[Hintergrund]

What are your bad jokes in adventure games? Jokes that are so bad, you just forget to laugh. Let me know yours, here is my personal top 10. There is some spoiler alert here, but I also want to warn you for some of these bad jokes.

10. "Igor: Objective Uikokahonia" (I had to look that one up)

Here you must spy from your room with binoculars. Off course here you can see everything but you can't hear what they are saying, so what does that fake indy say to you?
"it is a good thing I took those lip reading lessons"
harharhar

9. "innocent until caught part 2"

I played this more than 10 years ago, but I just can't forget. There is that overused escape-from-the-prison-element and off course you may not be noticed by the one that locked you up. You can walk into her cockpit, but the main protagonist will just say something like, don't know it exactly but>
"She may get upset that I broke out of her puny little prison"

The point is, you may expect 10.000 reasons not to walk into her room, but I personally think this is no excuse.

8. "JERK orlando"

this game so illogical, and I hate everything in this game like this quarreling with Biff just to obtain a crank, just to lower some steps, just to get to the roof, just to find the only clue in the very first part; the cliché matches-evidence that leads to some bar only a few blocks away from his own street. Anyway, when you climb down, the chief will arrive. he will ask you what you were doing on the roof, and you can answer this:

"I am just doing some leg exercise"

really, the way Orlando says this is pathetic

7 "the 40 screens to the right in the hall of records in The Neverhood"
no comment here

6 "so you want to be a hero"
even when you have selected the thief, even then Bruno is not on your side. He will say things like "crusher is good guy, give him a firm tap on his shoulder for me and the thieves guild is located at the cemetery, and you must go there at night. Off course, the experienced player knows that none of this is true and what will happen if you do. but when you first play it, you are fooled and I couldn;t laugh about it.

5 "space quest, the desert in ulence flats (ulence flats LOL)"
Well if progamming is so limited, why do you have to die when you walk only one screen away from that place, why not give me a subtle warning? I don't know how far I can explore away from the city, how am I supposed to know? You walk only one screen away and some green sand dragon will gobble you up. It is stupid and the designers are probably laughing their .... off.

4 "larry 6, shape up or slip out"
The game is full of stupid jokes, but Al Lowe went way too far with his (expletive)thing, you know, what larry can do with the brochure and the hand cream in his glass toilet. Even that is not so stupid because it is only suggestive, but what will follow up is. On top of that, it a direct "game over"

3 "Princess Mariko"

doesn't sound familiar eh? well it is actually the girl you must save in Karateka. It is not really an adventure, but the joke here made me sad for a long time. You know, this girl is not so defenseless as you may think. She could have escaped from the clutces of evil herself! Okay it goes like this, you go fighting and fighting at a snails pace, and finally when you are about to jump into her arms.. please do try to run into her in "attack mode".. see how defenseless she really is, and see how she can take you out in one hit. Wow, what a joke. Again, it is not specifically an adventure game joke, but I wanted to mention this one.


2 "stupid invaders"
I can fill in 100 slots with worst jokes just from stupid invaders, but one is insult to injury. THE SNAIL JOKE!! No comment here, but I would like to warn you for it. Do not play it, please do not try to find out! Leave it be!


can it get any worse than this? yes it can...(drumroll)

1 "Al Ammo"

Somehow the developers succeeded in copying a larry game. All the jokes are just as stupid to me, some are really astounding like the irish guy in the pub that seems to be even smaller that Al. "hey you cannot hit me? -or something along that line-
But there is something I wish I never heard it, I wish I could wipe it from my mind, because I will never forget it, never.

KOKO's cola!!!

it's... it's so stupid.. why not replace this retard with a kkk man, and call it Ku-Klux Kola or something. Oww gawd... sigh.

well, I will be very pleased to read your worst jokes. See if it can get worse than mine, so I can forget that koko's cola tomfoolery.

ps. forgive my broken english I am from some underdeveloped european country .

[Terramax]

Just about any joke, or what sounded remotely like a joke from The Longest Journey fell flat on its face. Mainly because April didn't seem like a character who could ever have a sense of humour.

The Watchmaker, the actual game itself, is probably the biggest joke ever, only that the joke was on me for actually spending something like £5 on it.

The Westerner/ Wanted: A Western Adventure - bar the first ten minutes, the game never made me laugh. It had some fun visual moments and plot setups, but the dialog itself just wasn't up to much.

I imagine if I played Runaway: A Road Adventure again I'd find one or two bad jokes. Then again, maybe trying to find a joke in Runaway would be harder than trying to pixel find the right items.

