===============================================================================
FAQ/Walkthrough for
LEISURE SUIT LARRY IN THE LAND OF THE LOUNGE LIZARDS
===============================================================================
GUIDE INFORMATION
-----------------
Author: Tom Hayes
E-mail: thayesguides(at)gmail(dot)com
System: PC
Updated: 21st August, 2008
Version: 1.1
CONTENTS
--------
1. Introduction
2. Walkthrough
3. Character List
4. Item List
5. Point List
6. Maps
7. Easter Eggs and Secrets
8. Debug Information
9. Age Quiz Questions
10. Copyright Information
VERSION HISTORY
---------------
1.1: 21st August, 2008 (Format update)
1.0: 27th April, 2003 (First version)
===============================================================================
1. Introduction
===============================================================================
Leisure Suit Larry is an adult adventure game made by Sierra in 1987. Although
the controls and graphics are very similar to other early Sierra adventures
like King's Quest and Space Quest, the plot couldn't be more different. Instead
of finding treasures and visiting distant worlds, the aim in Leisure Suit Larry
is to help software salesman Larry Laffer find the woman of his dreams on his
one night in Lost Wages. A warning at the start of the game states that this
game is only for people over the age of 17, although by today's standards there
is nothing too extreme in the game. Even so, the game is definitely intended
for adults, and players who may not have liked the cute appearances and themes
of other early Sierra adventure games may find themselves enjoying this game.
===============================================================================
2. Walkthrough
===============================================================================
LEFTY'S BAR
-----------
The game starts outside Lefty's bar. OPEN DOOR to enter the bar. SIT on the
stool between the people. BUY WHISKEY and Larry will pay for it. Stand up and
walk north through the doorway to arrive in the hall. GIVE WHISKEY to the drunk
and he will give Larry a remote control. GET ROSE on the table at the left side
of the room. OPEN DOOR to enter the bathroom. GET RING from the sink. READ
GRAFFITI on the wall four times to see three normal messages followed by the
password 'Ken sent me'. SIT on the toilet. STAND. OPEN DOOR to exit the
bathroom. Walk south to return to the bar. KNOCK DOOR at the right side of the
room and enter KEN SENT ME when the hatch opens to enter the storage room.
The pimp refuses to allow Larry upstairs, so he will need to find some way to
distract him. USE REMOTE CONTROL to turn the TV on. The soap opera doesn't gain
the pimp's attention, so CHANGE CHANNEL until it does. Larry scrolls through
advertisements, comedies, documentaries, sports shows and educational shows
before finding an adult channel that makes the pimp leave his post. With the
pimp out of the way, walk upstairs. Instead of using the arrow keys to walk up
the second set of stairs, press the home key to walk diagonally.
GET CANDY from the table at the bottom-right corner of the room, OPEN WINDOW.
CLIMB THROUGH WINDOW to exit the room. You don't need to talk to the woman on
the bed yet, as Larry will return here later on. Outside, walk left across the
fire escape to fall into the bin below. GET HAMMER. CLIMB OUT of the bin. Walk
west one screen to return to the entrance of Lefty's bar. CALL TAXI and wait
until it appears. OPEN DOOR to enter the taxi. Tell the driver to GO TO CASINO.
PAY DRIVER after arriving at the destination. OPEN DOOR to exit the taxi.
CASINO
------
Enter the casino and walk north one screen to the elevator room. GET PASS from
the bin. Walk east to the cabaret lounge and SIT on the bottom-right chair to
find the whoopee cushion. STAND up. Exit the lounge and walk south to return to
the casino. Walk to the bottom-left slot machine and PUT MONEY IN MACHINE to
start playing. SAVE the game and bet the maximum amount of money. Save if you
win and restore if you lose. Keep playing in this way until you win $250, which
is the maximum amount that can be won on the slot machines. Walk south to exit
the casino and BUY APPLE from the man with the barrel that appears. If the man
doesn't appear, exit and return to the area until he does. CALL TAXI. OPEN DOOR
and tell the driver to GO TO SHOP. PAY DRIVER and OPEN DOOR to exit the taxi.
SHOP
----
LOOK PHONE to read numbers on the side. USE PHONE and DIAL 209-683-6858 to call
a computer at Sierra. DIAL the number on the side of the phone: 555-6969 to
call the National Hot Line Sex Survey. Type any answer for the five questions
that are asked. Enter the shop and GET MAGAZINE from the bottom-left shelf.
