[Intrepid Homoludens]

My heart goes out to you and Amunda, Panthera. Whatever happens, be grateful for each and every day you've been, and will be, gifted with her. Eleven years is such a long time to have been enriched with her presence in your life if you think about it.

You're very lucky. My Seal Point Siamese cat, Moss, had liver failure himself when he was only five years old, and died shortly after. The very last time I saw him alive was at the animal hospital. I held his head in my hand, I could barely recognize him. He seemed completely catatonic (no pun intended) until that one profound moment, when he craned his neck, looked up at me, and said, "Maeewooww...". I think that was his final farewell. Later that night, when I was at my ex's place, I finally had to make the decision to have him put to sleep. When I called the hospital at around 10:20, the nurse sounded like she was crying, and then she told me. Moss died about 20 minutes before. I thanked her and put the phone down, and looked at my ex and said, "Bastard beat me to it," while I tried to smile. He broke down in tears. I was destroyed but remained calm, eventually weeping myself to sleep.

That was over ten years ago and I still think about him these days - not with sadness, but with gratitude and a smile. He was - and in a way, still is - an incredible friend to me.

EDIT: Cripeys, that's what I get for writing this. My eyes welled up in tears again.