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Originally Posted by Kingzjester
What do you mean long?
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Ok, only one was really long. Well, I read it now. Sometimes long paragraphs indicate that the author is babbling about one thing too much. Well, this wasn't the case. It wasn't boring at all.
I partly agree with Dom and Fairygdmthr. A few more pages and you could alienate a lot of readers. In the worst case scenario, by the end of the story you would just be preaching to the choir, sort of.
"A smallish, sallow man, he looked very much like that wee, slinky Judas figure from that much praised triple-portion movie that came out in increments recently... You know, the one made after a saccharine epic written by some English pansy linguist"
This felt completely unrelated for example and directed my attention away from your story.
