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Search: Posts Made By: Hammerite
Forum: Chit Chat 03-10-2012, 04:01 PM
Replies: 1,085
Views: 73,178
Posted By Hammerite
SWISH FLAMBRE PRON FLAMP! Your wish is...

SWISH FLAMBRE PRON FLAMP!

Your wish is heard. Unfortunately, the Wish Granting People mishear "better", and thought you said "beta".
So, your life is buggy and incomplete. Occasionally, you get...
Forum: Chit Chat 09-05-2011, 01:26 PM
Replies: 1,085
Views: 73,178
Posted By Hammerite
Depending on what the word preceding 'ing' is,...

Depending on what the word preceding 'ing' is, that could well be the antithesis of a corrupted wish. :)
Forum: Chit Chat 09-05-2011, 12:37 PM
Replies: 1,085
Views: 73,178
Posted By Hammerite
BOKONON You find a job. A job that's perfect...

BOKONON

You find a job. A job that's perfect for you in every way -- suited to your skills, highly paid, flexible hours. But despite finding this job, the vacancy is not open and the person...
Forum: Chit Chat 08-06-2011, 08:02 AM
Replies: 1,085
Views: 73,178
Posted By Hammerite
Because all the students can't pay their fees out...

Because all the students can't pay their fees out of confusion, they are not officially considered to be students and still persist in e-mailing you about their doomed student finances.

I wish I...
Forum: Chit Chat 08-01-2011, 06:30 AM
Replies: 1,085
Views: 73,178
Posted By Hammerite
You don't get sued for plagiarism because it is...

You don't get sued for plagiarism because it is discovered that, due to a technicality, you don't legally exist. As a result, you are shot into deep space.

I wish I didn't get awkward and nervous...
Forum: Chit Chat 07-10-2011, 11:39 AM
Replies: 1,085
Views: 73,178
Posted By Hammerite
SBTRKT! You find inspiration for the project...

SBTRKT!

You find inspiration for the project you're working on in the form of a series of letters exchanged between you and a successful executive in the film industry. The executive steals your...
Forum: Chit Chat 07-08-2011, 02:09 AM
Replies: 1,085
Views: 73,178
Posted By Hammerite
Quinlank! You're Samuel Gordon. The only...

Quinlank!

You're Samuel Gordon. The only friends you have like you not for your personality or insights on various murders, but for the novelty of your staggeringly funny voice.

I wish I could...
Forum: Chit Chat 07-07-2011, 05:08 AM
Replies: 1,085
Views: 73,178
Posted By Hammerite
Quaznagadgian!! You gain the power to swim...

Quaznagadgian!!

You gain the power to swim better than any who ever came before you - the skills of the master god-king swimmers run through your veins!!
... but the one condition of possessing...
Forum: Chit Chat 07-07-2011, 01:54 AM
Replies: 1,085
Views: 73,178
Posted By Hammerite
CALIBAN You fall asleep, but you have a...

CALIBAN

You fall asleep, but you have a dream in which you are awake at 6AM and cannot get to sleep. Additionally, in the dream, your perception of time is altered so that one second is equivalent...
Forum: Chit Chat 04-06-2011, 01:11 PM
Replies: 1,085
Views: 73,178
Posted By Hammerite
You can type very fast, but so fast that you set...

You can type very fast, but so fast that you set your hands and your keyboard on fire -- resulting in the biggest fire in history.

I wish I could express my 'desires' to people more openly... or...
Forum: Chit Chat 04-21-2010, 08:03 AM
Replies: 1,085
Views: 73,178
Posted By Hammerite
You can - because you've been kidnapped in the...

You can - because you've been kidnapped in the dead of night and dumped in a secluded place where it's sunny all of the time!

I wish initiating conversation in an attempt to get to know someone I...
Forum: Chit Chat 04-20-2010, 05:56 AM
Replies: 1,085
Views: 73,178
Posted By Hammerite
Each day is 25 hours long, with 1 hour of each...

Each day is 25 hours long, with 1 hour of each day (the most inconvenient time there is, too) dedicated to a mind-crushingly dull panel discussion of some of the issues arising from the previous 24...
Forum: Chit Chat 07-24-2009, 12:27 AM
Replies: 1,085
Views: 73,178
Posted By Hammerite
Tuuur-pakat-grinsdillshorp!! You get all of...

Tuuur-pakat-grinsdillshorp!!

