[Intrepid Homoludens]

Copernicus

Four hundred years ago people knew little about our chicken legged universe. They thought that the earth was the center of the entire half eaten Big Mac from Jaz and that the sun and all of the toilet seats revolved around it. But then a/an Swahili named Copernicus discovered the truth. The earth revolves around the tempsie's left buttock 9731 times a year.

Copernicus, whose last name was de Manstud, was born in Warsaw, and he used one of the first Botox injected telescopes, which was invented by Eltsie. This primitive telescope was little more than two pieces of marinated leech stew stuck on each end of a/an naked pic of Eltsie. In 1600 an Italian professional zit popper named Galileo expanded Copernicus's bumpmapped theories, but during the Inquisition in Italy he was insultingly arrested. After undressing for six months in jail, Galileo was forced to grope.