Are you happy?
 

Just what the subject line says. At this point do you feel you are happy with where you're at in life? Or, are you depressed or sad or blue or melancholy about something in particular in or just in general? No need to get specific(none of our business), but if you don't care to spill it then feel free to spill it. :D

Me? I'm not happy at all. I used to be, but I recently went through a divorce, and it was a real heartbreaker for me. It wasn't one of those nice, neat prepackaged kind where one side does something dumb(because they're not happy) and the other side gets the luxury of hating them for it. No, I got the kind where nothing malicious went down and now I'm left empty and don't really know what happened. She just wasn't happy, and neglected to let me know this was going on, and by the time she told me and/or I noticed, it was too late. Seven and a half years together....gone.

To make matters worse, she has moved in with someone else, and only after knowing him for a month and only about a month after the divorce was granted. This person had nothing to do with our splitting up, but it was like a nice swift kick in the nuts.

Anyway, all this BS has affected my output on my adventure game project, The Disenfranchised, and I just hope I can get through this time in my life and move on for the sake of both it and my own emotional well being. :frusty:

I'm very sorry to hear about your marriage. I have no wisdom I could pass on to you to make you feel better, I can't even imagine what it feels like to be with someone for that long. But know this, being alone isn't that bad, especially if you have some other passion in your life to get you through, and it seems you do. Just don't try to shut your feelings down, first have your catharsis and then concentrate on your game :)
You'll be fine.

As for the thread question, it's not that I'm that happy at the moment, but I'm also not unhappy. I'm kind of... content. Taking things as they come.

That's a sad story :( I hope everything works out in the end - however 'it works out' will look. I'm afraid that like cobra, I've no means to speak of experience to cheer you up or that sort of thing. I just hope you can enjoy your life again, somehow, somewhen, and hopefully soon. :)

I'm happy with my life right now. I tend to be happy with it most of the time. :) As funny as that might sound coming from someone who has gothic in their name and to that calls themselves a nihilist. Fact is, though, I'm very fortunate; I rarely get 'properly' ill, I have no financial worries, I'm studying the best possible course I could imagine taking, and I'm in a stable polygamous relationship with a guy and two girls (though due to nationalities, I only live together with the guy, whom y'all know, it's BoyToy of course).

I'm still recovering from a stress shock I had last year-ish, it plunged me a bit into a mid-life crisis (at 20 :shifty: ) of sorts, a "what do I actually want?" sort of phase, but slowly, I'm finding the answers, so all is good :D

What?? For real??

I don't think of myself as either happy or unhappy in general. I have moments of each on a regular basis, and I'm guessing that I'm not alone in this.

I really don't know know. Mixed emotions.

I'd learned to be happy. Especially so when life is just as absurd as pushing a rock up the hill, only to see it roll down to the other side. :D

Sorry to hear that, Orange Brat. Couldn't come close to comprehending the heartache, and it puts my own situation into better perspective.

An existential crisis made me move overseas and try to start life again. Two months here, and I haven't seen a single hint of the fantastic changes in life I'd envisioned myself having. Makes me wonder why I still continuously squander my dad's money in the process of "living".

Less depressing but just as anxiety-inducing is finding a place to live. After looking at countless crappy linoleum-floored floored apartments from seventies hell, I finally found the perfect apartment the other day. Now all I'm doing is waiting very, very anxiously for the real estate agent to tell me whether my application for it has been accepted or not. I'm actually coming to dread this. Just once, it would be nice not to be rejected...

I'm not very happy. Though that doesn't mean I'm sad. I'm pretty emotionless at places like school, and that makes a lot of people think I'm depressed, which is not the case. I'm godless. I'm hateful. That doesn't make for a happy child, I admit. But why should I be sad? I know many people think of me as cynical. I don't like to think of it that way. I see myself as someone who sees reality a lot clearer than most people. I'm sorry to say, it's not a happy place. But then again, so what? I have no reason to be sad. But that's just because of three things in my life. I really think that if it wasn't for these forums, adventure games, or comics, I 'wouldnt have the will to go on.

I voted that I don't know. I don't have much to worry about, but I also don't have anything to be happy about. I think it'll be more clear for me once I graduate college (in a year), and then I'll know how my future is looking.