READ MAGAZINE to see the centerfold. GET WINE from the shelf at the back of the
shop. Walk to the clerk and BUY PROTECTION. He will ask questions about what
lubber Larry would like to buy. Answer the clerk's questions however you like.
Larry will hand over $8 for the magazine, wine and lubber. Exit the shop.
Walk to the ringing phone and and ANSWER PHONE. The caller will repeat the
answers that Larry gave to the sex survey. Wait for the drunk to walk into the
area. If he doesn't appear, exit and return to the area until he does. GIVE
WINE to the drunk and he will give a knife to Larry. He won't give anything
away if Larry gives him money. Walk east one screen to the disco.
DISCO
-----
SHOW PASS to the bouncer and he will let Larry enter the disco. Inside, SIT on
the chair opposite the woman, Fawn. LOOK FAWN twice. GIVE CANDY, GIVE RING and
GIVE ROSE to Fawn. ASK FAWN TO DANCE. She is so impressed by Larry's generosity
that she agrees. STAND up from the chair and walk onto the dance floor to start
dancing. After the long dance scene, return to the table and SIT opposite Fawn.
LOOK FAWN. She says that she wants to get married, but needs a hundred dollars
to pay for the marriage. GIVE MONEY to Fawn and she tells Larry to meet her at
the Marriage Chapel near the casino. STAND up and exit the disco. CALL TAXI.
OPEN DOOR and tell the driver to GO TO CASINO. PAY DRIVER and OPEN DOOR.
CASINO
------
Enter the casino and either play blackjack or the slot machines to win at least
$150. You can win money more quickly by using the slot machines as you can keep
saving when winning and restoring when losing until you get the money. There is
no point winning more than $125 at this point as Larry will soon lose it all.
EXIT the machine. Walk south to exit the casino and then walk east one screen.
CHAPEL
------
TALK MAN wearing the trench coat. Open the door to enter the chapel and MARRY
FAWN, the woman that Larry met in the disco. Fawn runs out after the wedding
and tells Larry that she will meet him at the Casino Hotel's honeymoon suite.
Exit the chapel and walk west one screen to return to the casino.
CASINO
------
Enter the casino. Walk north one screen and enter the elevator. PUSH FOUR on
the panel to ascend to the fourth floor. KNOCK DOOR with the heart on it and
Fawn will let Larry into the honeymoon suite. TURN ON RADIO and wait for the
wine advertisement. Fawn wants a bottle of wine, so OPEN DOOR to exit the suite
and PUSH ONE in the elevator. Walk south two screens to exit the casino. CALL
TAXI. OPEN DOOR and tell the driver to GO TO SHOP. PAY DRIVER and OPEN DOOR.
SHOP
----
USE PHONE and DIAL 555-8039 to call Ajax Liquor. Tell them to deliver WINE TO
SUITE. CALL TAXI, OPEN DOOR and GO TO CASINO. PAY DRIVER and OPEN DOOR.
CASINO
------
Enter the casino. Walk north one screen and enter the elevator. PUSH FOUR on
the control panel to ascend to the fourth floor. KNOCK DOOR with the heart on
it and Fawn will let Larry into the honeymoon suite. Walk to the top-right
corner of the bed and POUR WINE. GET IN BED. After the scene has finished,
Larry will be tied to the bed as Fawn walks out of the room with his wallet.
CUT ROPE WITH KNIFE that was given by the drunk. GET ROPE. OPEN DOOR to exit
the suite. PUSH ONE in the elevator to return to the first floor and walk south
one screen. Larry had $10 that Fawn didn't steal, so gamble this on the slot
machines to win at least $40. Exit the slot machine and exit the casino. CALL
TAXI, OPEN DOOR and GO TO BAR. PAY DRIVER and OPEN DOOR.
LEFTY'S BAR
-----------
OPEN DOOR to enter Lefty's bar, which hasn't changed at all since the last time
Larry visited. KNOCK DOOR at the right side of the room. Say KEN SENT ME to
enter the storage room. Walk upstairs to the hooker's bedroom. Stand at the
south side of the bed and REMOVE CLOTHES. WEAR PROTECTION. GET IN BED. After
the scene, REMOVE PROTECTION. CLIMB THROUGH WINDOW to the fire escape. A bottle
of pills sits out of reach on the window ledge. Fortunately, Larry read the
magazine from earlier, which has a handy hint about how to reach windows.
