Battle for the Loony Empire-Thingie
 

I'm sorry, Jazhara7. You probably didn't want this to go on; you probably don't want your assumed title challenged any further. Besides, we both know I'd win, so maybe there's a bit of fear there too. But it must be done, you see, it must be done. Do you see that door there? -->
It's open, see? No closure. No closing door. No door-closing. Not even half-way, you see- it must be done. The Empire's legacy must still be won. Or maybe just called into question a little bit. You know what, maybe I don't need to start this again; maybe I could just put it in question now and be done with it. Yes, sounds good enough. Here goes: "Are you absolutely certain that you are the Loony-
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't realize this was a classroom. The door's open, see, and it's not closed yet, no sir, not closed. That's why you were able to come in, yes?-APART from the fact that it's your classroom, yes, of course it's your classroom, and a nice classroom it is, and I see all the little kiddies are here too. But the point is the door. It needs to be closed, yes? I'll just go and close it now, see?
I seem to recall telling you the door was closed already.
...
To business, then. I see that most of you are missing today. Good, good- it means I'll have an excuse to murder them a tiny bit. Today we will be learning LUNACOLOGY, which is, as you all should know, the science of-
Shut up, little hamster. Now, who remembers where we left off?







:devil: Good, good! :devil: I think I'm going to have a lot of fun. We left off following the self-proclaimed Loony One and a challenger to the title with vastly superior powers of Loon.

Um, are you sure the Loony Empress wasn't loonier? Because-

Of course!
I don't think you appreciate that I am a science teacher, small rodent. I deal only with issues of absolute fact!
Now, we left off with the two facing off in a most primitive manner. He took pity and attacked with mere limericks, while she cowered in fear.

I'm pretty sure that's not how it-

See me after class. HE held on to his style of poetry, and as we all know a repetitive style is not loony enough! NOT LOONY ENOUGH! NOT LOONY ENOUGH! And she not only repeated her old tricks, but also repeating adventure cliches, and even mimicking her opponents' tactics? WHAT IS LOONY ABOUT THIS, I ASK YOU? There is nothing loony about it. It is all too sensible, too obvious. TRUE LUNACY revolves around nonsensical improvisations! It demands a careful discarding of all those parts of the brain which do not promote lunacy, when they are not promoting lunacy and instead promoting the mere silliness displayed by followers of the school of thought which says that looniness is but a-

Will this all be on the test?

:D Why, absolutely! :D

Ohhhh...

I was afraid of this...

But...

Not the test!...

Ugggghhh...

Yay!

I hereby bequeath...

WHY? WHY?

Bleck!

AAAAAAAA!! I've had enough of this! I've had enough of your squeaky whining!
WE ARE LEARNING LUNACOLOGY!!!!!


Ahhh, that's MUCH better. I should have done that ages ago. So where were we? Oh, yes, the battle. Well, the champion had the vorpal blade in his possession (the source of his lunacy), which can only be defeated by a very specific legendary weapon. It rested in the Malted Marsh, guarded by vicious sea lions, in the Realm of Rynot which is invisible to the naked eye, in the Land of Lispher, which can only be reached via the Passageway of Peril, itself guarded by a very expensive cave trolley. The only way to reach the passageway is via the magical Gelled Gate, which must be at just the right temperature to appear. The weapon itself can only be discovered (while in the Malted Marsh) through underwater pixel-hunting. For no particular reason, the heroic one had made up his mind to surrender any and all of this information if his foe should merely ask. But she did not. By the time she found out about the weapon, and began to suspect that it was in fact the Great Frying Pan of Rhetoric, a particularly hungry sea lion had swallowed it and rendered it quite unusable.

This brings us to our current chapter in the saga. Over the principle that doing is better than telling, the rule was proposed that each blow should top its predecessor, until one participant can no longer get any loonier. In this very scientific way, they would determine who was the loonier of the two. Now then, let's open to Page 14, and we shall begin.

A real loony wouldn't try that hard to be crazy ;).

I now pronounce you Emperor Napoleon of the Loonatic Asylum!

Oh my, I'm red from ear to ear:
The forum told me she was here,
But now I wait, and what I see
Implies it may have lied to me.
It hurt my feelings on this night;
I thought my timing was all right,
I saw that she was wandering 'round
The forum, but she can't be found.
Perhaps I scared her off, I wonder?
That would have been quite a blunder.
Or perhaps, at this late hour
She does not have all her power.
In that case, I understand.
(Hardly cause for reprimand.)
In any case, it's as they say:
Tomorrow is another day.

