Nathaniel's sister appearing when he's dead is a known bug, you're supposed to get an alternate quest to re-enter the deep roads and its slightly different, though no less dull than Nathaniel's mission.
Rivalmanced Sebastian may be more vocally responsive to Hawke's sleazy advances but he still won't show up at her mansion one night to knock boots. He'll still beg off, only this time its because he wants to be prince of Starkhaven first and 'worthy' of her.
As mentioned before, he'll insist she be nominated as Viscount and their union be a union of cities, but the viscount content seems all but scrapped and nothing comes of it.
There is no Sebastian loving, but despite what the guidebooks say I had a fem-Hawke who slept with Isabela for fun, with Fenris and let him leave, then with Anders and refused to let him live rent free in her mansion (look on his face was priceless), then picked up with Sebastian and had him talking marriage and unions after a few ribald come ons.
Maybe he was just putting her off delicately with talk of wealth and power, clever man.
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