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Old 07-18-2011, 02:32 PM   #1001
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Bangazazoom!

You don't fail your supervisor. In fact you do so well he or she promotes you to assistant supervisor. From there on you career starts skyrocketing towards the roof: supervisor, director, general director.

One day you have to make a business trip for the company to a far off country, an autocratic regime. Then as you're on your way to your bussiness meeting you get kidnapped by local insurgents. They demand a million dollar payment for your safe return. Unfortunately people at your company are only too happy to see you gone because now someone else can take your place so they don't pay up and since you don't have a family or your family has left you because you were far to busy with making a career for yourself to think about those trivial things, noone pays up and you are publicly beheaded.

I wish I didn't constantly feel the need to write depressing stories

Last edited by gray pierce; 07-18-2011 at 02:41 PM.
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Old 07-18-2011, 08:15 PM   #1002
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(This actually happened to me, and the alternative wasn't any better. )

^is put on antidepressants because of depression, and finds that all of the angsty, depressing stories he wants to write disappear...because his creativity to write anything disappeared. You haven't written anything in three years. (*sigh* True story...)

I wish I could go back and rewrite all of my crappy fan fictions I wrote before my creativity-dry spell. :/
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Old 07-23-2011, 10:34 AM   #1003
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Pinggggggggggggggggg!

You can rewrite all of your fan fictions, and when your done writing your computer turns off in a second because of a blackout caused by a storm, and you didn't have the time to click the submit button and lose your writing.

I wish the day was longer so I could get more things done.
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Old 07-23-2011, 11:30 AM   #1004
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Zingtillypoom,
You have been transported to the planet Ribulon in the Tadpole Galaxy, where your days are 3.41 Earth years long. You get a lot more done, but unfortunately, you have to kiss a lot of frogs, an essential courtesy in the Ribulon culture. You also live in a pond.

I wish I could hire someone to help me organize my closets and my home office/craft room.
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Old 07-23-2011, 12:56 PM   #1005
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blablablablablabla....oh wait, you had a wish? All right then......*ping*

You have now hired someone to organize. He actually organizes quite well. He organizes your closet, your home office room, and soon you find everything nice and organized.
However, there is one tiny problem: as you are not organized at all, you have no idea were everything is, and you find yourself looking for someone to deorganize things so you can finally find things again.

I wish I knew what game to play next.
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Old 07-24-2011, 05:44 AM   #1006
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Hack Hack Riffle Riffle

You break into the secret files of the awesome Freeware Co-ordinator and play all the games on the lists you find there. Unfortunately the lists that you found are the super-reject pile and all the games are absolutely terrible.

Click if you dare 1
Click if you dare 2

I wish that the local library copy of Fire Star wasn't already a fortnight overdue.
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Old 07-27-2011, 11:28 AM   #1007
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pinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggg!!!!!!

The novel isn't a fortnight overdue anymore! They announced today that it will be a 4 weeks overdue! But you can wait that long you can get it faster in a parallel world were you can get everything 14 days sooner then on Earth! you'll just have to wait 3 decades for a teleporting device to be invented!

I wish it was sunny!
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Old 07-27-2011, 11:54 AM   #1008
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Ping!

You are surrounded by Nissan Sunny's, the most boring cars ever made. Everywhere you look they are, and you are bored to death.


I wish I had a job again.
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Old 07-27-2011, 07:16 PM   #1009
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Yerhired!

You and kate me get hired as housepainters but due to miscommunication, you botch your first job terribly (see the Rumour thread ), get fired, and can only afford to eat bologna and cereal for the rest of the summer.

I wish I don't have be so crazy-busy at work next month.
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Old 07-27-2011, 08:10 PM   #1010
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Yin-Yang!

This corruption has two paths. You can be sane-busy or crazy-idle at work next month. Choose wisely, Grasshopper.

I wish I had a coffee shop/bookstore within walking distance of my house.
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Old 07-28-2011, 01:40 AM   #1011
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Fssshwssshwssshwsssh

You now have a 24 hour coffee shop/bookstore in your house. People now wander in and out of your house at all hours, ignoring any staff only signs you put up on the bedroom and bathroom. The coffee shop also only sells weird blends such as the Double Mocha Chocka Banana Sprouta Bacona Tofua Macchachinos (with extra trousers). The bookstore side only sells books featured on this website.

I wish I was incredibly well-muscled.
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A thread most controversial, that’s what I want to start
Full of impassioned arguments, of posting from the heart
And for this stimulation all will be thankful to me
On come on everybody it won’t work if you agree
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Old 07-30-2011, 07:02 AM   #1012
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Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggg ggg!