To RLacey, by the way:
If I'm normal, as you say,
Jazhara should have little trouble
Reducing all my tricks to rubble.
But the fight has just begun;
Still no telling who has won.

Oh, you're teh winner for sure, just in a whole different category.

:shifty: Dude, give it up. You are genuinely weird, especially when the future of exploration in Metroid is in question, and you can bust out some phat rhymes but I think this contest was settled a long time ago.

Anyways, you never proposed how "a winner" would be decided so to what end are you working?

...bysmitty

"To what end are you working?"
 

I had bananas today.
I don't like bananas, but I ate them anyway.
Isn't that weird?


All seek the banana realm, though few find it.
How many bananas can even fit in there?
I'm not sure I know.


How many bananas does it take to change a lightbulb?
I think the answer is seventy-four.
You pick them up and throw them and hope you hit the right bulb,
And leave the shattered remains on the floor.

What, they were supposed to put a new bulb in too?
Pooh pooh.


One banana, two bananas, three bananaaAAIIIIIEEE!!!
Four bananas, five bananas, six bananaAAAAAAIIIIIEEEEE!!!
Hey, nosehairs are not for pulling!


Gee, I don't know how to top that. I guess you win.


Oh, sure, but I never called myself the Loony Empress. I'm just a fictional character, really. I've never called myself anything but a fictional character. And I only called myself that right now.


Yeah, but if you'd like, you could stop calling yourself the Loony Empress.

end?
...to a proposal, no doubt :)
How convenient it is that imaginary kingdoms are so easy to unite! :devil:

The poem is pretty witty;
Carroll I always admired,
so tell us Mory,
was it him who inspired
your
work?

I must admit, he helped a bit
In shaping my view on lunacy.
How could he not, when he has got
Lines like "The Snark was a Boojum, you see."?

But in this case, you are quite wrong;
It's not Mr. Lewis that inspired the song,
But the writer of "Danny" and "Charlie" and "James"
The writer whose nonsense got many acclaims.
For the inspiration for the poem, truth be told
Was my other favorite, Mr. Roald.
Okay, so I don't rhyme quite as well as he.
But the jump of the rhythm is quite plain to see.

You know, the real goal (if it can be believed)
Is something which I have already achieved!
For the goal I'm seeking is not so much glory
(although, I suppose, that does enter the story)
But a much more obvious prize to be won:
How can I lose, when I'm having fun?

You can be titled anything but loony emperor, 'cause it's already taken. Pick a title of your own and we shall worship you.
This fight, you cannot win.:frown:

EDIT: Now I see the post above. Go ahead amuse yourself, but I still think that Jaz is the looniest there is.;)

You might consider compiling a volume if you haven't already done so.

Nihil Obstat. ;)

We expect further notification on locations of upcoming cons and selling autographs :D

No Contest really.

Jaz is the Looney Empress.

Maybe Moriarty is the princess?

Now there's a horrifying thought.

I sense that Mory is going to be disappointed. If he actually cares, of course.

We shall see. :devil:

Or not, as the case may be. I may be biased in this, but I have a feeling that Jaz will actually trump anything you care to post here (in terms of sheer looniness).

As it should be. That is the point- I put the first post so that she may top it, then I top that and so on. I don't see why all of you are so quick to judge the outcome (in either direction) before Jazhrifh has made a single move. Patience, little hamsters.

Wazoo.

I think the J to the Z might not be responding herr.

Prove us wrong. Eh?

I could beat either one of you. That's loony to say, huh? Well, that means I'm more loony than either one of you, meaning I win. Loony, eh? I win. I create an infinite loop of getting loony +1, so I have infinite loony, compared to your limited, if maybe large, amount. So, my staple amount might be smaller, but with the loop I get infinite, winning you.

Ha!

You can't touch this.

I thought 'loonies' weren't supposed to know they were actually insane? So surely the one who denies it the most is the most loony?

Indeed!

Well said!

I say!

Eh heh, I will now evilishly bump this thread.. heh heh heh.
Eh heh, I will use this piano here... heh heh bleh.
Pianos are good for bumping, feh feh schmeh.
Especially evilishous bumping, which is my favorite kind, greh kleh queh.
The evilishioust thing you can do when bumping threads is rhyming like a master, so I say, seh ther meh.
Geeeeeeeee, I'm good at this evilishioustiest rhyming thing, zhe sthlreh crtknmsdxehh heh heh heh.

