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Old 03-10-2005, 09:02 AM   #33
Terabin
Tell me This is It
 
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Twin Cities, MN
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For me, marriage is more than just a thing connected to the state. The legal institution of marriage is one thing. But I see marriage in the basic terms of a lifelong commitment to one person; thus it doesn't matter if you have done the legal stuff.

I think I'll want to be married if I ever have children. I think a solid and recognizable commitment, perhaps more than just a verbal commitment, is helpful for encouraging couples to stay together and resort to breaking up as a last option, because it's messy to get a divorce. I'm of the opinion that it's better for raising children if you stay together. Of course, if its a horrible situation between a couple, then perhaps a divorce is a better way to go, even for the children. Ultimately, I think people should know what the hell they're doing when the have children. They should be in a stable relationship, whether or not its marriage.

It's kind of scary to think about a child's life taking precedence over the decisions one might make in a relationship. For example, someone might sacrifice personal happiness to stay together for their children. That's what my grandparents did. Once all of their four children moved out, they got a divorce. I'm not sure how an earlier divorce would have hurt/helped the situation. Even though the divorce happened when the kids were moved out, it was still harmful. Maybe it would've been worse for the kids if the divorce happened when the kids were still at home. Bottom line: messy.
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