Adventure Gamers - Forums

>pull cord
You raise the blind.

>wear headphones
The platyPod fits nicely in your ears and against your forehead.  It is switched off.

You are distracted by Julia saying especially loudly, “You’ve been working out.  I’ve noticed.”

Oh no.

>scrunch brow
My voice: “Look, it even lets you record a start-up message!  How the platyPod works: You cycle through the different playlists by RAISING your left or right eyebrow.  NOD to skip to the next track.  JIGGLE your head clockwise to turn the volume up, and jiggle it anticlockwise to turn it down.”

The platyPod turns on.  A mechanical Aussie voice announces, “Now playing ‘MC Dingo: Straight Outta Down Under’” You groan, because you are like every other parochial American who refuses to give Australian hip-hop a proper chance.

The volume is low.  You can still sometimes hear Julia and Historic Pfister across the hall.

TimovieMan - 18 September 2016 08:14 AM

Should we have put the book in the cabinet with the internet cable???

I don’t think so. It’s a fairly modern game, meaning it’s not as unforgiving as the old text adventures.

>jiggle clockwise
You move your head in cute little clockwise circles.  The volume is now so loud that you cannot hear Julia and Historic Pfister at all.

You stop suddenly and mutter “I’m such an idiot!”  Is this about the bag again?  Let it go.  We’ve talked about how obsessive self-loathing is maybe not so attractive.

>write
(first sitting on chair)
I’m so glad we are done having to listen to Julia and Historic Pfister.  You start back on the first sentence.  “Among the most confounding aspects of contemporary…”  “Among the most confounding…”  Ugh.  The music is SO LOUD.  It’s like trying to write while sitting next to the amps at a hip-hop concert.

(last try: too loud to concentrate)

>raise right eyebrow
A mechanical Aussie voice announces, “Now playing Professor Detective: The Novel.”

>write
The volume on the platyPod is too loud for you to concentrate.

Not to be morbid, but it’s too bad you aren’t a bit hard of hearing.  Then the platyPod could block out the remaining noise without being too loud.

Professor Detective explains to Undergraduate Constable Duffy that a murderer who escapes justice will invariably kill again, and the same logic applies to plagiarists.

Oscar - 18 September 2016 12:10 PM

Hard of hearing, eh?

Yeah, a hint that comes with a crowbar, as we say in Dutch. Maybe in English too, I don’t know.

>remove headphones
The platyPod automatically turns off when you remove it.

You look over at the book and fret.  Budgie, you’ve had the book for at least two weeks, and it’s only today, when you really must write, that you start feeling it’s urgent for you to read.

>put gum in ears
Ick.  And yet, maybe ingenious.  But the gum is all dried.  It’s not going to stick in your ears like that.

>wear platypod
The platyPod fits nicely in your ears and against your forehead.  It is switched off.

You are distracted by Julia squealing, “Wait, it’s your birthday, too?  Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

>write
I appreciate the attempt, but you’re not going to be able to write as long as you have to listen to Julia and Historic Pfister across the hall.

>take off platyPod
You take off the platyPod.

You’re looking out the window again.  A pirate with a sword attacks a zombie who protects himself with surprising agility for the recently reanimated.  Another pirate affixes a mast to the top of the van.  Still another hunches beside the van sticking a fake wooden leg over his real leg.

>chew gum
When I made you try it before, you said that it tastes sort of like American bubble gum, only if one added soy sauce, pieces of pickled meat, and a bit of blood. 

And add to that now a strong mildew taste.  Yuck.  You gag and spit the gum back out.

>put gum in ears
You are marvellous.  The gum does not block out all sound, but some.  You can still hear Julia and Historic Pfister when they are being especially loud.

You glance over at the book again and actually whinge out loud, “But I’ll keep wondering if I’m missing something if I don’t read it.”

>wear platyPod
The platyPod still fits well, as the earpieces nestle nicely into the gum.  The platyPod is switched off.

>scrunch brow
My voice: “Look, it even lets you record a start-up message!  How the platyPod works: You cycle through the different playlists by RAISING your left or right eyebrow.  NOD to skip to the next track.  JIGGLE your head clockwise to turn the volume up, and jiggle it anticlockwise to turn it down.”

The platyPod turns on.  The platyPod clicks and the nondescript melodies of Primrose Meanwell begin once more.

The volume is on low, and it’s even lower with the gum in your ears.  Nonetheless, you can still sometimes faintly hear Julia and Historic Pfister across the hall.

You are distracted by a startled grunt from Historic Pfister.  I do not believe this is happening.

>jiggle clockwise
You move your head in adorable little clockwise circles.  The volume is still not that loud given the gum in your ears, but you can no longer hear Julia and Historic Pfister at all.  Hee.  Take that, Julia!

>write
I’m so glad we are done having to listen to Julia and Historic Pfister.  You start back on the first sentence.  “Among the most confounding aspects of contemporary…”  “Among the most confounding…”  Ugh. 

You are looking toward the door and inhaling deeply.  The perfume!

I agree that it’s appealing, but so much so as to keep you from being able to construct a coherent sentence?  I think it’s wishful to imagine that I would actually be so sanguine about this.

(last try: distracted by perfume)

>l
Bear in mind that, meanwhile, I’m using the walk-in closet of our apartment as a “studio.”

You’ve a quite large desk in front of a window, a gorgeous yellow chair, a cabinet in one corner, an absurdly large cactus in another, and a tall bookcase on the back wall with a sadly broken stool.  The door is west.

On the desk are your computer, my itinerary, a framed knockout and a pile you cannot even contemplate.  The bookcase holds a book.  A wastebasket is on the floor. 

Primrose sings about how she likes to write in her journal. 

>i
You’re carrying a rubber square, a lighter, an empty plastic bottle, a notebook, a stupendously intricate origami trophy and a smartly-done snowglobe, and you’re wearing the platyPod. In the rubber square’s “pouch” is a small chip.

You also have gum in your ears.

>x pile
It’s detritus from teaching, a couple unfinished side projects, and the earlier dissertation topic that you asked We Never Speak Of Again.  It’s been accumulating and now makes you feel too overwhelmed even to contemplate.

Except today, when you absolutely must write, you are feeling an overwhelming urge to tidy it.

>search pile
What you really feel compelled to do with the pile is tidy it.

Julia’s stupid perfume again.  Remember when she was all excited to meet Lucy’s brother after she heard he was a pheromone scientist?

Another crowbar-hint… here we go:

>tidy pile
You pick up one thing, then put it back down.  You pick up another then put that down.  You start thinking that what you really need is comprehensive office-straightening solution.  You’re thinking about making a diagram, maybe a spreadsheet.

STOP.  This is not what you should be doing today.

Out of the pile, however, you do pick up a potato gem.