TIE ROPE to Larry and then TIE ROPE TO RAIL. CLIMB OVER RAIL and Larry will
notice that he still can't get to the pills as the window is locked. HIT WINDOW
WITH HAMMER that Larry found in the bin. GET PILLS before climbing back over
the rail. UNTIE ROPE. Walk over to the left side of the fire escape to fall
back into the bin. CLIMB OUT of the bin and walk west one screen. CALL TAXI.
OPEN DOOR and GO TO CASINO. PAY DRIVER and OPEN DOOR.
CASINO
------
Enter the casino. Walk north one screen and enter the elevator. PUSH EIGHT on
the control panel to ascend to the eighth floor. LOOK FAITH, the woman behind
the desk at the bottom-right corner of the room. GIVE PILLS and she will exit
the room, leaving the desk unattended. LOOK DESK to see an unlabelled button.
PUSH BUTTON and the penthouse elevator doors will open. Walk into the right
elevator to enter the penthouse. Walk through the top-right doorway.
In the bedroom, walk to the closet and OPEN DOOR. GET DOLL. The doll is
currently flat, so INFLATE DOLL and then USE DOLL. The game refuses to let
Larry do anything to the doll the first time, so USE DOLL again. After a short
scene, the doll deflates and Larry follows it out through the penthouse to the
rooftop garden. GET IN POOL. LOOK EVE. You can talk to her a few times, but
after a while she just waits to see what Larry wants. GIVE APPLE, and she will
tell Larry to follow her to the penthouse bedroom. In the ending, she pats the
bed and a series of fireworks appear on the screen.
===============================================================================
3. Character List
===============================================================================
BARREL MAN
Found outside the casino. Larry can buy an apple from him for a dollar. He
may not appear straight away, so exit and return to the screen until he does.
BOUNCER
Found outside the disco. The bouncer blocks Larry's entrance to the private
club. He refuses to let Larry in until Larry shows him the disco pass.
DRUNK
Found in the hall one screen west from the bathroom in Lefty's Bar. He will
give the remote control to Larry in exchange for the bottle of whiskey.
DRUNK
Found outside the shop. He will give Larry the knife in exchange for the
bottle of wine. Larry can also give him money, although no item is given.
EVE
Found in the pool on the penthouse garden. Eve is the final woman that Larry
meets in the game, and the game is completed when he gives her the apple.
FAITH
Found on the eighth floor of the casino hotel. Faith leaves the room when she
is given the bottle of pills, leaving the penthouse button unguarded.
FAWN
Found in the disco. Larry gives her the candy, ring, money, and dances with
her in the disco. He gives the money to the minister to marry her in the
chapel, and finally gives the wine to her in the honeymoon suite.
FLASHER
Found on the street outside the chapel. The flasher opens his coat when Larry
walks past. Larry can talk to the flasher to insult him for one point.
HOOKER
Found in the bedroom at Lefty's Bar. Larry should wear the protection before
getting into the bed or he will die within a few minutes.
KEN WILLIAMS
Ken is referenced in the 'Ken Sent Me' password on the bathroom wall, but
actually appears at the end of the game to advertise Leisure Suit Larry 2.
LARRY LAFFER
The main character of the game. Larry was a travelling software salesman who
has come to the city of Lost Wages to find the woman of his dreams.
LEFTY
Found in Lefty's bar. Larry can order beer, wine, whiskey from Lefty at the
bar, but the only drink he decides to carry around with him is the whiskey.
MINISTER
Found in the chapel after Larry has given the money to Fawn in the disco. The
drunk minister marries Fawn and Larry after he has been given 100 dollars.
MUGGER
Found in the alley near Lefty's Bar, the casino, the shop and the chapel.
Larry can escape the mugger by quickly exiting the alley.
PIMP
Found in the storage room at Lefty's Bar. The pimp refuses to let Larry up
to the bedroom. He will be distracted by the TV if Larry uses the remote.
SHOP CLERK
Found in the shop. The clerk sells the lubber to Larry by asking him a series
of questions. Larry also buys the magazine and the wine from the clerk.
SONNY BONDS
Found outside Lefty's Bar if Larry hasn't removed the protection after using
it. Bonds will arrest Larry if he catches him and the game will end.