Orange Brat, I'm so sorry to hear about your troubles. On that account, insane_cobra seems to have taken the words right out of my mouth, and I can add nothing to his words of comfort and advice except to say that I agree with him wholeheartedly.
Am I happy? A little.
I will soon have to move because the apartments where I live are being sold and will be torn down to make way for luxury condominiums, so that's a bit of a downer. I truly hate moving, and I've collected a phenomenal amount of crap over the eight years I've lived here that will have to be sifted through ruthlessly and without emotion.
My job is currently very stressful because my immediate boss has raised nit-picking to an art form, and frequently displays an astonishing gift for focusing on the least important aspect of any given situation. However, I just spent the last week in the company of my corporate big bosses, and they and I seem to see eye-to-eye, so in the big picture I'm in good standing. Perhaps my immediate boss will move on to another position and will be replaced with someone who has a clue.
I haven't dated anyone in years, but spent this past week in close quarters in the company of someone with whom I got along famously from the moment we met. They're already spoken for (of course), but this does give me renewed hope that there might be someone out there for me after all, which is a good thing. Missing someone so strongly after only (*checks clock*) 27 hours apart has inspired me to renew my search for a "significant other" in a more active fashion.
Overall, I'd say I'm a little happy, but I'm trying to improve that score. :)

ScottMate

Bratsie (may I call you that? Pleeeeez?), the only thing I can tell you at this point is to give yourself permission to at least do something, anything, good for yourself every single day. I mean it, every single day. It could be anything at all - going out very early in the morning for a jog or a stroll and watching the sun break the horizon, or treating yourself to gelato, or paying someone a compliment (yes, this actually makes you feel better!). The road to happiness begins deep inside and works its way out. Be honest with yourself.

I voted 'a little'. I'm actually by the ocean at this moment. big R and I spontaneously decided to come over to spend the remainder of the weekend at his brother's beach house on the Oregon coast (not far from Newport, it's just an hour's drive). We just took the stinky old dog for a walk on the beach this morning. I'd say right now I'm more relaxed than anything. In the grandest scheme of things I'm very happy with my life, but I know I can do better to sustain it. I'm in love, I live simply and comfortably, and things are happening gradually, at the pace I prefer. I'll eventually get to shift gears with myself and speed my progress up a bit. I'm working on writing an illustrated children's book for grownups (a kind of self-help, philosophical primer), hopefully get some publisher to take it. Sometime in the near future I want to do volunteer work. I'm more satisfied helping others to be good in ways I know how, and I'll get there on my own pace.

Bad things: I went through a rather brief but very intense relationship recently. The guy was nice, we had a good time and we would have fitted well together, but the relationship itself, as in the situation in which we were in, was just plain awful. Breaking up hurts.

Good things: Without that relationship I might not have learned that I can enjoy just doing various things by myself. It's important for me to think that I have friends who are there for me when I need them, but I now have the courage to do things all by myself as well.

I was happy when I was with him, now I've returned back to the state in which I was before that relationship, except that I don't feel as lonely as I used to feel.

School is also going to hell.

So I'm not happy.

For the most part, yes.
Zoloft & Welbutrin have had a lot to do with that.
Screw what Tom Cruise thinks!

No, I spontaneously made it up. :shifty: Meh, of course it's for real. :) It's just a bit restricted thanks to the physical distance to my two girls, but occasionally, I get to see them in the flesh, so that's nice, and offers oppurtunities, to, ahm... catch up on what we've missed. :D

Honestly, though, now I feel a bit awkward after you said that. Is it really so rare to find a working polygamous relationship? :crazy: *nervous shifting* *didn't find it hard establishing hers, but maybe the brutal honesty has something to do with that* >.>;

But... but, your saying that the relationship is "stable" made it sound like there is definitely no place for noone else. And that hurted some of us... :frown:

:D

Does BoyToy plan to return to the forums, BTW?

EDIT: Okay, so this "BTW" was ambiguous in that context. No, I don't have any dating plans involving BoyToy. :shifty:

Pinkgothic, you rock! I love a woman who's honest about what she likes and isn't afraid to pursue it. If I weren't old enough to be your father and if I didn't live thousands of miles away from you, I would ask you out myself!

ScottMate

:D *stuffs AFGNCAAP into her relationship, too* (Well, rather not, it can get a bit messy here :D )

Technically. :shifty: *will remind him of his plans when he returns from the dreaded McDonalds*

*laughs* Actually I think I'm far too naive - I never would have understood it that way, I'm far too used to mentioning it whenever I say his name, so this made no difference. Though you're right, now that I analyse it, the BTW does make it sound a bit suspicious :D

Not that I'd mind if you did have that wish. I'm no hypocrit. I can share. :D

*pout*

*briefly remembers Sulley's "I am old enough to be your father" and tears out her hair as she starts a general rant* Why, oh why, is it that age makes so much of a bloody difference? Looks don't matter, ethnics don't matter, nationality doesn't matter, most of the time opinions don't matter too much, either, people always say it's the personality, but age is the one topic where everyone suddenly finds an excuse to distance themselves.

