Hm, well, the original post has mysteriously vanished, so I'm not sure how PC it is to add something to this.
So, uhm. I'll just add my beef and you can ignore it? I guess?
Spoiler:
I don't know to what lengths this is feasible to "teach" oneself, but it's helped me greatly in life - I simply allow myself to understand just about everything. However, there's a fine difference between understanding and tolerating. Just because I might understand, say, in the extreme case, why a terrorist just blew apart ten people 
doesn't mean I tolerate it.
Alternatively said (to elaborate)... I find it no problem to empathically connect to just about any person. I make my rational decisions on other things, though. T'is why people who are my friends have zilch safety from my moderation if they're subject to it. I'd permanently ban a best friend from a forum if they were acting to deserve it. I wouldn't like them any less, though.
Apparently, that sort of distinction is "freaky", but honestly, it's one of the most useful things I've come across - namely for the dilemma you presented here - and so I'll suggest it and of course continue to live by it.
