Here’s my experience with Fahrenheit: Start the game up, try to set highest graphics settings. It takes a while because you can’t see all the options and then choose what you want, you have to scroll one by one, have the game apply them, then keep going. Once everything is configured, I fire up the tutorial. Immediately I’m assaulted by awful controls. First of all, the movement controls for the keyboard/mouse are not WASD, but rather the arrow keys. Fair enough, you can remap.
Then, you find out only “W” really moves you - the other buttons turn. So, it’s the Grim Fandango control scheme, because that was such a huge success. But wait, where’s the “mouse” in the keyboard/mouse control? Then you discover that you can use the mouse to pan the camera or rotate it around you, two very useful movements for sure. Almost as good as, you know, actually looking around.
To throw a final insult your way, the game shows that it’s perfectly capable of displaying a first-person view—but you can’t move during it.
The next stage in the tutorial shows you how to perform actions. At first it looks like a Wiimote-style game, where you turn the controller around to open doors and the such. But then you find out the year is actually 1989 and you’re playing Winter Olympics, because to exert your character, you have to quickly tap two keys on the keyboard.
If that’s not bad enough, next come the quicktime events. A car is approaching and you need to quickly dodge to the left. So you click left, and get run over. No worry, try again. Try again, get run over. Try the mouse, get run over. Try the “4” key, get run over. Try clicking furiously from the get-go. Try clicking at the latest possible moment. Over and over you click, hearing the game ring in response, then get run over.
So you exit the tutorial and Google for it. And guess what, every single person who’s played the tutorial gets stuck there - because you’re supposed to press BOTH left keys, a fact which is neither indicated by the text, nor the visual representation.
I was still willing to try and start playing this awful mess, except I found out I would have to restart the tutorial despite having enabled autosave, and that was the final straw. This is clearly not a game, but simply an experiment in terrible camera and control scheme, interspersed with repeated deaths and finger strain. It might have the greatest plot of all time, but I will never know, as the game is clearly unplayable.
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Time Played: Under 1 hour