Bah. :D

*proudly snuggles her age-less loves (though for those that must know, 34, 21 [me], 28, 25, and I've wanted a couple of 40+ boyfriends, though that didn't work out - in hopes that doesn't count as "too much information")*

Though, in the end, I do realise there's the whole "the bigger the age difference, the more likely it is one of those in the relationship will have to spend a lot of time without the other", and that sucks, so I'm not entirely without understanding. But given I'm the youngest of the lot, and younger than most people I've ever asked out, it's amazing they'd be voicing it as an argument. :P

Now that I'm done mindlessly ranting...

Thank you, Scott. :) I am, in fact, deeply flattered, even if for a moment my urge to rant was a bit bigger than my urge to blush. Please excuse my abusing your statement to make such a general rant. :crazy:

I've got a new avatar for him when he returns.

http://students.washington.edu/mtwall/flateric.gif

Eep. I seem to have touched a nerve there.
Okay...the next time I'm in Germany, I expect you to be ready to go out for dinner and a movie with me, or whatever else strikes your fancy (except for dancing, of course! ;) )

An open mind is no bad thing, especially where matters of the heart are concerned.

Fraulein, you are most deeply welcome and no offense was taken by your rant. In fact, it reminded me that I had just done the thing that used to irritate me most some years ago. A good wake-up call is no bad thing, either.

ScottMate

I personally don't give a damn about age differences, though I most likely wouldn't find an average 21-year-old as interesting as a 41-year-old. As I told big R a while back, it's not age that intrigues and draws me, it's character. I can barely take care of myself, so being with a 21-year-old (with due respect to their maturity at that age) would feel too much like babysitting. I'd rather have someone more seasoned and experienced, and it just happens that many older men ARE seasoned and experienced (lived more, loved more, etc. more). BUT, perchance I meet someone in his 20s who is so unique and follows his own path and is not afraid to FEEL life beyond merely following its outline, I would love to have an affair with him - even if it's just a platonic one.

As far as multiple romances, why not? If both all parties involved understand it with the wisdom that total possession is not expected, it can definitely be an incredible experience. But it could also drain you emotionally, I think only very, very few people can actually sustain this kind of experience. Elvis Presley's lovers had only great things to remember him by (aside from his irresolute self-destructiveness, he was thought of as an incredible lover by the women lucky enough to have been with him), there was no possessiveness. But as I said, only very few can actually carry this off.

:( Boysie, you beeyatch!! Get yer sweet cartoon character German ass back here so I can start drooling again!!

Need a shaving (is it full moon again?). Need to delete some old photos from my disk. Need to move. Need to found a punk rawk band. Need to finally grow the shit up. So, no. :shifty:

I need to sling some praises in your direction Trep. Seriously, your responses in this thread have helped me understand a lot of things in greater depth. Obviously, you are wise beyond your years. Your comment about doing something good for yourself every day is a very good point indeed. One in which I will strive to stick too. I'm positive that I'll be purchasing a copy of your book once its published. Anyway, just giving credit where credit is due. I really don't know what this forum would do without you... and that goes for a lot of others here too. :)

Same here. You've helped me out countless times when I needed it.

Thanks for the replies. This has been going on for quite a while, but I had to let it out, somehow. The melancholy comes and goes, and some days are really nice and others not so nice. I do tend to take those little walks and have my fair share of impulse purchases these days. :D

Ahhhh, women. :crazy: ;) :kiss:

What, no dancing? Scott! You disappoint me. :D

Oh, oops. :D In that case, of course, I take back my apology. Bad, bad Scott!

:pan:
:z
Scottsie

;)

Absolutely. I can completely understand that. Whilst I'm not at all interested in age, I can see there being a specific age pattern despite that, which has to do with where the type of personality I like tends to be nestled. Like with you, I tend to find a 41 year old more interesting than a 21 year old - at least, that's the pattern in guys, I'm not so sure about patterns in females, I've not given it that much of a thought, but presumably it's the same, if not quite so extreme.

:D

It might surprise you, but I agree. Fact is, though, I'm in my third relationship now, and this is the first time I've gone for polygamy - and it's the first time it's working! Previously each time I'd have a monogamous relationship (with truly lovely people, as a side-note, one of which I'm still good friends with) it wrecked me emotionally one way or the other. I like to think (but have no idea how true this is, other than that it feels so) that I've got too much love for one person :)

But we'll see how it works out long-term :)

Haha, that's awesome! Thank you, Spider Crusoe :) I'll poke him with it later. :D

Happy

*Shrugs*

Not really/Sometimes/Who knows (Delete as appropriate)

But you know I can't really complain. This year has been a pretty good year so far. Moved house/got promoted/going to Florida so I should be ecstatic.

