Corrupt-A-Wish!
 

Here's a game I've seen on other forums that I thought would be fun to play here, as usual. First person makes a wish, second person grants the wish and corrupts it somehow, then makes their own wish, and so on.

Tutorial Mode:

Okay, for real this time:

I wish I had some pie.

Your wish is but my command: you now have a piece of ruhbarb pie... that's about a year old and maggot infested and stinks terribly.

I wish I were a pirate.

Presto! You're a pirate! Avast! The FBI is at the door with a warrant for your arrest.

I wish I owned a working teleport machine.

*poof* Your teleportation device arrives in the mail; however, the first time you attempt to use it, you teleport to the middle of the Pacific Ocean and drown.

I wish I were still living in San Francisco.

Oooo, a dao genie game.

Okay, while the the teleport machine does indeed function, and is very good at sending things, anything that is sent somewhere by it does not function so well.
Just like the three questions thread...

You technically live in sanfranciso, but a kilometre underground.

I wish everyone was much greener.

KA-WOOOSH. Everyone is much greener. But the next time you go out with your peeps on a camping trip in the Minnesota woods, you loose them, never find home again and die.

I wish you were here.

ZUMM. Suddenly all the twohundred girl- or boyfriends you've ever said this to are in the room, squirming and screaming because it's a really tiny room.

I wish Tim Schafer's monster truck would visit me soon to take me away.

KapoW! His monster truck arrives to take you away... to the city morgue, as it ran you over


I wish that there was world peace

Cowabunga! The world rests in peace. People become so bored of being bored of never killing anyone that they start killing themselves instead. Teh End(?).


I wish I was the one running this place.

Kazzing! You're whisked away to the AG secret bunker, where you're forced to run on a wheel to power the generators that support the AG server.

I wish I was rich and famous.

"Was"? Past tense? Ha ha ha ha ha! Okay, your past has been altered so that you were rich and famous until two days ago when you lost every last penny and the world forgot about you. You're homeless now, and will never get over the shock of losing it all.

I wish I could have a hundred more of my own wishes granted, none of them corrupted.

Kazow! Your hundred wishes are granted, but since none of them are allowed to be corrupt and all of your wishes were for very naughty things, all you end up with is 100 fluffy stuffed toys.


I wish that the next person to post in this thread will be very rich

As fate would have it, Jack Thompson just registers on this board and makes that very post, telling you how he will use the money to destroy adventure games forever.

I wish quantum physics were understandable.

Padoing! Quantum physics become understandable, but in doing so become incredibly simplified to the point where understanding them is useless.

I wish that The Thread™ would die.

kapow! The Thread™ dies immediately after everyone in the entire world but you posts last in it.

I wish I had a bigger house.

POOF- You now have a bigger house, but the basement floods daily and you are forced to sale your house.


I wish I was cuter

Kazing! You turn into Fluffy Fluffy Bun Bun, become insane and attempt to cutify the world before being thwarted by Drew Blanc.

I wish my commuter train was less crowded.

POOF * Your train is now empty b/c you have foul BO

I wish I had lots of money

*Poof!* You now have lots of money which you spend on a casino to get even more money, thus having none left..

I want to be happier.. :frown:

Xyzzy! A rain of money showers you, and you now have lots of money...on top of you, burying you under it.

Gah, got beat.

Xyzzy! You are now happier, but only because everyone else is more sad than you.

I wish University wasn't so evil and demanding.


- :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

Pazoing-g-g-g! Your university adopts the American system of degrees and hands them out to anyone.


I wish that I had X-ray vision so I could see through people's clothes

POOF* you now have x-ray eyes but you looked at too many people now your power is gone.

I wish everyone a bright sunny day

*poof* Everyone has a bright and sunny day, a very bright and sunny day - The oceans evaporates, forest fires everywhere, and everyone dies of water loss..

I wish I could be thinner

*blup* You are sliced in half, longways, by an axe murderer and are now thinner


I wish that I could spend all day doing nothing

*plop* You die.

I wish I could live in a videogame world!

Granted. You are now doomed to spend the rest of your life in a video game office department, typing lifeless numbers into a computer.

I wish I lived in Manaus.

*SLAM* Nazi alien robots destroy your house, but since you're not a video game character you fail to jump out in the nick of time.

I wish more ladies would like-like me.

EDIT: Bah.

You are captured by a team of unscrupulous scientists to test the effects of higher testosterone and other altered hormone levels. The reesults make you a lot more violent, less intellectually capable, much hornier and generally much less well adjusted emotionally, but somewhat more likeable to a significant number of women.

I wish I had the means to crush those who oppose me.

Past tense again: now your enemies have stolen the means and are crushing you!


I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a '64 Impala

The rabbit in the hat jumps out and hits you to death with the bat, finishing you off with the '64 Impala.

I wish Dracula had a better car.

Assuming that the presence of "had" means something has to refer to the past is like assuming "le" or "der" means something has a penis.

Vlad dracula is exhumed and reburied in a ferrari enzo in a giant tomb with thousands of freshly impaled turks.

I wish there was an ipod that runs on AAA batteries.

An iPod is created that runs on AAA batteries... for about five minutes.

I wish I was.

The ghost of shakespeare appears to you and gives you a modified version of hamlet's "to be or not to be soliloqui". It differs in that it's desgined to convince you to be and is a few weeks long. This results in you speaking medieval english instead of modern.

Accidental early posting

You would if you thought!
So says Descartes anyway.
I wish I paid more attention to my philosophy classroom instead of drinking beer and playing foosball.

Unscrupulous scientists use you as a guinea pig for various new stimulants.

I wish for a bunch of extra inhabitable planets in the solar system.

Some extra inhabitable planets appear... seconds before nuclear war claims the lives of every individual on the planet other than you.

I wish I was a Punk Rocker with Flowers in My Hair.

Suddenly, you meet a Punk Rocker with Knuckles in The Hand, who don't like hippies so much.

I wish I had a clone to go to work instead of me, so I can do only nice stuff at home and still earn cash.

*poof* While at home, all you end up doing is sitting around watching daytime television, and you become morbidly obese and lethargic as a result. Meanwhile, your clone becomes very successful in his line of work, marries the woman (man?) of your dreams, and lives happily ever after.

I wish I didn't have so much work to do.

Granted... you develop a strange desire to eat all of you paperwork thus causing an intestinal blockage and you died.

I wish I could know how many licks to get to the center of the Tootsie Roll Pop

You receive an internship with the afforementioned unscrupulous scientists, where after assiting with a few other experiments performed on humans you get the opportunity to test this.

I wish that new pantherxl joysticks were made, ones with the same design, but without the durability problems, and that they don't cost much more.

Me and who?