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-   -   Are you happy? (https://adventuregamers.com/archive/forums/chit-chat/9752-you-happy.html)

Orange Brat 08-14-2005 01:48 AM

Are you happy?
 
Just what the subject line says. At this point do you feel you are happy with where you're at in life? Or, are you depressed or sad or blue or melancholy about something in particular in or just in general? No need to get specific(none of our business), but if you don't care to spill it then feel free to spill it. :D

Me? I'm not happy at all. I used to be, but I recently went through a divorce, and it was a real heartbreaker for me. It wasn't one of those nice, neat prepackaged kind where one side does something dumb(because they're not happy) and the other side gets the luxury of hating them for it. No, I got the kind where nothing malicious went down and now I'm left empty and don't really know what happened. She just wasn't happy, and neglected to let me know this was going on, and by the time she told me and/or I noticed, it was too late. Seven and a half years together....gone.

To make matters worse, she has moved in with someone else, and only after knowing him for a month and only about a month after the divorce was granted. This person had nothing to do with our splitting up, but it was like a nice swift kick in the nuts.

Anyway, all this BS has affected my output on my adventure game project, The Disenfranchised, and I just hope I can get through this time in my life and move on for the sake of both it and my own emotional well being. :frusty:

insane_cobra 08-14-2005 02:22 AM

I'm very sorry to hear about your marriage. I have no wisdom I could pass on to you to make you feel better, I can't even imagine what it feels like to be with someone for that long. But know this, being alone isn't that bad, especially if you have some other passion in your life to get you through, and it seems you do. Just don't try to shut your feelings down, first have your catharsis and then concentrate on your game :)
You'll be fine.

As for the thread question, it's not that I'm that happy at the moment, but I'm also not unhappy. I'm kind of... content. Taking things as they come.

pinkgothic 08-14-2005 02:57 AM

That's a sad story :( I hope everything works out in the end - however 'it works out' will look. I'm afraid that like cobra, I've no means to speak of experience to cheer you up or that sort of thing. I just hope you can enjoy your life again, somehow, somewhen, and hopefully soon. :)

I'm happy with my life right now. I tend to be happy with it most of the time. :) As funny as that might sound coming from someone who has gothic in their name and to that calls themselves a nihilist. Fact is, though, I'm very fortunate; I rarely get 'properly' ill, I have no financial worries, I'm studying the best possible course I could imagine taking, and I'm in a stable polygamous relationship with a guy and two girls (though due to nationalities, I only live together with the guy, whom y'all know, it's BoyToy of course).

I'm still recovering from a stress shock I had last year-ish, it plunged me a bit into a mid-life crisis (at 20 :shifty: ) of sorts, a "what do I actually want?" sort of phase, but slowly, I'm finding the answers, so all is good :D

Tobbe 08-14-2005 04:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinkgothic
and I'm in a stable polygamous relationship with a guy and two girls

What?? For real??

RLacey 08-14-2005 05:39 AM

I don't think of myself as either happy or unhappy in general. I have moments of each on a regular basis, and I'm guessing that I'm not alone in this.

SamNMax 08-14-2005 05:47 AM

I really don't know know. Mixed emotions.

smashing 08-14-2005 06:10 AM

I'd learned to be happy. Especially so when life is just as absurd as pushing a rock up the hill, only to see it roll down to the other side. :D

Shodan 08-14-2005 07:02 AM

Sorry to hear that, Orange Brat. Couldn't come close to comprehending the heartache, and it puts my own situation into better perspective.

An existential crisis made me move overseas and try to start life again. Two months here, and I haven't seen a single hint of the fantastic changes in life I'd envisioned myself having. Makes me wonder why I still continuously squander my dad's money in the process of "living".

Less depressing but just as anxiety-inducing is finding a place to live. After looking at countless crappy linoleum-floored floored apartments from seventies hell, I finally found the perfect apartment the other day. Now all I'm doing is waiting very, very anxiously for the real estate agent to tell me whether my application for it has been accepted or not. I'm actually coming to dread this. Just once, it would be nice not to be rejected...

