Pasteurise, Pasteurise, Pasteurise.

You now have milk for your mroning coffee. Unfortunately, a new law has just been passed banning coffee as a hazardous stimulant. As you are harbouring a supply of this now banned substance, you are in breach of this law and subject to immediate arrest. In an especialy unfortunate turn, a mix-up in the paperwork means you are assigned to report on the proceedings for the issue of the warrant for your own arrest.

I wish that I hadn't bashed my left knee on the five at St Leonards on Thursday.

Spoiler:

The five in question is a church bell whose weight is roughly equivalent to that of eight full-grown men. When you accidentally swing your knee into it, it doesn't move a great deal, nor is it made of soft yielding sponge.

Pasteurise, Pasteurise, Pasteurise.

You now have milk for your mroning coffee. Unfortunately, a new law has just been passed banning coffee as a hazardous stimulant. As you are harbouring a supply of this now banned substance, you are in breach of this law and subject to immediate arrest. In an especialy unfortunate turn, a mix-up in the paperwork means you are assigned to report on the proceedings for the issue of the warrant for your own arrest.

I wish that I hadn't bashed my left knee on the five at St Leonards on Thursday.

Spoiler:

The five in question is a church bell whose weight is roughly equivalent to that of eight full-grown men. When you accidentally swing your knee into it, it doesn't move a great deal, nor is it made of soft yielding sponge.

Bong-Crack!
Your left knee is now fine. The right one, however, is a mess because the five and the rest of the bells fell on it.

I wish I had all the puzzles done for a certain up-coming game tournament.

You managed to get all the puzzles done for that certain upcoming game tournament for this fall.
Unfortunately, your puzzles and riddles are brought to life on Halloween and are forcing all people on the planet (well, maybe except babies! who can't type on a computer of course. Oh, and our pets! ) to enter your adventure game tournament ! A real horror for non-adventure gamers, ain't it ?! :D


I wish the new recipee I'll try tommorow will be yummy!

Mixbakeserve.

The new recipe you try is yummy. Unfortunately, that turns out to an acronym for Your Uneatable Manky Mess, Yuck.

I wish I could retune my satellite box to pick up Scuzz again.

Your cable/satellite provider changes some frequencies and voila, you receive your channel! You watch it all day long! The next day you find out that you can't turn on your TV and that is burned out...OUPS!


I wish the cold weather would stay far away from here, at least until november!

Brrbrrbrr!!!

The cold weather stays away from your area until November... when it arrives, it lasts for nine months, so you are trapped under very thick layers of snow and ice during The Winter That Refuses to Leave.

I wish spring weather would arrive sooner so I can wear my VFFs outside.

Spring weather arrives sooner and disappears just as quickly and turns into such a hot summer those VVFs are way to warm to wear.

I wish my dog wasn't going blind.

What! Poor Jaffa! But 'luckily' dogs can go a long way on smell and hearing.

BAM! Now your dog has only one leg but perfect eyesight!

I wish I had my rabbits back.

You immediately get your rabbits back, and they're in perfect shape. Unfortunately, they've become like the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog.


I wish my hair would show its age by slowly turning grey instead of slowly falling out...

Your hair turns grey, in fact you entirely turn grey. And your wife-to-be finds you so dull that she leaves you and starts dating an Italian gigolo.

I wish I had the waistline I had when I was 20.

Kadaaaa!

When In was 20, you were still a tiny little embryo. Suddenly you look like a wasp and even your husband and kids are scared of you. Only Jaffa still likes you because you still smell the same.

I wish my life was better than it currently is.

Typo's fixed. :P;)

SWISH FLAMBRE PRON FLAMP!

Your wish is heard. Unfortunately, the Wish Granting People mishear "better", and thought you said "beta".
So, your life is buggy and incomplete. Occasionally, you get stuck in walls and people around you occasionally run into closed doors that start opening and closing frantically while the person is stuck doing a walking animation against a wall.

I wish that I could get my order from Play.com corrected, but keep the thing they sent me by accident... and also Zooey Deschanel can deliver it *swoon*

Wacka-zacka-ziiing!

Zooey Deschanel delivers your order from Play.com and lets you keep the thing they sent you by accident. Trouble is, she's become a zombie and everything she touches (including you) rots.

I wish that Monday means workday for me.

Kadzjeng!


It's Monday, and all the people you meet work for you.


I wish I could cuddle my rabbits again.

Woooof

Your rabbits come back after their vacation and you get to cuddle them again. What you didn't know was that both Klaas and Annabel have become inexplicably fertile and have brought their 200 extremely cute rabbit kids with them.

I wish the party I'm going to tonight will be fun.

Wappo!

The party was fun but it only lasted 5 min.

I wish I was outside in the sunshine.

*bling*
You are now allowed to venture outside.......but you can only go out ion a bright red sweater to scare off the birds, the down side is it attracts crazy dogs.

I wish I had more hours in the day.

BANG!

You end up living in the very north of Sweden where the sun never sets in the summer and you have 24 hours of daytime. (At least during the summer. In the winter you have 24 hours of darkness)

I wish dinner was ready soon.