You get all of this but - because you failed to corrupt the previous wish - the Gods of the Thread release fiery beams of purest vitriol to DESTROY YOUR KNEES!!!

I...
Forum: Chit Chat 07-12-2009, 12:09 AM
Replies: 1,085
Views: 73,178
Posted By Hammerite
Ooo-zAAzAAH!! You get a glass made entirely...

Ooo-zAAzAAH!!

You get a glass made entirely of lemonade, you appreciate the irony - but eventually find it pretentious and representative of the breakdown of modern society... so you hit the...
Forum: Chit Chat 03-08-2009, 02:12 AM
Replies: 1,085
Views: 73,178
Posted By Hammerite
On Friday, you are run down by a tractor and left...

On Friday, you are run down by a tractor and left in a coma for the weekend.

I wish I could think of better wishes.
Forum: Chit Chat 01-14-2009, 12:07 PM
Replies: 1,085
Views: 73,178
Posted By Hammerite
They do, but the idea is quickly dropped after it...

They do, but the idea is quickly dropped after it is realised that there isn't a lot of demand for interactive gaming on coats.

I wish I could be more immediately approachable.
Forum: Chit Chat 12-22-2008, 06:22 AM
Replies: 1,085
Views: 73,178
Posted By Hammerite
*QMNWBE!* The much-speculated premiere of...

*QMNWBE!*

The much-speculated premiere of 'Vernon's Journey Through His Psyche Set To The Backdrop Of An Elaborate And Poignant Situation' is ruined by the fact that the team's under-reliance on...
Forum: Chit Chat 11-12-2008, 07:52 AM
Replies: 1,085
Views: 73,178
Posted By Hammerite
You are... and you are commissioned to make a...

You are... and you are commissioned to make a film about the most dangerous of all animals -
The Austro-Hungarian Murdering Slaughter Wolflizardbatbird.

I wish procrastination was the key to...
Forum: Chit Chat 10-10-2008, 05:08 AM
Replies: 1,085
Views: 73,178
Posted By Hammerite
Lqkejr! You don't turn into a fish, because...

Lqkejr!

You don't turn into a fish, because the granting of your wish simply results in you wishing you wished you were a fish.

I wish I was somewhat desirable.
Forum: Chit Chat 10-07-2008, 04:11 AM
Replies: 1,085
Views: 73,178
Posted By Hammerite
*GAHAN* The Magical Wish Gnome appears, but...

*GAHAN*

The Magical Wish Gnome appears, but you are in backwards land and what you said was "Pan a deen I!!", which makes him believe you to be a vengeful witch.
He therefore chases you and...
Forum: Chit Chat 09-20-2008, 12:50 AM
Replies: 1,085
Views: 73,178
Posted By Hammerite
DJfgiluehfuiojio You eat the girl for...

DJfgiluehfuiojio

You eat the girl for breakfast... and an investigation is underway. The police called earlier to say they would be at your house in four minutes to ask questions - and you haven't...
Forum: Chit Chat 09-16-2008, 05:57 AM
Replies: 1,085
Views: 73,178
Posted By Hammerite
You become inspired... ... to run naked through...

You become inspired...
... to run naked through a shopping centre armed with an assault rifle.

I wish I was less hard on myself.
Forum: Chit Chat 08-26-2008, 10:00 AM
Replies: 1,085
Views: 73,178
Posted By Hammerite
Dum-da-dumdum! Mr. Rabbit stays with you. ...

Dum-da-dumdum!

Mr. Rabbit stays with you.
You enjoy this for a few weeks... until he starts wearing your shirts and watching his TV shows and having his friends over and listening to his...
Forum: Chit Chat 08-07-2008, 01:43 AM
Replies: 1,085
Views: 73,178
Posted By Hammerite
You find out what to do! But you then see...

You find out what to do! But you then see 'Diff'rent Stokes' is on the TV and watch it for twenty minutes waiting for Gary Coleman's trademark catchphrase.
(in all seriousness, I'm sorry to hear...
Forum: Chit Chat 08-03-2008, 12:41 AM
Replies: 1,085
Views: 73,178
Posted By Hammerite
*jksdvhadwgyu!!* Iago arrives at your house and...

*jksdvhadwgyu!!*
Iago arrives at your house and is a pleasant addition to your life... until you realise that his previous owner had taught him to shout only racist slurs.
He is also incontinent.
...
Showing results 1 to 25 of 73

 
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