I make a decent living so can't complain financially.

But just feel something is missing, but can't quite put finger on it.

A lot of stress from the new job and wondering if I was better off with less money and less stress doesn't help.

Yes, I'm happy... when I'm not at the office. Life in general is difficult but that's nothing new so I don't complain :)

I think I'm happy. Or at least I'm happier than ever before :)
I have love and I have good health. I have some money problems, but that's secondary.

Being a rare poster, I'll throw in my 2 cents - I've been in a funk for a while. Between school and home, I've been feeling drained. I completely empathize with you Scott. The duplex I have been living in for 5 years is being sold and I only have about a year and a half left of my PhD before I would have needed to move. I really hate moving as well. Once I am settled somewhere, I like to stay until I absolutely have to move. I also love where I am living so it makes it even harder. I am also very sick of school (my experiments are not cooperating). The longer I am at this, the harder it is to keep the enthusiasm. However, I did go on a spectuacular day hike near Lake Tahoe last weekend and that brightened my day (my dog had fun too)!!!

To OrangeBrat - I am so sorry about your marriage. :\

This is so true. And not even that difficult. :)

Well i've bin happy for quite a while now! I have a wicked family who put a smile on my face! I get along with my parents better now then i did in my childhood days! I don't know why, i never use to confide in my parents before but now im getting more confident in doing so!

I'm also happy because i've bin in a long term relationship with my boyfriend for 2yrs 8months! Which is pretty short for me! I love him to bits! I 'm really happy with him and i don't want things to change! We have just got back from holiday! As you all know and my family are wicked, scrugates is amazing his family is amazing and im really happy! Yeah i have had my bad moments but i think if i become more confident then everything would be better!

But yeah at this point in my life i'am really happy! You guys are awesome to talk to too! I didnt think i would fit in here but it has been fun

I agree with Trep and others - age doesn't really matter in a relationship - the most important thing is that you are able to bond both emotionally and physically with your partner :D
My last 5 girlfriends have all been at least 8 years younger than me and we had no trouble communicating - maybe they only worked because I'm a kid at heart?

I have been on a bit of a downer since I split up with my last girlfriend - we had been together for 6 years, which is a long time for me - and I thought she was my soul mate.
It's pretty hard to see her out with someone else, and this happens quite a lot because we have the same group of friends, but I still live in hope that there is someone else out there waiting for me :crazy:

I voted "I don't know", because I should be happy, but mostly I'm very stressed lately. My wedding is in October and my sister (I'm a part of her wedding) is getting married in September. So there are two events not very far apart to organize and endlessly worry about, to get screwed over by the bridal industrial complex over, and to miss the forest for the trees over.

Also, I love my fiance and his family but they can be soo overwhelming and it's hard living on the east coast surrounded by all of them, since I miss my family and friends so much. I really should be focusing on the good things like our honeymoon in Hawaii, but when I do that I start to worry about all my work deadlines that I have to finish up before my wedding...ack!

Oh well, I really shouldn't be whining because life is really very good for me right now, so maybe I'll just take a little step back and try to appreciate the beautiful forest around me.

Yep, I'm happy.
Good enough job, money, great vacations, fond memories, an incredible amount of things to do...

Natalia, I used to live very near Cambridge and worked for Cambridge Health Alliance (combination of Cambridge and Somerville Hospitals). Cambridge is a wonderful city with tons of things to see and do. I'm sure you will come to love it there, if you give it a chance. Boston is huge and with many sections to learn and places to shop. The T gives very good service to Cambridge and Boston to get around, so you don't have to drive much on crowded streets.

I'm sure you are overwhelmed with all the wedding preparations X2, but that will soon be over and after the honeymoon, you will be settling in for real. Take the time to get to know Boston with all of its history and Cambridge for all its kookiness, and you will get out of it much more than you put into it. The two together have a great deal of character to appreciate, more so than many big cities. Best of luck for your upcoming wedding plans.

Lynsie

Thanks for the words of encouragement, Lynsie. They definitely help put things into perspective for me. I do love Cambridge (and thank god we moved here -- the feel of the city is so similar to Berkeley where I used to live).

And while there are moments when I feel like an alien here (like walking home from a Red Sox game amidst a sea of die-hard fans), there are other more quiet moments, like when I'm walking along the Charles in the twilight slanting through the trees lining Memorial Drive that I feel at peace, and think that maybe I can someday call this place home. And Boston is a total jewel of a city, that I definitely have to get to more often (it's a sin really that I don't go more than I do, since it's so close).

I may not have been super happy when I posted my original post here, but I'm definitely happier now. Thanks for the kind words Lynsie, and thanks to the AG web site.

*steps out of sappy shoes now*