Are you happy? - Page 4

Orange Brat · 10-02-2005, 09:13 PM

Quote:

To OrangeBrat - I am so sorry about your marriage

Nothing to be sorry about..it happened. I've grown as a result believe it or not, and she and I seem to get along. I haven't seen her in a while, but we email, and I learn things. We might be getting together for a movie or something, but I won't be all sentimental or anything. I think I've moved beyond that stage. We'll see.

I have kinda sorta maybe met someone, however she's pretty complicated and has some issues. We're friends, and it's looking more and more like that's all it'll ever be, but like my emotional state...we'll see. Oh well, no matter which way that goes...she's been a great friend, and I'll always have that with her.

saucyminx · 10-03-2005, 07:49 AM

I am happy. I am thankful for miracles and good things that occured in life, so I am happy. Actually, I am deeply heartbroken, pained, sad and disappointed due to certain events that happened to me, the effects left me a long lasting impression. I'd give anything to turn back time and make some changes to the unpleasant memories. Sometimes, when I don't even know myself anymore or what I want, I would say I am unhappy. But at the same time, I am happy. Does that make sense?

Orange Brat: I hope you will be happy.

SakSquash · 10-03-2005, 08:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Orange Brat

Nothing to be sorry about..it happened. I've grown as a result believe it or not, and she and I seem to get along. I haven't seen her in a while, but we email, and I learn things. We might be getting together for a movie or something, but I won't be all sentimental or anything. I think I've moved beyond that stage. We'll see.

I have kinda sorta maybe met someone, however she's pretty complicated and has some issues. We're friends, and it's looking more and more like that's all it'll ever be, but like my emotional state...we'll see. Oh well, no matter which way that goes...she's been a great friend, and I'll always have that with her.

How long did you date before you got married?

Orange Brat · 10-03-2005, 11:03 AM

5 1/2 years beforehand and around 2 years married(including the last 3 months of official separation), so I knew her for 7 1/2 years. Well, I still know her and as I've said, we're in touch, but we're both on different paths, now.

SakSquash · 10-03-2005, 04:49 PM

Ah. I just ask because I told my gf of two years that we won't marry until we've been together for at least 5 years and have lived together for one year, but now after what you said, maybe I should make it longer?

Sage · 10-03-2005, 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by temporaryscars

Ah. I just ask because I told my gf of two years that we won't marry until we've been together for at least 5 years and have lived together for one year, but now after what you said, maybe I should make it longer?

That looks good on paper, but it doesn't work that way in the field. People change when they get married, even if you've lived together for a long time beforehand. Would you want to invest six years of your life dating someone only to have your marriage to them fall apart in less than half that time?
Either the marriage will work or it won't, but postponing the inevitable doesn't help your odds of success.
There exists a school of thought which states that first marriages are disposable and should be dispensed with as soon as possible; Kind of like a test-run so you'll know what you really want in a life-partner.
Also, the longer you wait, the more likely your partner is to go find someone who wants to get married now.

ScottMate

SakSquash · 10-03-2005, 05:16 PM

Er...so you're saying I should uh....what are you saying?

Orange Brat · 10-03-2005, 05:22 PM

He's saying get married sooner rather than later. People do change when they get married, although that is not always gonna be the case. Who the feck knows why, but they do.

Also, I lived with her for a year before marrying, but we were more or less living together even before that...just not our own place.

Sage · 10-03-2005, 05:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by temporaryscars

Er...so you're saying I should uh....what are you saying?

I'm saying grab all the happiness you can while you can. Tomorrow isn't guaranteed to any of us. Finish school then take the plunge. Stop planning how to fall in love and just let it happen. Don't waste time over-analyzing your heart.
In short, either shit or get off the pot.

ScottMate

*Melanie68* · 10-03-2005, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by temporaryscars

Er...so you're saying I should uh....what are you saying?

Really, this is the best time for you guys to get married. Judith Sills wrote a book called A Fine Romance: The Passage of Courtship From Meeting to Marriage and it talks about the 5 stages of courtship which in her eyes takes about 2 years for most couples.

