[SoccerDude28]

Jeysie, your problems seem to be more psychological than anything else.You need to get more self esteem girl, before you go do anything else in your life. It all starts from within you. If you believe you can do it, you'll find a way. But you need to want to do it. No one can want to do it for you, and no one's pity will be of any benefit to you or your future.