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Stars - 5

Rating by emric posted on May 30, 2012 | edit | delete

i have trouble even thinking of this as a 'game'. avoid it!

this is undoubtedly one of the worst “games” i’ve ever played. the most fun i had with ‘crime stories’ was when i could finally click on “uninstall” so that it would no longer be a blight on my hard drive.

it seemed like the developers, Artematica, had gone out of their way to make their game frustrating and un-fun to play. I mean you’d actually have to ‘try’ to put this many faults in an adventure game:

it has severe pixel hunting issues, it forces your character to walk slowly across screens, the double-click to change screen instantly feature only works in some instances, the inventory only comes up when you click on the ‘I’ icon twice (?!), the main character is boorish and unlikable, there’s no volume control at all, there are so many hotspots in some locations you’d be searching forever to work out what you’re meant to be doing, save games are only represented by small screen thumbnails which you can hardly tell apart…

but my favourite is this: the dialogue is presented

line by line and the ill-placed breaks are

actually present in the vocal delivery (!?)

the entire game reads like a feature-length teleprompter delay gag.

i don’t know how this game was ever released. but i feel i’ve significantly contributed to society if this review discourages even one person from playing ‘crime stories’ in the future.

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Time Played: 10-20 hours

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