TAXI DRIVER
Found in the taxi. Larry can call the taxi from a street and the driver will
take him to the chosen destination. Be sure to pay the driver after arriving
at a destination as he will kill Larry if he leaves without paying.
===============================================================================
4. Item List
===============================================================================
APPLE
Bought from the man wearing the barrel that appears outside the casino. It is
given to Eve in the penthouse pool after Larry has looked at her.
BOTTLE OF PILLS
Found behind the right window in the alley at the side of Lefty's bar. It is
given to Faith on the eighth floor of the casino to make her leave the desk.
BOTTLE OF WINE
Found on the top-left shelf at the back of the shop. It is given to the drunk
that appears outside the shop to receive the pocket knife.
BOX OF CANDY
Found on the table in the hooker's bedroom of Lefty's bar. It is one of four
items that is given to Fawn while looking at her in the disco.
BREATH SPRAY
Available at the start of the game. Breath spray can also be purchased from
the shop. It is used to stop characters complaining about Larry's breath.
DIAMOND RING
Found by looking in the sink in the bathroom of Lefty's bar. It is one of
four items that is given to Fawn while looking at her in the disco.
DISCO PASS
Found in the ashtray in front of the elevator in the casino. It is shown to
the bouncer at the disco to enter the room where Fawn is sitting.
GLASS OF WHISKEY
Bought while sitting at the bar at Lefty's Bar. It is given to the drunk in
the hall one screen north from the bar to receive the remote control.
HAMMER
Found in the trash bin in the alley at the side of Lefty's bar. It is used to
hit the right window in the alley after Larry has tied himself to the rail.
INFLATABLE DOLL
Found in the closet of the casino penthouse. It is used twice. Larry follows
the deflated doll out onto the garden after using it for the second time.
"JUGS" MAGAZINE
Found on the bottom-left shelf in the shop. It can be read to provide a hint
on how Larry can reach the window in the alley at the side of Lefty's bar.
POCKET LINT
Available at the start of the game. It is not used. When Larry tries to use
it, a message appears which says that the item is a joke.
POCKET KNIFE
Found by giving the bottle of wine to the drunk outside the shop. It is used
to cut the rope after Fawn leaves the honeymoon suite in the casino.
PROPHYLACTIC
Bought from the shop after Larry has answered all of the clerk's questions.
It is used in the bedroom of Lefty's bar before Larry gets in the bed.
REMOTE CONTROL
Found by giving the glass of whiskey to the drunk in the hall in Lefty's Bar.
It is used to turn on the TV and change the channel in the storage room.
ROPE
Found after Larry cuts the ropes in the honeymoon suite in the casino. It is
tied to Larry and the rail on the fire escape outside Lefty's bar.
ROSE
Found on the table in the hall outside the bathroom in Lefty's bar. It is one
of four items that is given to Fawn while looking at her in the disco.
USED PROPHYLACTIC
Found by wearing the prophylactic before getting into the bed in the bedroom
of Lefty's Bar. It is removed to avoid getting caught by Sonny Bonds.
WALLET
Available at the start of the game. It is used to pay for the apple, glass of
whiskey, marriage to Fawn, honeymoon suite, taxi and the bottle of wine.
WRIST WATCH
Available at the start of the game. It can be looked at to see the time in
the game. Larry has until midnight before the game ends.
===============================================================================
5. Point List
===============================================================================
LEFTY'S BAR
-----------
1 1 Buy the whiskey from Lefty's bar.
3 2 Give the whiskey to the drunk in the hall.
4 1 Get the rose from the table in the hall.
7 3 Get the ring from the sink in the bathroom.
9 2 Read the graffiti on the wall four times.
10 1 Sit on the toilet in the bathroom.
13 3 Use the remote on the TV in the storage room.
21 8 Change the channel on the TV seven times.
23 2 Get the candy from the hooker's bedroom.
26 3 Get the hammer from the trash bin.
CASINO
------
27 1 Arrive at the casino.
28 1 Get the disco pass from the ashtray.
29 1 Sit on the chair in the lounge.
32 3 Buy the apple from the man outside the casino.
SHOP
----
33 1 Look at the phone outside the shop.
38 5 Use the phone to dial the number 209-683-6858.
40 2 Use the phone to dial the number 555-6969.
41 1 Get the magazine from the shop.
