid being sick all over my friends I avoid drinking too much - but the closest I ever got was after cleverly putting some Polish vodka in my coffee. In Poland.

I couldn't drink coffee for weeks, even the smell had somehow associated itself with badness in my mind.

[C_Knight]

This past May 24 I went on a Montreal Road Trip for a rave event with complete strangers that I had met from some online community. The first night we got there we all drank, but I drank ALOT, and became totally wasted. We decided to hit a local club and that's where it all started....now I'm a very outrageous person normally...imagine what happens to me when drunk...and the funny thing is, is that I was a bit shy around these people at first, so alcohol was perfect to boost my confidence. Anyways...at the club, there were sooo many beautiful french women that I decided to touch EVERY SINGLE one on the arm with my finger....and then lick it...and so the process continued...it was an old fashioned "finger food tasting before you buy" kinda of situation hahaha. If that wasn't bad enough, a funky house tune started playing that I knew (Deep Dish - Flashdance, a ripoff of Shandi - He's A Dream, from the Flashdance soundtrack) and I started singing along to it to a couple of women...grinding up against them singing "He doesn't mean a thing to me...just another girl he faced to see...he's all over town knocking em down my honey, and I'd never let em next to meee" while making a move with my dance moves lol After that, I decided to dance like a horny stripper/raper with one of the pillars on the dance floor....according to my friends, I would make a great go-go dancer/stripper...I made love to that poor pillar. One of my friends got really tanked, so they decided to call it quits...and I was getting really busy with tons of women too lol...so we got back to the hotel room...and everyone went to sleep, but I was way too buzzed to go to sleep so I decided to crawl on the floor and I started serenating to everyone, exclaiming where the french girls went who were supposed to be in my hotel room, even though they didn't exist. My friends kept pestering me to go to bed, and I crawled up to one of them, and I was telling her how much I loved her pink heels, and how they looked good on her. Eventually I forced myself into bed, but the next morning I felt horrible. It wasn't a hangover...but the alcohol decided to leave my body through a different way...and so I went to the washroom, bombed it, for some reason left the lid down, and went back to sleep. When I woke up again they were saying how they had to get scented candles for the washroom because no one would go in there because of some unknown culprit...oops lol...later on I told them it was me...

To this day I am still known as Cribby the wall raper, and it has become a club routine of mine hehe

[smashing]

My stories ain't that exciting. Just that I'd gotten drunk on two occasions, each one ending up with me calling a cab back home, only to break the metallic handle of the front gate each time. Till now, I still don't know how I did it. And most amazingly, I did it twice!

smashing

[samIamsad]

Originally Posted by smashing

I still don't know how I did it.

You're said to be complicated! Seems like your nick suits you really well, well... I'm now officially unemployed. I feel like drinking and throwing up all day and night. Meet me at the Big Bear Inn at 14 PM!