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Originally Posted by omloflump
So is everyone who disagrees with you, no doubt.
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Not at all - many disagree with me and live to tell about it!
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Originally Posted by omlofump
While there's no doubt in my mind you can write, I got the feeling that I'd heard it all before. The style, at least, seemed very familiar. And, well, let's just say I'm not the biggest fan of metaphor, too often it just comes off as pretentious. Sorry, I just neaded to balance out the opinions.
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sic
Your "nead" to balance out the opinions (when only mine was expressed), makes it sound like a balance ledger. You are criticizing the creative writing of an amateur writer, who is trying to tell a personal story, a very personal story. If you really feel the need to criticize it, fine, but don't do it with the jaded sounding, "I got the feeling that I'd heard it all before." Do it with some encouragement, and you did that a bit, but be gentle here - egos get bruised easily when the writing is so personal. You may be criticizing him, and not just his writing here. He is a talented writer, and needs to write more to hone his skills.
As far as saying I sound pretentious - I'm not at all a pretentious person, I'm an very down-to-earth person, but a very verbal one. Words create pictures for me, and Trep did that for me with his metaphors, and detailed description. I used the words "contentious" and "comtemptuous" toward you, because first, contentious is a similar word to pretentious, yet fits, since you feel the need to "balance the opinions", and contemptuous, because of the jaded comment, which comes off as a put-down. I didn't say them because you disagreed with me, but because of the potential effect upon Trep's writing. As one who has made some feeble attempts at writing, I can appreciate just how difficult it is to clearly write about one's feelings, and not make it trite or mushy-sounding. Trep deserves a lot of credit for writing well in this way, and for openly posting this on the forums. In actual fact, I'm probably more over-protective, than pretentious here.
FGM