42 1 Read the magazine.
43 1 Get the wine from the shop.
47 4 Get the protection from the shop.
52 5 Get the phone outside the shop.
57 5 Give the wine to the drunk outside the shop.
DISCO
-----
62 5 Show the disco pass to the bouncer at the disco.
63 1 Sit on the chair near Fawn in the disco.
64 1 Look at Fawn twice.
65 1 Talk to Fawn.
70 5 Give the box of candy to Fawn.
75 5 Give the ring to Fawn.
80 5 Give the rose to Fawn.
85 5 Dance with Fawn.
92 7 Give the money to Fawn.
CHAPEL
------
93 1 Talk to the flasher outside the chapel.
105 12 Marry fawn in the chapel.
CASINO
------
106 1 Turn on the radio in the honeymoon suite.
111 5 Use the phone to dial the number 555-8039.
121 10 Cut the rope on the bed with the knife.
124 3 Get the rope from the honeymoon suite.
LEFTY'S BAR
-----------
134 10 Use the protection in the Lefty's Bar bedroom.
145 11 Get in the bed in the Lefty's Bar bedroom.
146 1 Remove the protection after getting out of the bed.
154 8 Get the bottle of pills after breaking the window.
CASINO
------
159 5 Give the pills to Faith in the casino hotel.
164 5 Ride the elevator up to the penthouse.
169 5 Get the inflatable doll from the penthouse closet.
174 5 Inflate the doll.
182 8 Use the doll for the second time.
222 40 Give the apple to Eve in the garden pool.
===============================================================================
6. Maps
===============================================================================
MAP 1: LEFTY'S BAR
------------------
_______ _______
| | | |
| |--|Bthroom|
| | |_______|
| Hall |
| | _______ _______
| | | | | |
| | |Bedroom|--| |
|___ ___| |___ ___| | Fire |
| | |Escape |
___|___ ___|___ | Alley |
| | |Storage| | |
| Bar |--| Room | | |
|___ ___| |_______| |___ ___|
| |
_______ ___|_____________________|___ _______
| | | | | |
|Mugger |--| Street |--|Mugger |
|_______| |_____________________________| |_______|
MAP 2: CASINO AND CHAPEL
------------------------
_______ _______ _______
| | | Pent- | | |
|Garden |--| house |--|Bedroom|
|_______| |___ ___| |_______|
^
_______ |
| | |
|Floor 8|------+
|___ ___|
|
___|___
| |
|Floor 7|
|___ ___|
|
___|___
| |
|Floor 6|
|___ ___|
|
___|___
| |
|Floor 5|
|___ ___|
|
_______ ___|___
|Fawn's | | |
| Room |--|Floor 4|
|_______| |___ ___|
|
___|___
| |
|Floor 3|
|___ ___|
|
___|___
| |
|Floor 2|
|___ ___|
|
___|___ _______
| | | |
|Floor 1|--|Cabaret|
|___ ___| |_______|
|
___|___ _______
| | | |
|Casino | |Chapel |
|___ ___| |___ ___|
| |
_______ ___|___ ___|___ _______
| | | | | | | |
|Mugger |--|Street |--|Street |--|Mugger |
|_______| |_______| |_______| |_______|
MAP 3: DISCO AND SHOP
---------------------
_______ _______
| | | |
| Shop | | Disco |
|___ ___| |___ ___|
| |
_______ ___|___ ___|___ _______
| | | | | | | |
|Mugger |--|Street |--|Street |--|Mugger |
|_______| |_______| |_______| |_______|
===============================================================================
7. Easter Eggs and Secrets
===============================================================================
DIFFERENT LARRY
---------------
Use the debug mode to transport to room 1. The title screen is shown, and after
pressing enter a larger and more animated version of Larry is shown. Larry runs
while moving horizontally and climbs while moving vertically. The game gives a
SetView error when Larry tries to stand after sitting.
DRAGON, DROID AND GRAHAM
------------------------
When Larry dies and is sent to the workshop, characters from other games in the
Sierra series are being tested. Graham and the dragon from King's Quest I and
the droid from Ulence Flats in Space Quest I are in the workshop.
KING'S QUEST III REFERENCES
---------------------------
Larry can look at the moose head on the wall in Lefty's Bar to see a message
saying that the moose head is a leftover from King's Quest III. In that game,
the moose head can be found in Manannan's dining room. Another King's Quest III
message can be found by moving the boxes in the Lefty's Bar storage room.