She's a terrific writer and makes a lot of sense (to me).

EDIT: Scott said it much better!!

Orange Brat · 10-03-2005, 07:15 PM

BTW, here's a pic of the wench ex-wifey that spawned this mighty thread...my new friend whatever you want to call her is below that:

SakSquash · 10-03-2005, 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Orange Brat

BTW, here's a pic of the wench ex-wifey that spawned this mighty thread...my new friend whatever you want to call her is below that:

Hahahah! Oh dude, you totally won on that one.

Anyway, Scott, your "shit or get off the pot" comment just made this whole thing even MORE romantic. Thank you for the fecal imagery.

I guess i'm just trying to be safe than sorry, but you're probably right, it's not something you plan out. I just don't want to lose half of my stuff!

Sage · 10-03-2005, 07:38 PM

The US Marine's maxim of "Lead, follow, or get out of the way" didn't seem quite appropriate.
You're a penniless college student. Exactly what "stuff" would she be entitled to?

ScottMate

*Melanie68* · 10-03-2005, 07:53 PM

This is from the book I mentioned above:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Judith Sills

Marriage is not a product, it's a kit. You don't buy it, you build it. When you are single, you are encouraged to look at marriage as a product rather than as a process. We speak of "getting married" as if we were getting a car or a home computer.

Naturally, when you slip into this way of thinking, you are subject to any of the concerns that accompany a major purchase. You worry about whether you are getting a good deal, making the right choice...

...Marriage as a process is scary, but it gives you more control over your future. The risk is heightened because you have to acknowledge that, no matter how perfect your choice, you have to learn to create a marriage with your partner. The best choice does not guarantee the best marriage. The control you achieve is the sense that if you want your marriage to be great, you can help to make it so. Your happiness does not rest entirely on your choice of partner. It rests mainly on what you and your partner create after you have chosen each other...

Orange Brat · 10-03-2005, 08:05 PM

Quote:

Hahahah! Oh dude, you totally won on that one.

Huh? Too.....much......alcohol......151......uggghhhhhh hh

SakSquash · 10-03-2005, 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thrift Store Scott

The US Marine's maxim of "Lead, follow, or get out of the way" didn't seem quite appropriate.
You're a penniless college student. Exactly what "stuff" would she be entitled to?

ScottMate

Where the hell do you think all my money goes to? I buy stuff! I don't want to lose half of that stuff. And I'm not THAT broke...not that you would know anything about that mr. mechanic! Effing money bags.

Sage · 10-03-2005, 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by temporaryscars

Where the hell do you think all my money goes to? I buy stuff! I don't want to lose half of that stuff. And I'm not THAT broke...not that you would know anything about that mr. mechanic! Effing money bags.

LOL!
Yeah, you wouldn't believe how much it cost me to have my new Murcielago disguised as a 1988 Oldsmobile station wagon to thwart would-be car thieves.
That cost almost as much as having my mansion disguised as a dumpy apartment building.

ScottMate

Fairygdmther · 10-03-2005, 09:01 PM

No, tempsie, we all know where Scott's money goes - he's personally keeping the airlines in business with his peripatetic meanderings. He must win lots of money in Reno, to supplement his paycheck.

Lynsie

Intrepid Homoludens · 10-03-2005, 09:11 PM

In other words, Scottsie knows exactly how to handle his earnings in the way most advantageous to him.

Additionally, if you don't want your soon-to-be ex-wife to get your stuff, then keep your stuff the hell out of the nuptial agreement in the first place.

Sage · 10-03-2005, 09:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fairygdmther

No, tempsie, we all know where Scott's money goes - he's personally keeping the airlines in business with his peripatetic meanderings. He must win lots of money in Reno, to supplement his paycheck.

Lynsie

Eh, I love to fly and it shows. One four-nite trip to Reno costs about the same as two average car payments. Orbitz is my friend.