Welcome to future wishing!
You can choose from our variety of methods:

1. 10 buckets of fresh spinach;
2. A Superman costume filled with balloons;
3. A miracle medicine that give's you your desired figure in only 5 days! And if you hurry and call us now you'll get one free!
4. A subscription to the gym , or practice a certain type of sport and a healthy diet will certainly bla, bla, bla...

Actually:

1. You will freak out wherever you'll see spinach again for the rest of your life
2. You'll be surrounded by tons of kids and there's the bathroom issue too.
3. You don't believe that , do you?!?!
4. Oh wait this is the more plausible one, and this being the Corrupt a wish thread, this option is unavailable!

Have a good day!

I wish I had a better computer.
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Old 07-30-2011, 08:03 AM   #1013
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EYE! BEE! EM!

You are now in possession of HAL 9000, the sentient supercomputer from 2001: A Space Odyssey, which now controls all of the doors, windows, electricity, plumbing and appliances in your residence. Unfortunately, it has a "programming contradiction" similar to the one that caused it to attempt to kill the Discovery crew, so you are now trapped in your home and forced to play chess with HAL all day, every day.

I wish my employment contract will be renewed for at least one more year.
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Old 07-30-2011, 11:18 AM   #1014
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SMASHKADANG!

Your contract gets renewed but as a result, your company goes bankrup and they sue you. It goes to court and you get a lawyer but they get a bunch of better ones which they pay from their secret account in the caymans. So naturally, you lose and the demand huge sums of money. As a result you become very poor and noone wishes to hire you in fear of their company going bankrupt. Eventually you lose your home and start living among the tramps. One day you and another tramp find a sandwich and get into an argument over it. It gets out of hand and he bludgeons you to death with a loose cobblestone.

I wish not all of my stories would end with death and destruction
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Old 07-30-2011, 11:30 AM   #1015
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BAM!

Suddenly you die of flattening when you get hit by a UFO with a small mechanical problem. No more stories from you!

I wish I had a wish.
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Old 07-30-2011, 02:34 PM   #1016
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WHAAAZUP!

You have tons of thousands of wishes but no way of making any of them come true and you live miseraly for the rest of your life

(Yay, I ended a story without death or destruction)

I wish the X files didn't get cancelled so Mulder and Scully could look into my UFO related death
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Old 07-30-2011, 10:32 PM   #1017
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TRUSTNO1!

Because of your wish, The X-Files has remained on the air and will begin its incredible 19th season this year. Unfortunately, the episode that will feature Mulder and Scully investigating your mysterious death will turn out to be the absolute lowest-rated episode ever in the show's long history. (The agents determined you were actually killed by a UFO, an unidentified frying object. ), The ratings plummet will cause Fox executives to cancel the show for good and prevent any more X-Files movies from being made as well. Thanks a lot!

I wish I had more time to spend with my cousins this summer.
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Old 07-30-2011, 11:08 PM   #1018
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BAM!

Both your cousins are suddenly hit be debris of another UFO that exploded somewhere high in the atmosphere. They are rushed to the hospital near where you live. You now can visit them every day until they are healed.

I wish I didn't have to get up today.
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Old 07-31-2011, 05:05 AM   #1019
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Youfoe

You no longer have to get up today. This is because whatever you were planning to do today has been burned, crushed or blown-up by the plague of faulty UFOs that appears to have hit this thread recently.

I wish I knew a reliable second-hand UFO dealer that would sell me one that worked properly.
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Cold Topic

A thread most controversial, that’s what I want to start
Full of impassioned arguments, of posting from the heart
And for this stimulation all will be thankful to me
On come on everybody it won’t work if you agree
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Old 07-31-2011, 09:50 AM   #1020
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^ Xaaaaoh!

Thanks to a tip from a certain demon from Outer Zoobonia in the Trialviron system , you get in touch with someone named Dwight Zzaxqwkkkptooishlurgg St. James in Avebury (y'know, near Stonehenge and all those mysterious crop circles). He gives you a great deal on his spacecraft which he hasn't used since he landed nearly 35 Earth years ago and has kept hidden in his garage buried under some rubbish. You take off in the spacecraft for a test drive, but unfortunately, after a few minutes of flying past Neptune, you run out of energy. Dwight didn't get a chance to mention that his ship runs on fuel based on shatnerium (which, as it turns out, won't be discovered on Earth until 2165), so you continue to drift helplessly towards the edge of the solar system. When all hope seems lost, you see another spacecraft approaching rapidly. However, the craft is full of irresponsible joyriding Inner Zoobonian teens who collide with Dwight's craft, causing it to explode, and their damaged space vehicle begins to hurtle uncontrollably towards Earth.

I wish I didn't have such a warped imagination.
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