ROPE GLITCH
-----------
After Larry has used the pocket knife to cut the rope in the honeymoon suite,
Larry can pick up the rope for three points. Even though the rope is now added
to the inventory, the command to get the rope can be keep being entered for
three points each time. The score rolls back to 0 after it reaches 255.
SKIP THE AGE PROTECTION QUIZ
----------------------------
Press Alt + X as soon as the title screen appears to skip the five questions.
SONNY BONDS APPEARANCE
----------------------
This character from the first three games in the Police Quest series arrests
Larry outside Lefty's Bar if the used prophylactic is not removed.
===============================================================================
8. Debug Information
===============================================================================
Hold Alt + D to access the debug mode. Type "get object" followed by a number
to collect any item in the game, "gimme gimme" to collect all items, or "TP"
followed by a number to teleport to a new location.
ITEMS
-----
1 Wallet 8 Remote Control 15 Pocket Knife
2 Breath Spray 9 Rose 16 Bottle of Wine
3 Pocket Lint 10 Prophylactic 17 "Jugs" Magazine
4 Wrist Watch 11 Used Prophylactic 18 Hammer
5 Apple 12 Box of Candy 19 Bottle of Pills
6 Diamond Ring 13 Inflatable Doll 20 Rope
7 Glass of Whiskey 14 Disco Pass
LOCATIONS
---------
8 Underground workshop 17 Lefty's Bar bedroom 35 Casino elevator
9 Mugger's alley 21 Shop interior 36 Casino cabaret
10 Taxi 22 Shop exterior 40 Casino fourth floor
11 Lefty's Bar exterior 23 Disco exterior 41 Casino honeymoon suite
12 Lefty's Bar alley 24 Disco interior 42 Casino eighth floor
13 Lefty's Bar bathroom 31 Casino games room 43 Penthouse garden
14 Lefty's Bar hall 32 Casino exterior 44 Penthouse living room
15 Lefty's Bar bar 33 Chapel exterior 45 Penthouse bedroom
16 Lefty's Bar storage 34 Chapel interior
===============================================================================
9. Age Quiz Questions
===============================================================================
A 747 is
(c) a large airplane.
A hard disk is
(a) better than a floppy.
A Macintosh is
(a) a kind of Apple.
(b) a kind of apple.
(c) an article of clothing.
(d) All of the above.
A moon is
(a) an astronomical body.
(b) a practical joke.
(c) a form of pie.
(d) all of the above.
A nehru jacket is
(b) out of date.
A result of Watergate was
(c) Richard Nixon quit.
Al Lowe is:
(c) never "carded.".
All politicians are
(d) on the public payroll.
Angela Davis is
(b) a failed politician.
Blackjack is
(a) an ace and a face card.
Bonnie and
(b) Clyde.
Bourbon Street is in
(d) New Orleans, Louisiana.
Calvin Klein is
(c) a clothing designer.
Canada is
(d) All of the above.
Captain Kangaroo's sidekick was
(d) Mr. Greenjeans.
Cesar Chavez led a boycott of
(a) grapes.
Charlie McCarthy and
(d) Edgar Bergen.
"Close Encounters of the Third Kind" is about
(c) creatures from outer space.
Dentente is
(d) a policy to replace war.
Do girls really have cooties?
(b) No.
Does a pair of queens beat three deuces?
(a) Yes, in blackjack.
Doonesbury's "Uncle Duke" is based on
(b) Hunter S. Thompson.
During the 70's, Carroll O'Connor portrayed a
(b) lovable bigot.
Edsel is a
(c) car.
Elizabeth Taylor is
(a) an actress.
ERA is an abbreviation for
(b) Equal Rights Amendment.
Former Congressman Wilbur Mills went for a dip in the Tidal Basin with
(b) a stripper named Fanne.
Frank Sinatra is a
(c) saloon singer.
G. Gordon Liddy was associated with
(d) the Plumbers.
"Gone With The Wind" is about
(c) four hours long.
Herb Alpert and the _____ Brass
(a) Tijuana.
Herpes is
(d) fatal (if given to your spouse).
How many molecules are in a glass of water?
(d) as many as there are glasses of water in the whole world.
How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
(a) None, it's a hardware problem.
(b) None, programmers can't fit in light bulbs.
