[Intrepid Homoludens]

Angelina Jolie: "Hi, Jennifer. You don't really wanna go off with Kode, do you? I mean, honey, does he have these?" [unfastens her bra]

Jennifer: "Oh GOD!!" [turns to Kode] "Sorry, my former hero, you've been replaced"

Angelina Jolie: "Mmmmmm...." [walks over to Catherine and Moron Lite] "Sorry, but I don't think you'll be needing those any more." [grabs the smelling salts]

Moron Lite: "Hey!"

Kingz:

Trep [from inside closet]: "Help!! Get me out of here!"

[Kingzjester]

Oh, so we can bring whoever we want whenever we want, is that how this works?

Well, the chorus brings, uh... Brings... Bette Midler!



I love that woman though I really have no reason to. Aside from her fucking awesome obstacle course voice.

[Moron Lite]

HULK: Raaaarrrgghh! Hulk not like Betty! Hulk like Jenny! Wait!

[Kingzjester]

Aside: I just searched for "imdb" on www.imdb.com. I actually typed "imdb" in the search field of the damn site and hit enter!! The utter pointlessness of that action leads me to believe I have just unmade the universe. Goodbye everybody!

[Moron Lite]

I did a Google search for Google, once. Just for kicks.

[Intrepid Homoludens]

Kode: "But...but, Jennifer, darling! You said you wanted me for my heroic prowess!"

Moron Lite [finally noticing Kingz heaped on the floor]: "Aw, shite! Someone get him some help! Angelina, at least spare me one smelling salt!"

Angelina Jolie: "Sure, baby. Anything for the villoine." [chucks one salt at him]

Michael Douglas [eyeing Angelina Jolie]: "Hey you! I know you! Come here and see this." [turns around to drop his pants]

Moron Lite [adminstering the salt to Kingz]: "Here you are, bud. Kode, we'll get our chorus back now..."

[Kingz awakens with a shudder from the salt...]

Angelina Jolie [watching Michael Douglas pulling his pants down]: "What the hell....!"

Michael Douglas: "There! Ooooh yeah!!"

Kingz [seeing the hot doughy white ass once more]: .......

[Zygomaticus]

KODE: (To Jenniffer Connelly) I find you very attractive. Your assertiveness tells me that you feel the same way about me. But ritual remains that we must do a series of platonic actions before we can have intercourse. But all I really want to do is have sex with you as soon as possible... Are you going to slap me now?

[Intrepid Homoludens]

[Jennifer slaps Kode with much disdain]

Kode: "No! Darling, don't do this to me." [spots Kingz fainted on the floor again] "Dammit, we lost the chorus again! Somebody call the cops and have that doughy white ass arrested!"

Michael Douglas: "MUAHAHAHAHAHA! Soon the entire world will see my hot doughy white ass!"

Angelina Jolie [noticing Catherine Zeta-Jones]: "Ooh, and I know you. You were sooo hot in Traffic. Come here, baby, and give us a kiss."

Moron Lite: "Hey, leave my woman alone."

Catherine Zeta-Jones: "Your woman? Ha!" [sidles up to Angelina Jolie]

Kode: "We need more smelling salts! Angelina, how 'bout it?"

Kingz:

Trep [from inside closet]: "Will someone please let me out? I'm suffocating in here!"

Jennifer Connolly [noticing the closet]: "Mmmm, Angie, you ever done it in a tight confined space?"

Angelina Jolie:

Catherine Zeta-Jones:

[Angelina Jolie grabs Jennifer Connolly and Catherine Zeta-Jones and runs into the closet with them, permanently jamming the door. Kode and Moron Lite begin banging on the door]

Trep: "What the....HEY! Who are you people?"

Jennifer Connolly: "Oh GAWD! A petite Asian guy with a shaved head! Unh ooooh, let's put him to good use!"

Trep: "What? Get your hands off me! I don't like girls! HEEELP!! Let me out!"

Kode, Moron Lite: "Let me in!"

Trep: "Let me out!"

Kode, Moron Lite: "Let me in!"

Angelina Jolie: "Unh! Unh! Wow, this guy's loud. Catherine, cover his mouth."

Trep: "Grggggrrlphhh!!!"

Kingz:



[enter Bastich James Caviezel, in uniform and riding a pony]

J.C.: "Canadian mountie here. Someone called in a complaint. What's going on?"

Kode: "Oh god."

J.C.: "Well, heheh, that was another time and place. Anyway, who's this joker passed out on the floor? What's that noise?"

Michael Douglas: "MUUUAHAHAHAHAHA!"

J.C.: "Who the hell is that?"

Kode: "Michael Douglas. Don't look at him for too long."

Michael Douglas [rubbing his hands]: "Soon the entire world will fall to my hot doughy white!"

J.C.: "Hot doughy white? What is this guy, a baker?"

Moron Lite: "Yeah. His specialty is moon pies."

Trep [from inside closet]: "HEEEELP!! Someone get me the hell outta here!"

J.C.: "That....that voice. It's marvelous. Like a.....an angel in distress. Where is that voice coming from?"

[Moron Lite and Kode both point to the closet]

J.C.: "I must open that door, that I may discover who possesses such a marvelous voice."

Moron Lite: "Good luck. Those three skanks locked it pretty good."

Kingz:

[J.C. goes over to the closet door and waves his hands. It starts raining manna.]

J.C.: "Heheh, you must forgive me. It's been awhile since Mel trained me." [waves his hands again. The door starts spouting wine.]

