While we're on the topic, one thing that confuses me about gay relationships is, with the absence of traditional gender roles, who is supposed to take the lead?

For example:
Some might call me old fashioned, but I've always believed in such things as chivalry and good etiquette. If I were dating a woman, as a gentleman I would be sure to open the car door for her, pull out her chair in a restaurant, etc.

While that might not be considered typical behaviour for all, there are countless situations in traditional relationships where it's dictated that the man would take lead. So in a same sex relationship how does one know what kind of actions are appropriate, and whose place it would be to perform them?

Ideally, it should be an equal partnership.

Tell your mother I said you were raised right, and thank her for me.

Everyone is different, but these are some rules I observe:
Whoever is driving the car should open the door for the passenger(s) before opening their own door. Gender, relationship, or age do not affect this rule.
A gentleman should always hold the door open for a lady and allow her to enter first. Whenever there are only gentlemen in a group, which ever gentleman reaches the door first should hold it open for the rest of the group.
On a date, whoever does the asking is honor-bound to do the paying as well. As the relationship progresses this rule becomes negotiable, but for the first few dates it is carved in stone.
The pulling out of chairs isn't practiced much in the US except by maitre d's, but logically the one who does the asking and the paying should also do the chair-pulling.
When on a sidewalk, a gentleman always walks between the lady and the curb. I find myself doing this with guys, but it's not a conscious thing.
When crossing a street, a gentleman must always offer his arm to a lady. I've caught myself doing this with guys as well.
There are all sorts of other rules, but these are the basics. Did they help to answer your questions?

I know buddy...I know.
(((Karmillo)))

Thank you for your detailed reply.
I was curious how traditional dating 'rules' would transfer over from their original intended application, - whether people would just scrap most of them, or one person would take it upon themself to perform them, - and it was interesting to see how you adapted them to suit the situation.

I know that if a guy treated me like a lady I would be flattered, but I did wonder if it might make others in that position uncomfortable.

Your comment on who should pay was useful, I had never really considered it before, but I had just assumed people would split the bill. Your "who asks pays" solution seems logical to me.

Now I just have to find a guy with whom I can put this in practice. hehe.

Aah! The end of Sex!

Fantastic!

You're most welcome.

I don't think of it as "treating someone like a lady" so much as I think of it as treating someone with respect and deference. The two are pretty much the same thing, but there are those who place great importance on the semantics of the description.
For example, my friend Tim used to get hopping mad every time I went to open a car door for him because he felt it diminished his masculinity. He would whisper through clenched teeth "Don't open that door! Unlock it from the inside!" every time.

Again, thank you Sir.

Ask and ye shall receive. Are there no gay pubs where you live? I can recommend a couple of personals sites, but they're a very iffy proposition at best.

;) Why are you so afraid of sex, Robsie? It's perfectly natural, very beautiful, an incredible way to people to bond, and when done responsibly is just one of the most exquisite experiences of life.

Done wrong it can be a pain in the arse :D

Ouch.

Thanks Scott for answering my curious questions!

That´s why I think it´s strange there aren´t any around me. As a country we´re fairly openminded but I live in (right outside) a small town with very much small town mentallity.I´m sure that could be a problem to come out of the closet.

Thanks Scott! That means a lot!:)

That wasn´t really what I aimed at. I guess love is love wherever it shows up. We all what to love and be loved. My questions are more like what are the possibilities of getting married/registered partnership, how is it accepted in the community and family.

And one issue is ways of having children when you want to in a homosexual relationship. For instance this really handsome singer/actor called Rikard Wolf http://www.reportagebyran.se/repo04/...kt-04/wolf.JPG(wonderful voice, did the dubbing for Scar in The Lion king so you can imagine his voice is deep and mysterious like Jeremy Irons) recently had a baby with his parter. The mother is another very popular, gay Swedish writer/stand up comedian`s sister. Are you following?
I guess the actual conceiving was in a lab.;)
He´s a proud dad and the mom lives in the same house as he does, in another apartement with her parter, which will make it easy for the child to have access to and live with both parents.
Another issue is adoption. In Sweden it´s possible to adopt as a homosexual couple, but I don´t think it has happend yet since the countries where the children are do not approve of homosexual parents.

EDIT: R.Wolf often sing French chansons (spelling?), I just love him.

The way I understand it, it means something like "current boyfriend", which does imply a frequent change of boyfriend, but which doesn't really mean one-night-stand. Of course, I wouldn't like that at all if I were the said beau.

I like the expression, though. :)

Forget about it, shagging's the BEST!

Good to see this threads back to basics :) Ahhhh, you can't beat a dirty shag.

Jackie Gleason would disagree with you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by seebaruk
Ahhhh, you can't beat a dirty shag.

damn straight!
Who the hell is Jackie Gleason? He or she needs a dirty shag!

hahahahaha

I was told it meant "man of the day". A friend of mine used to use it to describe his rather transient affairs, so I guess it really isn't appropriate.
It's just that every time I hear the term "boyfriend", I flash back to "Young Frankenstein" and hear Cloris Leachman (as Frau Blücher) proclaiming "He vas my BOYFRIENT!!". Not exactly a romantic image, that.

http://recollectionbooks.com/bleed/images/BB/hm1.jpg
Pow! Right in the kisser!