[Wormsie]

I'm trying to get to Helsinki University of Technology. It should be easy peasy, because I rule.

[Mattsius]

Originally Posted by deadworm222

I'm trying to get to Helsinki University of Technology. It should be easy peasy, because I rule.

Mr. Modest himself. As I said before, you're too good at school.

[Kolzig]

Originally Posted by deadworm222

I'm trying to get to Helsinki University of Technology. It should be easy peasy, because I rule.

So what are you going to study there?

My friend was studying Physics&Information technology there, but he got bored and changed to Helsinki University Physics department.

[Wormsie]

I could walk into Helsinki University any day.

And see my journal if you call me Mr. Modest...

I was thinking about Acoustics.

[James]

First Year Law Exams in precisely one month. Apparently, according to older students, it's impossible to fail. This is good news. I will my materials covered entirely this week, hopefully in the earlier half. Then it's just a matter of sitting down and rote learning, something I've not done for a while. 3 weeks to revise and revive information that's been passively accumlating. I am insane, but at the same time, I see now with perfect clarity myself.

I am staring to feel at peace. Progress is being made in all respects. I have picked myself up from my stumble a while ago, and now stand tall. Easter was good for me, an affirmation of faith. The incident with my laptop pronounced to me the stakes, and Friday night reminded me of the reward. The interim has been filled with law, so too the immediate future. To the summer!

Love,
James

[Intrepid Homoludens]

This purgatory is frustrating! I feel as if my state keeps getting extended just a bit every time. All I want is to live simply and know that I've wisely edited out the consumeristic superficialities of life and living that so many others seem to depend too much on - cell phones, overbooking social functions, designer this n thats, overexposure to media bullshit, politics, materialities, sophistries. Living is so damned expensive, no matter how frugal. I don't like this kind of society. Enjoying a smile and meaningul exchanges of ideas and experiences are free, and yet the advertisements keep telling you that you need this brand of cell phone or this new pricey SUV or pair of jeans to do so. I don't subscribe to that crap, but I'm still struggling. It's a conundrum. I'm poor, ultimately by choice. This is definitely one way to prevent falling into traps.

I like my new job a lot, and I feel it may finally help me out of the retail pit and move up towards customer service not involving selling anything. The smile I have when greeting visitors at the aquarium really is truly genuine, and it gives me satisfaction. I have this suspicion that this is where my profession lies ultimately - making people happy. But not in a consumeristic way, more in a humanitarian way. We'll see. I do plan on applying for volunteer work this summer, seems like I'll be feeling my way through.

[Kolzig]

It's great when you are 21 and your jaw bones say "krhrk!"

This just shows how dangerous candy is, I was sometime ago eating candy and my jaws just popped out of tracks.

Yesterday evening my jaws just kind of jammed, and my mouth doesn't open normally at the moment, there's no problem talking, but when I try to eat something, it hurts like hell on the right side of my jaw.

Tomorrow I'm going to see a specialist and hopefully that person can help me on my situation...

It's just frustrating that I seem to collect these serious injuries constantly.

[Mattsius]

Ouch, that doesn't sound very nice. Hope the specialist can help you.

Okay kids, this is a good example of what happens if you eat candy. Candy is bad, m'kay.

[Jake]

My office used to be infested with some sort of flies nest. And then when those left a skunk died outside work under the deck. The flies are gone, and the skunk has either completely rotted or been dragged away, but I have a triple deadline this week (I work at a small publishing place that puts out 3 different monthly crappy community newspaper, all of them have different content which I assemble and edit and all go out over the course of one week a month) and instead of working on it I'm browsing these forums, and being distracted by the thumb.

[Swordmaster]

I attended my first spinning session ever at a health club, recommended by a friend of mine who also took part to the exercise. It was quite fun (and exhausting!). Afterwards, under the influence of endorphin, I joined the club. I ought to go there a couple of times a week now... Let's see how it goes.

[remixor]

It's eight billion degrees here right now, so I'm sitting in my chair just wearing boxers and sandals with the windows open and a completely ineffectual fan making noise.

Originally Posted by Jake

instead of working on it I'm browsing these forums, and being distracted by the thumb.

I can relate

[Kingzjester]

Though thumbs are fascinating things (I mean, wtf) I've personally been hindered by headache. I think I have the mad cow disease.

[Wormsie]

Originally Posted by Kingzjester

Though thumbs are fascinating things (I mean, wtf) I've personally been hindered by headache. I think I have the mad cow disease.

I used to think so too, when I was nine! Back then I also had HIV, various cancers and syphilis... Ah, those were the days!

[Wormsie]

This is for all of you who have to do your military service.

I have stopped being afraid of it.

Why?

Because the other day I talked to my brother about it. He had done his service some years ago. He said that it was, get this, much easier than elementary school. Of course, I don't know what your elementary school was like, but mine was a rather strange place. When I saw a documentary about violence in schools yesterday, I remembered those good old days there... Seriously, I don't think many adults could even handle the elementary school of today. Teachers can't handle it. We are tough. Military is child's play compared to elementary school.

Oh, wait. I just said that kids had a hard time. So, let me change that.

Military is adult's play when compared to elementary school. You even get edible food in the military.

[redhotray]

Happy.

Confused.

Vibrant.

Thwarted.