Kode [eating some manna]: "While you're at it, could you make it rain ham and pickles too?"

Moron Lite [sipping the wine]: "Hmmm. Good vintage."

[J.C. waves his hands one more time. The closet door vanishes miraculously, and Jennifer, Angelina, and Catherine all tumble out half naked. Trep, with trepidation, slowly comes out.]

Trep: "Finally. Thank you."

J.C. [gazing at the Trep]:

Trep: "....what?"

J.C.:

[Zygomaticus]

Then Uma Thurman and Ralph Fiennes, the avengers, enter the room.



Ralph walks up to J.C.

*and we know what happens*

J.C. can't match that...



KODE walks up to Uma

KODE: Hey, isn't that dress a little tight...

UMA: Aren't you a little short...

KODE: WHAT! You're the one who's tall!!

UMA: Okay, stand on a stool then...

[Intrepid Homoludens]

[Kode steps up on Kingz's unconscious body. Uma grabs him and delivers a devastating French kiss]

Kode: "MMMGGRRPPPPHHLLL!"

Uma: "Mmmmm..."

Michael Douglas: "That's nowhere near as deadly as my hot doughy white ass!"

[Moron Lite sees Jennifer Connolly, Angelina Jolie, and Catherine Zeta-Jones on the floor, half naked, and lying in a pool of wine]

Moron Lite:

[Moron Lite]

Moron Lite: Holy mother of...er, I mean, ah... <head explodes>

[remixor]

Uh... awesome obstacle courses?

[Zygomaticus]

Oh my God!!



IT'S SGT. LOUIS GOSSET JR.!!

GOSSET: RUN THE OBSTACLE, YA MAGGOTS!



KODE: Woe is us.

GOSSET: Trep! What you slackin' off fer! Get down and gimme one hundred!

[Wormsie]

Now I'm really crying. Thanks a LOT! This thread has severely disturbed my mental balance. And I just got over the ignore list complex and doppelganger rex and everybody hating me and whatnot!

MY REVENGE SHALL BE HORRIBLE.

[Intrepid Homoludens]

Uma, Catherine, Angelina, and Jennifer [upon seeing deadworm walk in]: "OOOOOOOOOOH!!!! WHO IS THAT?!!!!" [start going after him]

deadworm: "WTF! Get away from me! Girls, too many of -- AAAAARRRGHHH!"



J.C. [at the Trep]:

Trep: "Will you stop staring at me?"

J.C.:

Trep: "Aw, christ."

J.C.: "Yes, my sweet? My love, my - "

Trep [confused]: "My god!"

J.C.: "You know my name so intimately! I could just whisk you away to heaven!"



Michael Douglas: "You all have NO idea how my hot doughy white ass will soon rule you all! MUUUUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

Kingz:

[AFGNCAAP]

AFGNCAAP [shakes his head in disgust at such a perverse scene, hides the deep and fascinating essay 'Terrorists vs. Zombie Pirates. What makes a Great Villain?' into his pocket and walks away]



[glancing at half-naked Catherine not more than seven or eight times]

[Intrepid Homoludens]

Michael Douglas [pointing at AFGNCAAP]: "Hey you! Look at this!" [turns around and drops his pants]

AFGNCAAP: ".....!!!"

Kode: "Is there smelling salts in the house?!!!"

Kingz:

[AFGNCAAP]

[AFGN's avatar eats Trep's avatar in revenge ]

Michael Douglas [notices a slip of paper in unconscious AFGNCAAP's pocket, takes it and reads aloud]:
"Very often, what makes a particular story effective is not just the villain as such, but the unique/complex relationship they have with the hero. Examples abound, with Star Wars, Unbreakable or Harry Potter series to mention just a few.
Ha, he didn't even wrote about Basic Instinct. Now that was a true piece of art. I actually applied for the Sharon's part at first..."

[Intrepid Homoludens]

Angelina Jolie [shoving Michael Douglas aside]: "Excuse me!" [administers smelling salt to AFGNCAAP, who wakes up with a shudder]

AFGNCAAP: "BRRRRRR!!! Whoah! What the hell!"

Angelina Jolie:"Good, he's awake. Jennifer! Catherine! Grab the nasty AG member and tie him up. We'll have great fun yet!" [Jennifer Connolly and Catherine Zeta-Jones lunge at AFGNCAAP as he gets up]

AFGNCAAP: "Hey!!" [before he realizes it he's strapped down to a chair]

Angelina Jolie: "Uma, will you do the honour?"

Uma Thurman: "My pleasure." [kneels down and takes off AFGNCAAP's shoes]

AFGNCAAP: "What the hell are you doing? This wasn't part of my fantasy."

[Uma produces a bright pink feather and gives AFGNCAAP an evil grin]

AFGNCAAP: "NOOOOOOO!!!"

Uma Thurman:

Michael Douglas: "HA!!!! That feather is nowhere as powerful as my hot doughy white ass!"

[Uma uses the feather on AFGNCAAP's foot]

AFGNCAAP: .... .... !!!

[AFGNCAAP]

[Trep, avatarless, falls into non-existence]

Voice from the Above: Now great, where will I find a news updater as good as him? You, on the chair, would you like the job?

AFGNCAAP [still laughing]: Hahahahaha.....Mnmngnmgn.....Bwahahaha....AHAHAHAH AHAHA

Voice from the Above: You dare to make fun of AG editor? DAMN YOU! [strikes a lightning bolt, that, accidentally, hits Kode]