(Not So) Private Messages
 

Yesterday, a friend brought to my attention that under the "Who's Online" section, not only can you see that someone is reading or composing a Private Message, but you can also see who that PM is to or from.
My question is this: Is it really the entire forum's business who corresponds with whom via PM? Shouldn't Private Messages be exactly that, Private messages?

Just curious,
ScottMate

You can?! I thought only Mods could see that.

Have you always been able to tell, or is this recent?

(Incidentally, I kind of like that feature because then I know if someone I PMed is responding to me and if I should hang around online long enough to get the PM.)

I think it's always been that way - but I agree with Scott - it's no one's business who you are PMing.

Lynsie

Well sure, I can think of several reasons why Mods should be allowed that privilege, but it is available to any and all who stagger in the door and sign up.

ScottMate

To play devil's advocate - why? What bothers you about someone knowing you're sending a PM to a certain person? (Not trying to invalidate the concern - I'd really like to hear what the issues are, because it doesn't bother me at all for people to know who I'm writing a PM to. It's not like the content of the PM is public.)

If privacy is that big of a concern that you don't want anyone knowing you're conversing, there is always email (although that's not working through the forum right now :() or MSN or something. (Or you could set it in your profile so your status on the board is "hidden" - then people won't see you in the Who's Online list at all.)

People would still be able to see when other's are PM'ing you, though.

I think it's a valid concern. Being able to see who's PM'ing who definitely makes the P a little less 'private' and a bit more 'public'. Just seems to defeat the purpose of the function somewhat.

I think just seeing that someone is PM'ing would be sufficient information for the Who's Online list. No need to say who they're actually writing to.

In response to your devil's advocacy ;) :
emailing is inconvenient as you have to go to the trouble of acquiring someone's email address. Same for MSN and the like - not everybody has this option.

p.s. Looks like you'll be getting a message from Jack soon :D

I know. I wish he'd hurry up and finish it. I'm late for work. :D

For one thing, it caught me by surprise yesterday when someone mentioned this to me. Since they're called "Private Messages", I thought privacy was implied in both content and correspondant.
Two things, really:
One, as with starting new threads or responding to existing ones, I often get a whole page typed in and say "Umm...nah!" at the last minute. The "Who's Online" area wouldn't reflect that the message was never sent, only that I spent some time typing it in.
My second concern is the big one, though. The person who informed me of this feature said "Yeah, I see that you and so-in-so PM each other all the time", which just flew all over me. I don't necessarily mind telling anyone that so-in-so and I PM each other, but I don't like being told by a third party who I PM regularly when it's really none of their business.
As I said, I don't mind the fact that I'm reading or composing a PM being public knowledge, but it just irks me that who the PM is to or from is made public knowledge as well.

Privacy isn't that big a concern unless it's promised and not delivered. If the messages sent between two forum members are called "Private", then I feel that they should be so, both in content and destination. Yes, there is always E-mail, but that means leaving this forum and going to my home page.
I'm not saying I want to be hidden or that I mind someone knowing what I'm doing here, only that I wish the addressees of private messages weren't revealed along with the fact that I'm reading or composing a PM.

ScottMate

Well, vB doesn't support the disabling of detailed info on Who's Online, and I'm not about to go hacking vBulletin for the sake of one complaint, so here's the official word... I can turn off Who's Online for everybody, or you switch to e-mail as a communication medium if you're uncomfortable with private messages.

Frankly, I couldn't give a crap who sees what users I PM.

I vote that you leave the "Who's Online" thing. I haven't found many people to whom I can't send emails.

I agree with Fairygdmther and scott on this one I think it no one`s Business who Pming people on the forum here that not right

Thanks for clarifying, Doug.

I use Who's Online a lot to keep track of what's going on on the forums, so my vote is to leave it the way it is.

So now it comes out. I guess we finally know who the AG forum voyeur is.

:D

This really doesn't bother me at all so I'm fine with leaving it the way it is. I really do not use Who's Online all that much to notice a pattern of who's doing what with whom but I guess there are people (non-mods) who do. Interesting.

:pan:

I don't think I had ever used it (or even noticed it was there) before I became a mod. That's probably why I thought the ability to see who was PMing who was linked to mod privileges.

I'd hoped that the implication was obvious in my original post, but there's no way I'm turning Who's Online off. Nobody's forcing you to use PMs, so if you're bothered by them, don't use them. It's as simple as that. I consider the matter closed.

My intention was not to cause a major problem. I was just caught off guard by the fact that if I'm composing or reading a PM, anyone who wants to can see who the PM is to or from.
Now that I know this, I will bear it in mind in future.
At least by bringing the subject up, other people here who may not have been aware of this feature before are aware of it now.
I guess if I decide to carry on an illicit, torrid affair via the internet, I'd better use regular E-mail instead of PMs. ;)

ScottMate

I'll send you my address.

Ugh, while I can appreciate some people's concerns regarding privacy, if it were really an issue, you'd use a more secure and private form of communication - the use of a public forum isn't the most discrete way of communicating.

Who's Online is pretty cool for checking on what everyone's doing at a given moment. Anybody notice that members tend to be reading mainly current threads, while Guests delve into the archives a lot more? I've found a lot of interesting old threads by stalking Guests around :D

Myself, I don't particularly mind people seeing who I'm PMing, but it makes me a bit uncomfortable to see Person X PMing Person Y, like I'm watching some strange little love affair I'm not supposed to know about...

I'm not really PMing. Mods and users tend to spank me publicly.