07-13-2005, 11:55 AM | #1 | |
Doctor Watson
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Self-assertiveness and Wormsie
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I have a bad habit of not being able to defend myself and my interests and rights. I am way too passive. But when someone manages to irritate me enough, I usually become aggressive. I only have these two ways of functioning. Any ideas of how I could become more assertive?
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07-13-2005, 12:00 PM | #2 | |
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07-13-2005, 12:17 PM | #3 | |
merely human
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Wow, tempsie........can I f#&k you? Heh, sorry, you make yourself sound so sexy in your 'assertiveness', I can't help myself . Anyway, good for you. Just remember, however, to always do it out of defense, not offense.
I do, however, love using my smallness to subversive advantage. It depends on the situation. When I'm at a bar enjoying a cocktail, taller guys usually swamp me and I'm pretty much invisible, which is how I prefer it. But I do have little strategies for 'asserting' myself. One time I was in line at Burger King. There was a tall guy to my side, and as soon as my turn came up he cut in front of me. I got pissed, and yelled "EXCUSE ME!!!" which startled him and he jumped and people from the far end of the room looked over. Then he profusely apologized and got behind me. It worked, because no one expects a harmless looking little guy to be like that. Quote:
I can personally answer that I'd prefer to kick people's asses to preserve my own interests and rights, who the f#&k are they to mess with it? I have every right to protect all that I believe in and have worked my ass off for. Whether you choose to be self-assertive depends on how much you respect yourself. If you don't respect yourself and all that you believe in YOU WILL BE TREATED LIKE SHIT. Is that what you want?
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07-13-2005, 12:18 PM | #4 |
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Whured, homes.
*been playing GTA:SA*
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07-13-2005, 12:19 PM | #5 |
merely human
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'sup, white boy?
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07-13-2005, 12:21 PM | #6 | |||
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Oh. Hurting people who matter to me. I have some difficult friends.
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07-13-2005, 12:24 PM | #7 | |||
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I'm trying to work on this issue, but I feel rather... overwhelmed. It feels unusual for me to think about myself this way, and it is very exhausting to actually admit that "yes, I have rights".
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07-13-2005, 12:26 PM | #8 |
Bad Influence
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If memory serves, Wormsie is not so tall as you, Temp.
My best advice is to speak your mind, Wormsie. If people agree with you, great. If they don't, that's fine too. Contrary to what a lot of people seem to think, life is not a popularity contest. It is far better to have a few friends who like you for who you really are than to be attended by scores of sycophants who will desert you the moment you say or do something they don't approve of. You only have to look at one person in the mirror every day, and to that person you should be true. Tell anyone who doesn't like that person to go get bent. ScottMate
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07-13-2005, 12:27 PM | #9 | |
merely human
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07-13-2005, 12:28 PM | #10 | |
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07-13-2005, 12:31 PM | #11 | ||
merely human
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07-13-2005, 12:32 PM | #12 |
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To me, it's all about tactics, if you think other people have over stepped the mark then you make it clear and make sure they don't try to undermine you, but you have to be careful not to over-react and come off as a jerk. You also have to be mindful of others, by trying not to be aggressive and being as neutral as possible. Not something I want to be all the time, when I'm with people I know I feel like I can be myself.
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07-13-2005, 12:36 PM | #13 |
merely human
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I've always believed in the Socratic way of dealing with things. If someone tries to intrude on me I'd ask them something like,"What do you hope to gain from this?" I trick them into questioning their own intentions and how it affects me (or others), and if I'm successful I'll have filled them with doubts.
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07-13-2005, 12:40 PM | #14 |
Bad Influence
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Listen to Trepsie. He knows whereof he speaks.
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07-13-2005, 12:47 PM | #15 | ||
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07-13-2005, 12:50 PM | #16 | |
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The pressure of trying to be more capable of protecting my own rights feels rather bad, though. It makes me feel very anxious, and I'm afraid that I won't reach my goal or that I'm wrong. ****, I'm not wrong.
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07-13-2005, 12:53 PM | #17 | |
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07-13-2005, 12:55 PM | #18 | ||
merely human
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"That's probably that last thing you'd say every time you were in bed with me." "How macho of you to say that. You probably tried to say it when we were in the bedroom, but we all know you can't talk when your mouth is full." "Hmmm. Tell me, what exactly are you to trying to compensate for by saying that?" (as I tell him this I'd visibly glance down at his crotch) Quote:
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07-13-2005, 12:59 PM | #19 | |||
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Oh, but actually that "in bed" thing is a good response. (Doesn't matter anyway, we broke up.) Quote:
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07-13-2005, 01:03 PM | #20 | |||
merely human
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Isn't that true, Scottsie? Now, repeat after me: Trep is f#&king evil. Quote:
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