(c) 100. One to hold the bulb and 99 to debug the house.
(d) None so far, but they'll get to it Real Soon Now.
Hugh Hefner is usually photographed in
(d) pajamas.
I am presently
(d) past puberty.
I find computer games with adult content
(b) acceptable.
I have hair on my
(d) lottsa places.
If a physician were stranded on a desert island with Bo Derek, he would
probably
(a) build a boat.
(b) take two aspirins.
(c) overcharge her.
(d) thank God.
If Bo Derek were here, I'd ask her to
(d) stop playing computer games.
If you arrived at a party wearing your birthday suit, you would
(d) It depends on the party.
IBM stands for
(b) International Business Machines.
In some personal ads, TV stands for
(b) transvestite.
In the movie, "Paint Your Wagon," Clint Eastwood sang
(a) "I Talk to the Trees".
In Westworld, "where nothing can go wrong," guests were entertained by
(c) robots.
Is this software pirated?
(c) No. (How could you even ask!)
It is customary to tip about
(c) 15 per cent.
"It's not nice to fool"
(b) Mother Nature.
James Brown is often referred to as
(d) the Godfather of Soul.
James Earl Jones was the voice of
(c) Darth Vader in "Star Wars.".
Joan Rivers is
(c) a former talk show hostess.
Joe DiMaggio played
(b) baseball.
John Belushi was on
(d) "Saturday Night Live.".
John F. Kennedy drove a
(a) PT boat.
Johnny Carson is
(c) Ed McMahon's sidekick.
Kookie's address was
(a) 77 Sunset Strip.
Kwi-Chang-Caine became famous by saying
(d) "Aaaaaiiiyeeeaagggh!"
Las Vegas is famous for
(c) gambling.
Lee Harvey Oswald killed
(c) John Fitzgerald Kennedy.
"Let It Be" was recorded by
(d) the Beatles.
Lingerie is
(a) sexy.
Lucy, Ricky, Fred and
(d) Ethel.
Making a "Hole in One" is
(a) every golfer's dream.
Marlon Brando is
(b) an actor.
Martha Mitchell was
(c) the outspoken wife of an Attorney General.
Mel Brooks is
(c) a comedian.
Michael Doonesbury founded
(b) Walden Puddle Commune.
Mohammed Ali is
(c) a professional boxer.
Mork was from the planet
(a) Ork.
My boss is
(d) responsible for my paycheck.
My favorite actor is
(d) not listed here.
My parents are
(d) 36 or over.
My sex life is best described as
(c) none of your business!!
"NORML" is
(c) trying to legalize marijuana.
O. J. Simpson is
(d) no one to fool with.
Oral Roberts is
(b) an evangelist.
Paul, John, Ringo and
(b) George.
Peter Benchley's novel "Jaws" was about
(d) sharks.
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled
(c) peppers.
Pia Zadora is
(a) sexy.
(b) a singer.
(c) short.
(d) all of the above.
President Eisenhower's nickname was
(c) Ike.
President Ford prescribed _____ for dealing with economic problems.
(b) employment.
Ralph Boysen invented
(a) the boysenberry.
Richard Nixon was the _____ President of the United States.
(c) thirty-seventh.
Ronald Reagan's co-star in "Bedtime for Bonzo" was
(a) a monkey.
Sergeant Pepper was
(c) the leader of the Lonely Hearts Club Band.
Sex is
(a) great.
Spiro Agnew is
(c) a former Vice President.
Taxes should be
(a) lower.
(b) higher.
(c) unchanged.
(d) eliminated.
Ted Kennedy is best remembered for his
(a) driving.
(b) underwater free-style.
(c) brothers.
(d) All of the above.
The 1973 album "Dark Side of the Moon" was recorded by
(a) Pink Floyd.
The 70's practice of running around naked was called
(b) streaking.
The American television debut of Bob Hope, Dinah Shore, Elvis, and the Beatles
was on
(b) "Your Show of Shows."
The Atlantic and Pacific Oceans are connected by the
(a) Panama Canal.
The "Chicago Seven" was
(d) partially convicted.
The best "pick-up" line is:
(b) Want to go for a ride in my Porsche?
The drink "Screwdriver" contains
(b) orange juice.
The East Coast is
(a) home of the Mets.
The first baseball player to challenge the reserve clause was
(c) Curt Flood.
