A friend has a problem where their mother has what appears to me as some kind of personality disorder. I'm not sure on what course of action to advise, and while "a random bunch of internet people"
may not have the answer, it might at least give them some ideas...
So, basically, there's a pattern to her behaviour. She lives a long way away from the friend and when they see each other they get on fine for a couple of days and then the mum starts lots of little criticisms that start getting bigger and bigger until it comes to huge recriminations for past events. Past events are quite huge: the mother seems to think of herself like Fantine in Les Miserables. She blames this all on her kid who was 10 or 11 at the time. Riiight.
For example, they recently organised a vacation together and consulted with her on hotel, flights, etc. After the first couple of days, she complained about the hotel, about being isolated (you needed a car to drive anywhere as the hotel was a bit remote and she doesn't drive), and that they went swimming on the last day while she was upset about leaving.
Now, this would be much less complicated if my friend didn't have kids. The kids love their Gran although she doesn't really ever play with them or talk to them, she just spends vast amounts of money on presents and clothes for them. Who would want to keep the kids from their Gran? Who would want their kids to start hearing all the lies and half-truths and even the truth about the sordid past when they are not even 6 years old yet?
So, its a dilemma and neither choice is easy. How do you handle someone with these terrible mood swings? Can you hire a psychiatrist for someone else? (Although the mother claims she does see a psychiatrist who apparently tells her she needs to think more about herself! Either she's hearing what she wants to or the psychiatrist is not very good)