SamNMax 08-14-2005 08:22 AM

I'm not very happy. Though that doesn't mean I'm sad. I'm pretty emotionless at places like school, and that makes a lot of people think I'm depressed, which is not the case. I'm godless. I'm hateful. That doesn't make for a happy child, I admit. But why should I be sad? I know many people think of me as cynical. I don't like to think of it that way. I see myself as someone who sees reality a lot clearer than most people. I'm sorry to say, it's not a happy place. But then again, so what? I have no reason to be sad. But that's just because of three things in my life. I really think that if it wasn't for these forums, adventure games, or comics, I 'wouldnt have the will to go on.

lumi 08-14-2005 08:29 AM

I voted that I don't know. I don't have much to worry about, but I also don't have anything to be happy about. I think it'll be more clear for me once I graduate college (in a year), and then I'll know how my future is looking.

Sage 08-14-2005 08:35 AM

Orange Brat, I'm so sorry to hear about your troubles. On that account, insane_cobra seems to have taken the words right out of my mouth, and I can add nothing to his words of comfort and advice except to say that I agree with him wholeheartedly.
Am I happy? A little.
I will soon have to move because the apartments where I live are being sold and will be torn down to make way for luxury condominiums, so that's a bit of a downer. I truly hate moving, and I've collected a phenomenal amount of crap over the eight years I've lived here that will have to be sifted through ruthlessly and without emotion.
My job is currently very stressful because my immediate boss has raised nit-picking to an art form, and frequently displays an astonishing gift for focusing on the least important aspect of any given situation. However, I just spent the last week in the company of my corporate big bosses, and they and I seem to see eye-to-eye, so in the big picture I'm in good standing. Perhaps my immediate boss will move on to another position and will be replaced with someone who has a clue.
I haven't dated anyone in years, but spent this past week in close quarters in the company of someone with whom I got along famously from the moment we met. They're already spoken for (of course), but this does give me renewed hope that there might be someone out there for me after all, which is a good thing. Missing someone so strongly after only (*checks clock*) 27 hours apart has inspired me to renew my search for a "significant other" in a more active fashion.
Overall, I'd say I'm a little happy, but I'm trying to improve that score. :)

ScottMate

Intrepid Homoludens 08-14-2005 09:57 AM

Bratsie (may I call you that? Pleeeeez?), the only thing I can tell you at this point is to give yourself permission to at least do something, anything, good for yourself every single day. I mean it, every single day. It could be anything at all - going out very early in the morning for a jog or a stroll and watching the sun break the horizon, or treating yourself to gelato, or paying someone a compliment (yes, this actually makes you feel better!). The road to happiness begins deep inside and works its way out. Be honest with yourself.

I voted 'a little'. I'm actually by the ocean at this moment. big R and I spontaneously decided to come over to spend the remainder of the weekend at his brother's beach house on the Oregon coast (not far from Newport, it's just an hour's drive). We just took the stinky old dog for a walk on the beach this morning. I'd say right now I'm more relaxed than anything. In the grandest scheme of things I'm very happy with my life, but I know I can do better to sustain it. I'm in love, I live simply and comfortably, and things are happening gradually, at the pace I prefer. I'll eventually get to shift gears with myself and speed my progress up a bit. I'm working on writing an illustrated children's book for grownups (a kind of self-help, philosophical primer), hopefully get some publisher to take it. Sometime in the near future I want to do volunteer work. I'm more satisfied helping others to be good in ways I know how, and I'll get there on my own pace.

Wormsie 08-14-2005 10:12 AM

Bad things: I went through a rather brief but very intense relationship recently. The guy was nice, we had a good time and we would have fitted well together, but the relationship itself, as in the situation in which we were in, was just plain awful. Breaking up hurts.

Good things: Without that relationship I might not have learned that I can enjoy just doing various things by myself. It's important for me to think that I have friends who are there for me when I need them, but I now have the courage to do things all by myself as well.

I was happy when I was with him, now I've returned back to the state in which I was before that relationship, except that I don't feel as lonely as I used to feel.

School is also going to hell.

So I'm not happy.

em-deecee 08-14-2005 10:40 AM

For the most part, yes.
Zoloft & Welbutrin have had a lot to do with that.
Screw what Tom Cruise thinks!

pinkgothic 08-14-2005 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by t_manelius
What?? For real??

