Hiya AGers!
You know I really do enjoy the writting and friendly atmosphere that is produced dy all of you. You make a redneck just as welcome as a Namibian, Even though this redneck accidentally steps on a few toes.
Im sitting here reading and I cannot help but feel at least partially akin to you all. Me and my family went through a few problems a few years back and me in my infinate wisdom moved them all to Kentucky from Texas to be closer to my mother for some reason that did not hit me till I had been here for a few months. God had sent me here.
Now I have to tell you folks that I was practically an Athiest before all this happened here. I'm still far from a bible thumpin, standing on the pulpit, telling others how to live person. I favor no established religion but I have deep feelings for Christ teachings, not Christian Doctrin as it's set up now but the teachings in all the Gospels are dear to my heart, even the Gospels eradicated from the Bible.
I also found God in of all things math. I was reading about the string theory one time. String theory is a set of formulae that is like the one in Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy for all Physics. It is a formula in which all things come together. Only problem is you cannot prove it in a controled enviroment, believe me this causes all sorts of crap and denials that it's possible because it cannot be proven. The only way for String Theory to work is by believing it does, you have to have FAITH that it is real. For some reason this struck me profoundly.
Now the reason I think God brought me here is my mother. After we had settled down we found that she had breast cancer. This was a blow to me since I had the Super Mom image of her and it was a grueling year and a half but we managed okay and thought it was licked. All things settled down and me and my family were considering moving back to Texas. For some reason the money situation didn't work out the way we had hoped and we were stuck once again. them mom was striken with cancer in her liver and back. We thought that was going well but what we found out later that she was holding back the facts from us so as not to hurt us, it had spread through her body and also in her brain. She wasn't going to live and she knew this for about 6 months, never telling us or my step father. She passed away last month.
Some will say that it was coincedence that I came and then I had to stay but for some reason I cannot. If not for my new found faith and my loving wife and family (Whom I thank god for every day, even when I'm mad) I know that I would have gone insane. The pain is there still, it's really hard to shake, but I make it.
Now for the thank you's. I have not been here but a little while but you guys are great! The way I deal with pain alot is through humor and you give here as good as you get. I just wanted you to know that I really appreciate it all.
Well thanks for listening and you folks hava goodun!
Paul,
The P in RLPW
