[Curt]

Corporate Lesson 1

A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road. He
stopped
and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs,
forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg.the priest had a look and
nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his
hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father,
remember Psalm 129?" The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He
forced himself to remove his hand. Changing gear, he let his hand slide up
her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" Once
again the priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving
at the convent, the nun got out gave him a meaningful glance and went on
her
way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible
and
looked up Psalm 129. It Said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find
glory."

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you
might miss a great opportunity.

Corporate Lesson 2
A sales rep, an administration clerk and the manager are walking to lunch
when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a
puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll
give each of you just one." "Me first! Me says the admin clerk. "I want to
be in the Bahamas driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof!
She's gone.In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want
to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an
Endless
supply of pina coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone. "OK,
you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, I want those
two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

Corporate Lesson 3
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small
rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing
all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on
the
ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden a fox appeared, jumped
on
the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be
sitting very, very high up.

Corporate Lesson 4
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get
to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the
energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the
bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung
and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest
branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached
the second branch. Finally after a fourth night,there he was proudly
perched
at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot
the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't
keep you there

Corporate Lesson 5

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the
bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying
there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay
there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The
dung
was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon
began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to
investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the
pile
of cow dung and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Moral of the story:
1) Not everyone who sh*ts on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of sh*t is your friend. And,3) when you're
in deep sh*t, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

[Wormsie]

*makes notes*