ScottMate

View Poll Results: Are you happy?
Yes	23	41.07%
No	11	19.64%
A little	12	21.43%
I don't know	10	17.86%
Voters: 56. You may not vote on this poll

10-03-2005, 07:49 AM	#62
saucyminx Schoolgirl From Hell Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Scotland Posts: 1,930	I am happy. I am thankful for miracles and good things that occured in life, so I am happy. Actually, I am deeply heartbroken, pained, sad and disappointed due to certain events that happened to me, the effects left me a long lasting impression. I'd give anything to turn back time and make some changes to the unpleasant memories. Sometimes, when I don't even know myself anymore or what I want, I would say I am unhappy. But at the same time, I am happy. Does that make sense? Orange Brat: I hope you will be happy. Share Share this post on Twitter __________________ "My life is my longest journey I wish to fulfill with my dreams..." "Or is it I who has penetrated you?"

10-03-2005, 11:03 AM	#64
Orange Brat OB Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 662	5 1/2 years beforehand and around 2 years married(including the last 3 months of official separation), so I knew her for 7 1/2 years. Well, I still know her and as I've said, we're in touch, but we're both on different paths, now. Share Share this post on Twitter __________________ The Disenfranchised™ - A Film Noir adventure series for the PC. Coming later.

10-03-2005, 04:49 PM	#65
SakSquash Banned User Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: New Paltz...for now... Posts: 6,177	Ah. I just ask because I told my gf of two years that we won't marry until we've been together for at least 5 years and have lived together for one year, but now after what you said, maybe I should make it longer? Share Share this post on Twitter

10-03-2005, 05:16 PM	#67
SakSquash Banned User Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: New Paltz...for now... Posts: 6,177	Er...so you're saying I should uh....what are you saying? Share Share this post on Twitter

10-03-2005, 05:22 PM	#68
Orange Brat OB Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 662	He's saying get married sooner rather than later. People do change when they get married, although that is not always gonna be the case. Who the feck knows why, but they do. Also, I lived with her for a year before marrying, but we were more or less living together even before that...just not our own place. Share Share this post on Twitter __________________ The Disenfranchised™ - A Film Noir adventure series for the PC. Coming later.

10-03-2005, 07:15 PM	#71
Orange Brat OB Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 662	BTW, here's a pic of the wench ex-wifey that spawned this mighty thread...my new friend whatever you want to call her is below that: Share Share this post on Twitter __________________ The Disenfranchised™ - A Film Noir adventure series for the PC. Coming later. Last edited by Orange Brat; 10-03-2005 at 08:10 PM.

10-03-2005, 07:38 PM	#73
Sage Bad Influence Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Birmingham, Alabama USA Posts: 5,547	The US Marine's maxim of "Lead, follow, or get out of the way" didn't seem quite appropriate. You're a penniless college student. Exactly what "stuff" would she be entitled to? ScottMate Share Share this post on Twitter __________________ Ignorance is bliss, denial is divine, and willful ignorance is a religious experience. Share the love. <3

10-03-2005, 09:01 PM	#78
Fairygdmther Magic Wand Waver Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Sarasota, Florida Posts: 3,142	No, tempsie, we all know where Scott's money goes - he's personally keeping the airlines in business with his peripatetic meanderings. He must win lots of money in Reno, to supplement his paycheck. Lynsie Share Share this post on Twitter __________________ Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. Ralph Waldo Emerson

10-03-2005, 09:11 PM	#79
Intrepid Homoludens merely human Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Chicago Posts: 22,309	In other words, Scottsie knows exactly how to handle his earnings in the way most advantageous to him. Additionally, if you don't want your soon-to-be ex-wife to get your stuff, then keep your stuff the hell out of the nuptial agreement in the first place. Share Share this post on Twitter __________________ platform: laptop, iPhone 3Gs \| gaming: x360, PS3, psp, iPhone, wii \| blog: a space alien \| book: the moral landscape: how science can determine human values by sam harris \| games: l.a.noire, portal 2, brink, dragon age 2, heavy rain \| sites: NPR, skeptoid, gaygamer \| music: ray lamontagne, adele, washed out, james blake \| twitter: a_space_alien

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