You see, I play fair. I am a good sort
Of dangerous psycho. I could have declared,
"She's run! She gave up!" were I a bad sport,
"I've won 'cause she saw my first post and got scared!"

I've done no such thing for I think that a win
Should follow a challenge, or else it means naught.
I could call her beaten, but I do not sin
And give myself titles before I have fought.

So I will await the arrival of Jaz,
Politely ignoring that ignoring is
Precisely what she's doing. Eah, this is as
Boring as a... misanthroping... ant roping... ZZZZ....

Except for the last word, that's like a Picasso of posts that is.

Loony is overrated

Hey, Hammerite, you woke me up! :( And it was the most pleasant dream, too- something about string theory. Wake me when she gets here... ZZZZZ :Z

WHAT??
STRING?
string ist the tool of satans majickal elfs! be burn'd evil one!
now wake up and stop thinking about string.

Agh, go away. You know I need to get some rest so when the insane poster shows up, I'll have the strength to deal with it. [turns over and fluffs pillow] :Z

:Z [sniff, sniff] :Z

The fact that Her Loonyness hasn't acknowledged this thread should make you very nervous.
I suspect she's converting one of her "Mail-Order Assassins" to a "Mail-Order Kidnapper" as I type this.
You know what happens to the leaders of failed coup attempts, don't you?

I wasn't aware jaz was Loony Empress. I've never seen her particularly loony. What'd she do for that honor?

:z Failed koopa tanks... SNRGFML ... Oh yes, that's a very nice knife you've got by my throat, yes, thank you. >get knife [takes knife sleepily] ... and the coupon tempts ... Yes, I'll have some free ice cream, why thank you. I'll just slit you with my new knife...













:Z











[springs up suddenly]
Why do you side with her?- She does not even come!
Why is it certain that the curtain of DOOM
of doom shall come upon me?



:Z ...See, I don't really think it will as such, and I'll just slit you there and there and-

The crowds cam-paign for a voice that has no name
No name for the person who does not show up has little say in what goes down so really is there any doubt that I will win when we .. Must .. Do .. With-Out her????

Join with me in song,
One And All,
All and One,
(though maybe not you)
And when we are through
The WORLD WILL SING TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!













:Z

No Idea, but as seebs pointed out you have to doubt Jaz'z true loonyness as she has sometimes claimed to be looney....althought not as much as Morairty's

"OMG EVERBODEE LOOK AT HOW notLOONY I AM!!!!!!!!.....erm....Fliblargoopedy doo!...umm...YALALALERLYLOO BANNANA KNICKERS!"
:shifty:

"Hey, I've got a message from Mommy for y'all. Here I go *coughs*:

'Hey, guys. I won't be around for a while. A friend and I are trying to figure out how we are supposed to inflate the leif-bode, why we receive leif-bodes anyway, and who is supplying them to the club. That last one is creepy, since I effectively founded the club, and thus should be in the know where the presents come from. I won't complain, but I'd like to know what this "Leif-Bode" is supposed to be in any case. I mean, it sounds like it's the homestead of a some nordic sea explorer, but if you ask me, I don't think it's particularly helpful when searching protection from the elements. I still think it might be supplied in case of a possible nucellar war...they might really help dampening the impact of a cello on your head.'

...That's it. Now, I'll have to go back. Mommy promised to order soy while I'm gone. If I hurry, I might be able to arrive just when the order arrives. Ta ta!"


- :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

If you scoop out one of your own eyeballs and post a pic of the gaping eye socket here, then I'll believe you're loony.

Iggy... what is a "nucellar" war?

>>>She's a loony, you know. Not a masochist.<<<

...

>>>What are you staring like that at me for?! Just because I'm her evil twin doesn't mean I have to tag along with her all the time. To tell you the truth, that Leif-Bode stuff is freaking me out. Well, not freaking me out, but it leaves me quite cold, to tell the truth. So I hang around here and smirk at MoriartyL's pityful idea of taking over the 'Loony Empire'...Doesn't he know that my twin has been born with that sad state of mind called "Lunacity", and never recovered from that? He can't just say he's loony and think that's it. But hey. whatever floats your boat! I'll just lie back and enjoy the sight. *perches her head on hands, her elbows on the table* Let the one-man show begin! *smirks*<<<

>>> Iggy's gone back to my twin already. I thought she made that one clear, though. It's 'when the Bombers are sent here to rain deadly cellos on our heads.' I know it sounds nuts, but the Loony never claimed she was sane, did she?<<<

- :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

It'll all end in tears... it'll all end in tears...