The first man on the moon was
(c) Neil Armstrong.
The first Negro to play Major League Baseball was
(a) Jackie Robinson.
The G-Spot is supposed to be
(b) a female erogenous zone.
The germ that transmits syphilis is
(b) Spirochete.
The largest state is
(b) Alaska.
The last name of Annette (on the original Mickey Mouse Club) was
(c) Funicello.
The leader of Nazi Germany was
(d) Adolph Hitler.
The "Mile-High Club" is
(d) open to those who have performed aerial acrobatics inside a plane's rest
room.
The most effective form of birth control is
(a) abstinence.
The most likely place to find virgins is
(c) St. Mary's Girls School.
The most populous city in the United States is
(c) New York.
The phrase "Cutting the cheese" refers to
(d) flatulence.
The slogan "It takes two hands to handle a whopper" refers to
(b) a hamburger.
The song "American Pie" was about
(c) a dead rock star.
The tackiest seventies fashion was
(a) platform shoes.
(b) midi-skirts.
(c) short hair.
(d) bisexuality.
The term "Working Girl" refers to
(b) a lady of negotiable virtue.
The world is
(b) spherical.
There are about _____ calories in a can of beer.
(b) 150.
Thomas Eagleton was dropped from the 1972 Democratic National Ticket when
knowledge of his previous _____ treatments became known.
(c) shock.
"Tiptoe Through the Tulips" was recorded by
(c) Tiny Tim.
Tom Hayden is
(d) All of the above.
Two bits is
(d) the former cost for a shave and a haircut.
Utah is full of
(d) None of the above.
VCR stands for
(d) Video Casette Recorder.
What was illegal during Prohibition?
(b) alcohol.
When it's noon in California in August, in St. Louis it's
(b) 2:00 p.m.
When playing "Monopoly" you
(b) must own four houses before building a hotel.
"Where's the"
(c) beef?
Which is non-alcoholic?
(c) Perrier.
Which is not a baseball team?
(c) Seahawks.
Which is not a car?
(d) Toshiba.
Which is not a cheese?
(d) Reisling.
Which is not a city in Mexico?
(c) San Diego.
Which is not a currency?
(c) fennel.
Which is not a mountain range?
(a) Cayman.
Which is not a wine?
(b) Bon Aire.
Which is not in Hawaii?
(c) Fiji.
Which one of these was not a war?
(c) Chinese.
Which is not an American armed force?
(d) the National League.
Which song was not recorded by Elvis?
(c) "What'd I Say".
Which U. S. President was not elected to office?
(c) Ford.
Which U. S. Secretary of State was born in Germany?
(d) Henry Kissinger.
Whips, chains and handcuffs are
(a) kinky.
Who's buried in Grant's tomb?
(d) Mrs. Grant.
Who has not been a U. S. Attorney General?
(b) Sam Shepard.
Who is not a famous musician?
(d) Steve Garvey.
Who is not a mass murderer?
(d) Timothy Leary.
Who is not a sportscaster?
(c) Jayne Mansfield.
"Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?"
(b) The Shadow.
Who lost a daughter but gained a "meathead?"
(c) Archie Bunker.
Who made a record album with a cover that looked like a pair of blue jeans,
complete with a working zipper?
(a) Rolling Stones.
Who spends the most time in Las Vegas?
(b) Wayne Newton.
Who starred in "Bedtime for Bonzo?"
(d) Ronald Reagan.
Who was banned from "Saturday Night Live" because he lost a telephone poll?
(d) Andy Kaufman.
Who was not an astronaut?
(a) John Milton.
Who was not a politician?
(c) W. C. Fields.
Who was NOT in the movie "Easy Rider?"
(d) Karen Carpenter.
Who was not Vice-President of the United States in 1973-74?
(c) Thomas Hayden.
Who was the inventive genius behind the Apple computer?
(b) Steve Wozniak.
Who wrote "To be, or not to be?"
(a) Bill Shakespeare.
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10. Copyright Information
===============================================================================
This file is Copyright 2003-2008 Tom Hayes. As it can be difficult to keep
track of websites that haven't posted the latest version of this file, please
do not distribute it without my permission. Send an e-mail to me if you would
like to post this file on your website and you will likely receive a positive
response. If you do post the file, please keep it in its original form with all
of the sections intact and credit the author (Tom Hayes) as the writer of the
file.
