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The bad jokes thread

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Alright, I should’ve probably just binned this one, but for some reason, I thought I’d share it in this thread. It’s about “Fahrenheit: The Indigo Prophecy” and it’s pretty bad! Bad enough not to share it in the playthrough thread. I want to maintain at least a minimum level of respect for the game and the CPT in general.

Agatha: “Tell me, what is your cage like?”

Lucas: “Well, he’s pretty creative, bit obsessed with QTEs, “the Matrix” and other people urinating, though.”

     
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Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?

He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

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I enjoy playing adventure games on my Alienware M17 r4 and my Nintendo Switch OLED.

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@Adv_lvr Grin

Lady Kestrel - 13 September 2020 08:58 PM

The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar.  It was tense.

This is legit and I’m adding it to my repertoire.

Here’s a VP joke.

Why did the Fruitarians disrupt the Vegetable Party Convention?

They were trying to stir up bananarchy.

     
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What’s a vampire’s favourite ice cream flavour?

Vienilla

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I enjoy playing adventure games on my Alienware M17 r4 and my Nintendo Switch OLED.

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I was on the train this morning and a guy sat down next to me and showed me a picture of his wife. ‘She’s hot, isn’t she?’ He said.
I said, ‘If you think she’s hot, you should see my wife!’
‘Is she beautiful too?’ He asked.
‘No,’ says I, ‘She’s an optometrist.

     

Player, purveyor, and propagator of smart toys and games for all ages.
Facebook.com/weplayfaves
IG @weplayfaves

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What do you call a dwarf seer who escaped prison?
A small medium at large.

I told my friend “you have a BA, a masters and a PHD but you are still an idiot”.
It was a third degree burn.

David lost his ID so we started calling him Dav.

You can’t hear when a pterodactyl goes to the bathroom. The P is silent.

Why hasn’t america changed from lbs to kg? Because there would be mass confusion.

What word has 5 letters but becomes shorter when you add 2 more?
Short!

Why don’t optometrists say jokes?
Because they are all cornea jokes.


I’ve always wanted to visit the Grand Canyon.
I hear it is just gorges.

     
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As with the previous CPT, one joke that really is better off over here:

Nelly to Admiral Woebegone: “How did you end up in the Toff races?”

“Well, Theresa resigned and it seemed like fun..”

     
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If you’re American when you go in the bathroom…

… and American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?

European.

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I enjoy playing adventure games on my Alienware M17 r4 and my Nintendo Switch OLED.

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What do you call someone who tells a dad joke who isn’t a dad?
A faux pa

What do you call a belt made of watches?
A waist of time

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two tired.

What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta

     

Carpe chocolate.

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Lady Kestrel, I think you’re going off-topic..

..because those jokes are great.

     
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You’re easy to please, VP!  I think they’re funny too.

     

Carpe chocolate.

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Regarding my last comment, I found an appropriate t-shirt saying:
My mind still thinks I’m 29.  My sense of humor thinks I’m 12. Grin

     

Carpe chocolate.

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Geology rocks but geography is where it’s at.

A burglar walked into an art gallery and demanded “Give me all your Monet”.

To whoever invented the number 0. “Thanks for nothing “

Two thieves stole a calendar. They each got 6 months.

I started reading a scary book in braille. Something bad is about to happen. I can feel it.

The only thing flat-earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

What’s the difference between a scruffy man on a bike and a well dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.

What do you call a bug in a religious group? Insect.

Eating a clock takes a long time. It’s time consuming.

My medication makes me lean to the left and lean to the right. It’s the side effects.

Some people have everything handed to them on a plate. I bet they really struggle with soup.

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall and now he expects winter to be better.

Whoever stole my copy of MS Office I will find you. You have my word.

6:30 is the best time on a clock hands down.

     
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