[MoonBird]

Post here your most hilarious or otherwise memorable one-liner quotes 
Here’s my ones:

”I’m just..ah..planning for the future, is all.”
[Rincewind - Discworld]

”It must be a plot element - otherwise there’d be a better label.”
[Rincewind - Discworld]

”Oh, please don’t get started on the pickels again!”
[Rincewind - Discworld]

”Bernard... float over here so I can punch you.”
[Hoagie - Day Of The Tentacle]

"This must be that Woodstock-place mom and dad are always talking about”
[Laverne - Day Of The Tentacle]

”I like trees and everything, but this one has got to go!”
[Laverne - Day Of The Tentacle]

”I’m thinking of a number between one and ten and I don’t know why.”
[Sam - Sam & Max: Hit The Road]

”I hope there was nobody on that bus.”
[Sam - Sam & Max: Hit The Road]

”My point exactly.”
[Street Beggar - Discworld]

”Wait! It hasn’t been THAT tough!”
[Flux - Toonstruck]

”A Pencil, freshly sharpened... these Germans...”
[John Russell - Unercover: Operation Wintersun]

”No! I’m not gonna take that ‘Your father has to be dead before we can look for him’ -crap again!”
[Nina Kalenkov - Secret Files: Tunguska]

”No, of course it isn’t dangerous, it’s the start of the game. They can’t kill us off yet!”
[Rincewind - Discworld II]

”No, I mean the CAR was travelling too fast!”
[George Stobbart - Broken Sword I]

”Certainly, sir. Which word would you like? May I recommend ‘goodbye’?”
[Footman - Toonstruck]

”Thanks. You speak very good english for American.”
[Nicole Collard - Broken Sword I]

”Can you believe this fucking weather? I mean shit! It was 60 yesterday!”
[Black cop - Still Life]

”That pig tried to buy you!? Oh man! That Does it!”
[Mark Hopper - Teen Agent]

”No Thanks, I’m not horny.” (when trying to take a horn from the wall)
[Mark Hopper - Teen Agent]

”For the last time: I DON’T WANT THAT STUPID HAND PUPPET!”
[Joe King - Flight Of The Amazon Queen]

”Maybe later.” (several times in the game)
[Samuel Gordon - Black Mirror I]

”Damn good coffee!”
[Dr. Fred - Day Of The Tentacle]

”Tempting, but no thanks. There’s file in my life labelled ‘army’, and it’s closed.”
[Fenton Paddock - Lost Horizon]

”This is Bruno, my personal toothache.”
[Leonardo De Toledo - Murder In The Abbey]

”God said ‘Let there be light’ but Jesus couldn’t find the lightswitch.”
[Jack Orlando - Jack Orlando]

”I see that you don’t know much about this begging business. You see, you are supposed to give ME money. Not the other way ‘round.”
[Henri - Touché: Adventures Of The 5th musketeer]

”Now who would break my christmas ornaments!?”
[Zanthia - Legend Of Kyrandia 2: Hand Of Fate]

”I’m just a cleaning droid, remember?”
[Joey - Beneath A Steel Sky]

”You’re telling me? Take one, please. Take the whole roll!” (when telling the shop keeper that could have a use for a breath mint)
[Shop keeper - The Secret Of Monkey Island]

”Oh my god, did he manage to bring his pantaloons to conversation again?”
[Ben - Whispered World]

”...and don’t cross the road, until the little man shows green.”
[Sargent Moue - Broken Sword I]

"I'm called Henri... well, actually i'm called a lot of things, but Henri is the only one I answer to."
[Henri - Touché: Adventures Of The 5th Musketeer]

"All right, then. ROLL! ROLL through the gates of hell... must you take the fun out of everything?"
[Murray - Curse Of The Monkey Island]