GreenJeanz hasn't shown her face around here in a while so I thought, why don't I share a little bit of self-loathing, written as a chastising tirade I give myself... Sorry, sorry, sorry, bad joke...
Ok, you need to get your shit together, man. This is not a traditional school and you don't want to do traditional stuff anyway. And yet the
traditionality of your sculptures some people bring into question. Videotaping spinning hubcaps welded to a crutch with meaningless poetry read in the background in an annoyingly profound tone is what they deem groundbreaking. No, it's not. It's bona-fide crap.
What do you want to do with yourself? Do you have any prospects whatsoever? The bureaucracy, the hell on earth... And you have no money stashed aside for places like Cal Arts or Full Sail... Everybody and their monkey-uncle masturbate to this image of artists as poor dysfunctional suckers who starve and have no personal lives FOR THEIR ART! When in fact they are rich recluses who fell in love with Bohemian existence. Theo Van Gogh supported his brother AND Gauguin with his lucrative gallery business that held crappy Academic art that sold like hotcakes. And, you, you don't know how to deal with money. You never really tried to. Money scares you, you silly little motherfucker. That is probably the only reason you support socialism and want free higher education for all who qualify: you don't know how to handle money. You may know about trends of macroeconomics, and the crystalline lattices of diamonds but when it comes to paying bills and figuring how much money you need for life, day-to-day, you freeze, time and again. And when faced with these incapacitating problems, you don't try to solve them - hell, that would be too easy, you wretch - you try to avoid them! How fucked up is that! And the sorriest thing of all, you have pinpointed your problem, but you aren't trying to prevent it!!!
Perhaps I just don't know how and am too fucked up to ask for help... it all seems so easy in theory: you take the money now, then go to school, then pay it off through the nose for the next 669 years. Something is doomed to misfire in that plan... What if big-name art schools are not panaceas that you imagine them to be?
You wanted a
liberal education in the arts, not just simple fast-track school where they'll teach you ONLY how to design left flanks of milk cartons. You have nothing against milk carton designing, so it seems, but you hate the lack of wider learning you used to associate with higher education... and then you reach the university and realize that this is almost
'High School Part Two: the Sequel'!
Stop. Shaking. True, you have done all this crap, looked at art schools once before and you have broken telephones in ire and cursed at your parents... and that took you nowhere... stupid visa problems, stupid governmental regulations, stupid money that you don't have, stupid failing economy, stupid underdeveloped artwork... You don't want to
be an artist, par se, you want to
work in the entertainment industry. All euphemisms aside, you want to be a whore. Get your shit together! Stop wasting time and being useless! And swallow a fucking aspirin, our head hurts!
*Deep sigh*