No, I spontaneously made it up. :shifty: Meh, of course it's for real. :) It's just a bit restricted thanks to the physical distance to my two girls, but occasionally, I get to see them in the flesh, so that's nice, and offers oppurtunities, to, ahm... catch up on what we've missed. :D

Honestly, though, now I feel a bit awkward after you said that. Is it really so rare to find a working polygamous relationship? :crazy: *nervous shifting* *didn't find it hard establishing hers, but maybe the brutal honesty has something to do with that* >.>;

AFGNCAAP 08-14-2005 11:28 AM

But... but, your saying that the relationship is "stable" made it sound like there is definitely no place for noone else. And that hurted some of us... :frown:

:D

Does BoyToy plan to return to the forums, BTW?

EDIT: Okay, so this "BTW" was ambiguous in that context. No, I don't have any dating plans involving BoyToy. :shifty:

Sage 08-14-2005 11:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinkgothic
No, I spontaneously made it up. :shifty: Meh, of course it's for real. :) It's just a bit restricted thanks to the physical distance to my two girls, but occasionally, I get to see them in the flesh, so that's nice, and offers oppurtunities, to, ahm... catch up on what we've missed. :D

Honestly, though, now I feel a bit awkward after you said that. Is it really so rare to find a working polygamous relationship? :crazy: *nervous shifting* *didn't find it hard establishing hers, but maybe the brutal honesty has something to do with that* >.>;

Pinkgothic, you rock! I love a woman who's honest about what she likes and isn't afraid to pursue it. If I weren't old enough to be your father and if I didn't live thousands of miles away from you, I would ask you out myself!

ScottMate

pinkgothic 08-14-2005 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AFGNCAAP
But... but, your saying that the relationship is "stable" made it sound like there is definitely no place for noone else. And that hurted some of us... :frown:

:D

:D *stuffs AFGNCAAP into her relationship, too* (Well, rather not, it can get a bit messy here :D )

Quote:

Originally Posted by AFGNCAAP
Does BoyToy plan to return to the forums, BTW?

Technically. :shifty: *will remind him of his plans when he returns from the dreaded McDonalds*

Quote:

Originally Posted by AFGNCAAP
EDIT: Okay, so this "BTW" was ambiguous in that context. No, I don't have any dating plans involving BoyToy. :shifty:

*laughs* Actually I think I'm far too naive - I never would have understood it that way, I'm far too used to mentioning it whenever I say his name, so this made no difference. Though you're right, now that I analyse it, the BTW does make it sound a bit suspicious :D

Not that I'd mind if you did have that wish. I'm no hypocrit. I can share. :D

pinkgothic 08-14-2005 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thrift Store Scott
Pinkgothic, you rock! I love a woman who's honest about what she likes and isn't afraid to pursue it. If I weren't old enough to be your father and if I didn't live thousands of miles away from you, I would ask you out myself!

*pout*

*briefly remembers Sulley's "I am old enough to be your father" and tears out her hair as she starts a general rant* Why, oh why, is it that age makes so much of a bloody difference? Looks don't matter, ethnics don't matter, nationality doesn't matter, most of the time opinions don't matter too much, either, people always say it's the personality, but age is the one topic where everyone suddenly finds an excuse to distance themselves.

Bah. :D

*proudly snuggles her age-less loves (though for those that must know, 34, 21 [me], 28, 25, and I've wanted a couple of 40+ boyfriends, though that didn't work out - in hopes that doesn't count as "too much information")*

Though, in the end, I do realise there's the whole "the bigger the age difference, the more likely it is one of those in the relationship will have to spend a lot of time without the other", and that sucks, so I'm not entirely without understanding. But given I'm the youngest of the lot, and younger than most people I've ever asked out, it's amazing they'd be voicing it as an argument. :P

Now that I'm done mindlessly ranting...

Thank you, Scott. :) I am, in fact, deeply flattered, even if for a moment my urge to rant was a bit bigger than my urge to blush. Please excuse my abusing your statement to make such a general rant. :crazy:

lumi 08-14-2005 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinkgothic
Technically. :shifty: *will remind him of his plans when he returns from the dreaded McDonalds*

I've got a new avatar for him when he returns.

http://students.washington.edu/mtwall/flateric.gif


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