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Squinky · 09-25-2006, 10:47 PM

Dear AG Community Blog,

I think I've forgotten how to have close friends. By "close friends", I mean people with whom you can talk about your feelings, rather than just your thoughts. I haven't had friends like these for a while - the last person I really poured my heart out to was my ex-boyfriend, and we stopped speaking about a year ago.

An old Internet buddy I kind of lost touch with over the last few months IMed me last week, and to my great surprise, we actually managed to have a really good conversation - the kind I used to have all the time with those I termed "close friends". Quite frankly, it shocked me. It brought the comfortable hermit-like existence I'd been living in my head completely out of whack, and now I feel more than a little disoriented.

I used to expect nothing. I used to expect no one to understand me, but now, there's at least one person out there in the world who maybe does, and I don't know how to react to this. I don't know what to expect of such a person; I'm scared to expect too much, because it'll likely result in pain.

But then again, all change, even good change, is stressful. Despite the fear and confusion, I welcome this change. It'll make my life a lot more interesting than it currently is.

And now that I've freaked out the AG community enough with my hopes, fears, and insecurities, I'll shut up now. Goodbye.

Love,
Squinky

09-25-2006, 10:47 PM	#2
Squinky Unreliable Narrator Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Le Canada Posts: 9,873	Dear AG Community Blog, I think I've forgotten how to have close friends. By "close friends", I mean people with whom you can talk about your feelings, rather than just your thoughts. I haven't had friends like these for a while - the last person I really poured my heart out to was my ex-boyfriend, and we stopped speaking about a year ago. An old Internet buddy I kind of lost touch with over the last few months IMed me last week, and to my great surprise, we actually managed to have a really good conversation - the kind I used to have all the time with those I termed "close friends". Quite frankly, it shocked me. It brought the comfortable hermit-like existence I'd been living in my head completely out of whack, and now I feel more than a little disoriented. I used to expect nothing. I used to expect no one to understand me, but now, there's at least one person out there in the world who maybe does, and I don't know how to react to this. I don't know what to expect of such a person; I'm scared to expect too much, because it'll likely result in pain. But then again, all change, even good change, is stressful. Despite the fear and confusion, I welcome this change. It'll make my life a lot more interesting than it currently is. And now that I've freaked out the AG community enough with my hopes, fears, and insecurities, I'll shut up now. Goodbye. Love, Squinky __________________ Squinky is always right, but only for certain values of "always" and "right".