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Old 09-25-2006, 10:47 PM   #2
Squinky
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Join Date: Apr 2004
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Dear AG Community Blog,

I think I've forgotten how to have close friends. By "close friends", I mean people with whom you can talk about your feelings, rather than just your thoughts. I haven't had friends like these for a while - the last person I really poured my heart out to was my ex-boyfriend, and we stopped speaking about a year ago.

An old Internet buddy I kind of lost touch with over the last few months IMed me last week, and to my great surprise, we actually managed to have a really good conversation - the kind I used to have all the time with those I termed "close friends". Quite frankly, it shocked me. It brought the comfortable hermit-like existence I'd been living in my head completely out of whack, and now I feel more than a little disoriented.

I used to expect nothing. I used to expect no one to understand me, but now, there's at least one person out there in the world who maybe does, and I don't know how to react to this. I don't know what to expect of such a person; I'm scared to expect too much, because it'll likely result in pain.

But then again, all change, even good change, is stressful. Despite the fear and confusion, I welcome this change. It'll make my life a lot more interesting than it currently is.

And now that I've freaked out the AG community enough with my hopes, fears, and insecurities, I'll shut up now. Goodbye.

Love,
Squinky
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