February 1st, 2001
Dear Small Game Developer,
Hello there. I am Anonymous Adventure Fan. I read today that you are going to be developing an adventure game. Being the huge devoted fan of the genre that I am, I was very excited to hear this. All of the companies that used to make good adventure games are greedy suckbag sellouts and don’t care about their true fans anymore, so it’s nice to hear someone still wants to develop adventures. I look forward to your game.
February 15th, 2001
I read the announcement about the name of your game today, and I’m concerned. It sounds like just another boring, pointless shoot-em-up with a story. I realize that absolutely nothing about the game has been announced, but I think the title makes it clear the direction you’re going, and the last thing we need is another crappy hybrid. I hope you’ll rethink this direction, or I won’t buy the game.
April 10th, 2001
Today I read the preview of your game online. I think it’s a really stupid story. It’s not at all how I would have written it. The preview says that it will be a purist adventure, completely free of action elements, but you chose to use Interface XYZ for the game. What a dumb idea. That interface is impossible to use, no matter how it’s implemented. I prefer Interface ZYX, and this announcement confirms that your game will not be very good.
June 1st, 2001
Thank you for releasing screen shots on your website today. Took you long enough. Not like we’ve been waiting four months or anything. Anyway, I’ve never had any experience with art, especially computer art, but those shots sure looked amateur. The quality was terrible, the character looked really stupid, and it was just generally so bad my eyes hurt when I was done looking. And can’t you add some more detail to those backgrounds?
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