Sorry but I can't seem to think of any jokes in particular. Mainly because I've tried to blank these games from ever existing.

Apparently Simon the Sorcerer 3D was known for its suggestive sexual jokes that fell flat?

[Fien]

Originally Posted by Hintergrund

2 "stupid invaders"
I can fill in 100 slots with worst jokes just from stupid invaders, but one is insult to injury. THE SNAIL JOKE!! No comment here, but I would like to warn you for it. Do not play it, please do not try to find out! Leave it be!

I loved Stupid Invaders, including most (but not all) jokes. I don't want to to think about what that says about my sense of humor...

But the Snail joke... hm, do you mean traversing the maze on a sloooooow snail? Are you sure the joke isn't on you? That is the FASTEST snail in the whole wide world if you know how to speed him up.

[Thello]

Runaway: A Road Adventure had, in my mind, the least funny sacks of crap I've seen. The transvestites are the absolute worst.

[Thaurin]

Originally Posted by Thello

Runaway: A Road Adventure had, in my mind, the least funny sacks of crap I've seen. The transvestites are the absolute worst.

Finally something I can agree with. Too bad, because the game's format is gold: 2D hand-drawn point-and-click.

[ozzie]

I thought the transvestites were the best thing about the game.
Overall, the whole third chapter was, except some pixel hunting and the weird sunglass with oil puzzle, a design masterpiece in my opinion.
The rest couldn't live up to it, though.

Bad jokes...either I forgot those or I never played a game with anti-humour.
Wait....a vague memory comes into the front light. It's an envelope. I guess I should open it. I pull out the piece of paper. I look at it and read the words...........
.........
...........
Larry 1 VGA Remake.

Well, it wasn't that bad, but also not funny at all.
The most stupid thing were the age questions, though. They were specific on the american culture and just not up-to-date anymore ten years later.

Nevertheless, I liked Freddy Pharkas. Sometimes Al Lowe does have good sense of humour. It's probably just a rare occurence.

[QFG]

Hmm... I laughed at all the jokes in TLJ. Go figure.

Well, horses for courses.

[stepurhan]

Originally Posted by ozzie

Nevertheless, I liked Freddy Pharkas.

A nice joke right at the begining. Solving the "puzzle" of opening the pharmacy.

Not really a spoiler

Spoiler:

Use the key in your starting inventory

earns you half the points in the game straight off. So much for the old trick of working out how much of the game is left by how many points you can still get.

I also liked the out-takes section in the closing titles, especially the one where Freddy fluffs one of the in-game stunts and cries out for "Workers' comp!!"

[vivasawadee]

Originally Posted by ozzie

Larry 1 VGA Remake.

Well, it wasn't that bad, but also not funny at all.
The most stupid thing were the age questions, though. They were specific on the american culture and just not up-to-date anymore ten years later.

Nevertheless, I liked Freddy Pharkas. Sometimes Al Lowe does have good sense of humour. It's probably just a rare occurence.

Al Lowe is like a few Americans I know who are loud, boisterous and haven't been to a gym since grade school. They spout a lot lot of jokes and many are crap but there are always a few good ones somewhere. Safety in numbers I guess.

However I will always be grateful for Al for bringing into the world the Larry series.

[QFG]

haven't been to a gym since grade school

Ooooooh, low blow, low blow!

[Ariel Type]

Delaware St. John. Just finished the 3rd chapter, and still can't believe how stupid all the dialog lines are. Characters always try to be "funny" (in a sort of serious game), but the "jokes" are so lame, idiotic and out of place.. Can't think of a worth example. Well, the series are total crap anyway, so - who cares?

[jacog]

I thought most of the humour in Ankh was pretty bad, but figured that if you're a German teenager you'd still find them funny, so didn't hold it against them.

Al Emmo, on the other hand... yeesh!

[ozzie]

I played the Jack Keane demo.
While the first chapter was very fun and funny, the second one fell flat.
The humor just tried so hard. They wanted to be funny, but it didn't fit and they couldn't pull it off convincingly.
Ankh is from the same developers, so I can see how you couldn't like the humor.

[Risingson]

Bad Tucker. It has the worst jokes of all gathered.

Monkey Island has, anyway, my favourite bad joke: the "conspiratetion" pun, or however it was written in its original language.

[QFG]

Hmmmm... I don't remember that one. How does it go?

[NemelChelovek]

"And you know the only type of piracy I dislike: CONS-piracy." Something to that effect.