I think that pretty much sums me up in a nutshell right now. It seems like one day, I have the World at my feet, I can do anything, absail, bungee jump, finish a manuscript, direct a film, chat up any girl in the bar. I feel so confident and so energetic, I feel as if I can do anything I set my mind too.

Then the next day, I'm depressed, I suffer from anxiety, and I feel so alone, so very alone. It's as if the World has turned it's back on me, almost as soon as it's tapped me on the shoulder, smiling at me. It's as if I've been given a small taste of the perfect lifestyle, and then I've been shown the door for overindulging.

Who am I, and where am I supposed to be going. Am I making the right choices in life? Should I be looking away when the chance for promotion in an office job I've grown to hate, reers it's ugly head? Am I ungreatful, knowing that I earn more than so many other thousands upon millions of other people out there in the World, today, yet I complain about my job? Why is it that I rely so heavily on job satisfaction, and that I'm willing to trade almost everything I own for it?

I love the social aspect of my job. I love interacting with the people I see on a day to day basis, I like to help them if I can, and I have no reservations about doing so. I've been doing the job for three years, and although I am still happy to help, I feel drained, and sapped. It's as if, the whole cycle of 9 to 5 has just brought me down to a stage where I don't feel challenged, and therefore I don't feel of any use. I don't have the same passion I once did, when I clocked in every morning, now I just can't wait to get out of the door, having collected my paycheck, ready to spend it.

I don't want it to be that way. It's as if I'm agreeing that life is money, and that there should be no amount of pain or suffering or depression that we shouldn't go through to get it. Sure, I want to be rich, I want to be able to have money to provide for my family the way I'd like for them to be provided. I'd like to be able to afford to give my child the presents he/she wants at Christmas, and treat my wife to all of the luxuries she deserves.

I just don't want to feel so defeated and so out of control of my own actions in order for those things to happen.

Work is work, that is true. But it takes up such a substansial portion of our lives, and life is for living, not just getting by. We came into this World, knowing that we have a timer above our heads, indicating an inevitable final hour. Every second we live and breathe is precious, and therefore, it should not be so easily squandered away through mindless, trivial things, that we have no desire to be involved in.

I have no job satisfaction, but day by day, I can feel the effects of my job, chipping away at my dreams, trying to black them out of my heart and mind forever, rendering me into complacency.

It makes me so f***ing sick! Yet through a lack of concentration and motivation, due to such long, excruciating, draining days at the office, I feel powerless to do anything about it!

I am a victim, of catch 22!

[Mattsius]

Originally Posted by deadworm222

You even get edible food in the military.

The food we had in my school back in my elementary school days was in fact very edible, or better. But I guess that varies from school to school.

[Intrepid Homoludens]

I have a cold today. I felt it coming, the past two days my throat was sore. This morning I called in sick at work and asked to reschedule to make up for it. I could easily have jumped out of bed, showered, and be there by 8.30am, but the thought of sniffling, coughing, and blowing my nose all day in public while greeting visitors, checking tickets, and answering questions was not the best idea. Besides, I don't want to pass my cold onto other people, much less their kids. Not good customer service.

I feel as if I'm still in limbo. One of my good friends (who years ago wanted to fall in love with me and I wouldn't let him, I still feel some guilt) called me yesterday to coax me out to dinner, but I had to turn him down, bless him. We hadn't seen each other in almost a year, and though I miss him I didn't want him to catch my oncoming cold. I was too settled in, anway. He told me how he was still looking for someone to be with, and he's still dating around. At least he's active, I'm incapacitated. I told him to go get a beer somewhere and then treat himself to dinner. Seems like something is preventing me from fully getting on with myself.

[Wormsie]

I saw the weirdest dream last night.

First: Russian nuns. Two of them. They were walking in the front yard of my home, muttering in Russian and drawing crosses in the air with their hands. I asked my mother why they were there, but I don't remember what she responded, something about a blessing of some sort.

Then nuns were ugly and old and wore those black dress thingies nuns wear.

Then the nuns went into the house. For some reason I followed them. Inside, I opened the door to the loo, and the other nun was in there with her back facing me (just moving about - fully dressed - doing nothing special). I closed the door.

I went to the kitchen, where the other nun was just being seated to the place at the table where I usually sat, and she started to eat. My mother said something to this effect to me: "The nun is eating your steak now. She was supposed to eat this fish soup, but she only speaks Russian and she's a guest so we can't make her stop. It's too late anyway. You may have the soup." Devastated that a nun was eating my dinner, I poured some soup into the bowl, took a spoon, and prodded the soup. There was a banana in there.

Then, suddenly I was standing in the living room. The curtains were drawn, and Kingzjester was standing two metres or so in front of me, in a checkered blue collar shirt. Anyway. He said looked me in the eyes, and said with a calm voice: "It's your own fault the nun ate your steak", and promptly walked past me to the kitchen. He sat at the table - (other people seated were my father, mother and brother. And the nun, of course) - and started to eat my soup.

(I don't know if he ate the banana.)

Then I woke up.

I have just one question:

What did that all mean?

Please comment on this.

[Kingzjester]

I hate seafood, so I probably did eat the banana. Sorry.

[Wormsie]

I was in a rather sad, desperate and disturbed state when I went to bed. So maybe it means that Kingz is sad, desperate and disturbed.

Nah... He wears a panama hat, after all.

What it probably does mean is that I secretly dislike bananas.