[omloflump]

Here's a nicely asinine thread stolen from the recently mentioned I'm Sorry, I Haven't A Clue: each person posts a line of a standard five-line limerick. An example stolen from wikipedia:

On the breast of a barmaid named Gail,
Were tattoo'd the prices of ale.
And on her behind,
for the sake of the blind,
was the same, but written in Braille.

I think it would work best if we stuck relatively closely to that sort of metre. Also, everyone's restricted to one line per limerick. Apologies if this has already been done here.

EDIT: The first lines of limericks always send a chill up my spine. The fact that I instigated it here will make this even harder to live down. (I should also note that they don't have to start with "There once was a man named...", but it's good for an initial test.)

[omloflump]

There once was a man named Heath,

[Jatsie]

Whose pork-sword was in need of a sheath,

[Squinky]

He went to the fair,

[Jelena]

With flowers in his hair,

[AFGNCAAP]

But the rednecks he met broke his teeth.

[Squinky]

Next!

There once was a lady from Frisco,

[Sage]

Who was known to hang out at a disco.

[rlpw]

she danced all night long

[Jatsie]

wearing naught but a thong

[AFGNCAAP]

‒ Didn't make her more sexy than a cisco.

Spoiler:

Sorry, Scott, I had to undelete your post to save the rhyme.

On to next one, then:

[AFGNCAAP]

One amazingly fat man from Berlin

[rlpw]

couldn't figure where he'd been

[Squinky]

He woke up one morning,

[rlpw]

From a full night of snoring

[Jelena]

And discovered he'd turned into a drag queen.

[Squinky]

Some day, when the moment is right,

[Panthera]

A woman lies down with the night

[Maquisard]

and she passionately sighs

[Jatsie]

and opens her thighs